Venting Awesome! It's official! I've been banned from literally EVERY single internet website/forum/app ever except for Sanctioned Suicide!

[CeaseExist]

Out of all the groups I been on. I feel the people here are actually real. Reddit is a shit show echo chamber and the people there are the worst I've come across. Their "Suicide Watch" sub reddit is a joke. They do the usual "I love you, don't do it" Mother fucker, you don't love shit and don't know me and as soon as I am grounded you'll pat yourself on the back and ignore me. I hate people that say "I love you, I care, you mean something" No, Our dads nut in our mom and we come out 9 months later, THAT.IS.IT! . No miracle, No blessing, Just "Welcome to hell, dick head".

God dang it, don't even mention the "r/suicideWatch" subreddit, it's such a dumpsterfire it's insane. They didn't allow me to post a truly helpful comment of sharing experience and some outlook on life and struggle, because of some arbitrary formula they copied from suicide hotlines, and when I brought it to the mods, I got the most disinterested fuckwit on the planet, spewing some high horse shit, probably feeling superior to everyone, he even ended his reply with "If that's all I'm going, we are SAVING LIVES here..."

LMFAO, yeah you save lives, with your fake ass acting and empty platitudes from some half-assed government program that is complete virtue signaling at this point and isn't real help at all. I swear, all remaining people on reddit are either deranged, or literally retarded.

Also, all of the support groups are such a joke too. I made a post in a subreddit dedicated to people who suffered from abusive parents, and I've seen that people there could get me, understand what I've been through, yet when I needed their support and made an emotional rant and posted it, it got removed before anyone could see it. Again, when I contacted moderation, I got the most disinterested, low energy, completely uncaring asshole, that basically responded with "yeah, it got bad words in it, can't post it", when asked which words are the "bad words" in this subreddit, the response I got was "rule number 7, go read it".


LO AND BEHOLD ->RULE 7->: "Refrain from using words that could be triggering to others, or causing discomfort. This is at moderators discretion"

Sooo, basically anything can get banned at this point, just because some mods don't like it? Fucking great, what a helpful SUPPORT group. What a fucking hellscape, I'm glad I quit reddit before I lost it.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

God dang it, don't even mention the "r/suicideWatch" subreddit, it's such a dumpsterfire it's insane. They didn't allow me to post a truly helpful comment of sharing experience and some outlook on life and struggle, because of some arbitrary formula they copied from suicide hotlines, and when I brought it to the mods, I got the most disinterested fuckwit on the planet, spewing some high horse shit, probably feeling superior to everyone, he even ended his reply with "If that's all I'm going, we are SAVING LIVES here..."

LMFAO, yeah you save lives, with your fake ass acting and empty platitudes from some half-assed government program that is complete virtue signaling at this point and isn't real help at all. I swear, all remaining people on reddit are either deranged, or literally retarded.

Also, all of the support groups are such a joke too. I made a post in a subreddit dedicated to people who suffered from abusive parents, and I've seen that people there could get me, understand what I've been through, yet when I needed their support and made an emotional rant and posted it, it got removed before anyone could see it. Again, when I contacted moderation, I got the most disinterested, low energy, completely uncaring asshole, that basically responded with "yeah, it got bad words in it, can't post it", when asked which words are the "bad words" in this subreddit, the response I got was "rule number 7, go read it".


LO AND BEHOLD ->RULE 7->: "Refrain from using words that could be triggering to others, or causing discomfort. This is at moderators discretion"

Sooo, basically anything can get banned at this point, just because some mods don't like it? Fucking great, what a helpful SUPPORT group. What a fucking hellscape, I'm glad I quit reddit before I lost it.

I got perma banned there because I am not a hive minded person or a echo chamber degenerate. guess you can call me a rebel. Go against the grain and not with it. I gave reddit a try because I'm lonely but holy hell that just made it much, much worse because the people there are on some sort of shit I can't even wrap my head around, nor do I want to. Glad you got to see that place for what it is...A SHITHOLE! Fake empathy, sympathy while only care for their karma and ego

 

[TheSeeker]

I mean all of the mainstream stuff is just bots and they ban anything that is not blind optimism or bot posts. I'm not on any of those sites and feel better for it.

 

[slightoverlooked]

Though some other times I'd just say really weird and really creepy stuff that usually no one else would say, often sexual in nature...like when women would post photos of themselves I'd go on and on about how soft, smooth and sexy their skin looks and how I wanna touch it so bad; and even though I wasn't threatening their life or anything people would still report me and then I'd get banned. Even if the mods/admins gave me a 2nd, 3rd, 4th chance or whatever, I'd still end up blowing it.

So you say those things and expect not to be banned? why r u complaining about the consequences of your own actions? Who r you blaming? Stop being disgusting and keep those thoughts to yourself

 

[CeaseExist]

So you say those things and expect not to be banned? why r u complaining about the consequences of your own actions? Who r you blaming? Stop being disgusting and keep those thoughts to yourself

Well, lately internet spaces have become...a LITTLE tiny bit too sensitive about stuff people put on the internet. Basically to a point of "No, people are simple creatures, there is only 2 mental states, there are only 2 behaviors and there is no negative stuff, also people don't have weird behaviors or different logi" while wheezing and puffing nervously in panic, trying to block out real human interactions as much as possible.

I'm not trying to defend very antisocial behavior on platforms, but if your one and only response along the lines of "you are stupid" is called harassment and you get banned, I don't think it's okay. And the stuff this guy was typing is still pretty much lightweight in terms some problematic people can type out sometimes.

Again, just discussing

 

[Ferreter]

It happens, not a lot of open discussion for suicide, which is understandable but I think there's more nuances to it, just like most things in life, if not all things.

 

[slightoverlooked]

Well, lately internet spaces have become...a LITTLE tiny bit too sensitive about stuff people put on the internet. Basically to a point of "No, people are simple creatures, there is only 2 mental states, there are only 2 behaviors and there is no negative stuff, also people don't have weird behaviors or different logi" while wheezing and puffing nervously in panic, trying to block out real human interactions as much as possible.

I'm not trying to defend very antisocial behavior on platforms, but if your one and only response along the lines of "you are stupid" is called harassment and you get banned, I don't think it's okay. And the stuff this guy was typing is still pretty much lightweight in terms some problematic people can type out sometimes.

Again, just discussing

well Op is not saying "you are stupid". they admitted to saying things that would be classified as sexual harassment. thats not tolerable. the world doesnt revolve around op and hurting others with words will result in a ban. easy as that. just as murdering someone will result in prison time.

 

[Pluto]

 

[CeaseExist]

TL;DR At the bottom.

Any internet website/forum/app you can name I've been banned from. Reddit? BANNED! YouTube comments? BANNED! Instagram? BANNED! Discord? BANNED! Facebook? BANNED! WhatsApp? BANNED! Twitter? BANNED! TikTok? BANNED! Telegram? BANNED! Kik? BANNED! Snapchat? BANNED! Deviantart? BANNED! Tumblr? BANNED! Newgrounds? BANNED! 4chan? BANNED! And that's all the ones I can think of in this moment, but basically, any internet platform you can think of, I've been banned from it. Also including very obscure, unpopular niche ones that barely anyone knows.

They're also permanent IP bans that can't be gotten around using VPNs or Tor or whatever. Believe me I've tried. Platforms are becoming way more strict about IP bans and VPNs. But honestly I wouldn't really wanna go back anyway, as it already didn't work out and I don't wanna keep forcing it.

With the way things are going it's probably only a matter of time before I get banned from Sanctioned Suicide as well, though I really fucking hope not. This place is my only safe space outside of talking with my therapists. I already lost all my other safe spaces.

And honestly, I don't know if I can blame all those platforms for banning me. I'm extremely ill with several mental illnesses that make me act out. Bipolar, schizophrenia, and autism being some of the main ones, though there are certainly more. I definitely have many manic and psychotic episodes, and am often extremely delusional. I also have severe anger issues that I'm not proud of. What got me banned from these platforms is a combination of things.

TW:
For example, I'd say something stupid or creepy or whatever, someone would (probably rightfully so) call me out and insult me, and I'd then go into detail about how much I wanna torture them, rape them, kill them, shit all over their dead bodies, find and rape and kill all their family members and friends, etc. Those are usually the most extreme examples. Though some other times I'd just say really weird and really creepy stuff that usually no one else would say, often sexual in nature...like when women would post photos of themselves I'd go on and on about how soft, smooth and sexy their skin looks and how I wanna touch it so bad; and even though I wasn't threatening their life or anything people would still report me and then I'd get banned. Even if the mods/admins gave me a 2nd, 3rd, 4th chance or whatever, I'd still end up blowing it.

The mental illnesses are a big part of it, though honestly I'm not sure if they're 100% to blame. There are other people who share all these mental illnesses at once and are great and pleasant people. Even as a toddler I was already angry and violent and always getting into fights with the other kids. And I haven't changed a bit to this day.

Don't get me wrong, I've been taking many, many medications, seeing many, many therapists and psychiatrists, and have been to the mental hospital many, many times...BUT NONE OF IT IS WORKING!

All this to say, I'm 100% sure the world would be better off without me. I wish I could say this was just an online thing, but I'm just as bad in real life as I am online. So online or in real life, I'm insufferable.

So I deserve to die...and I WANT to as well. So makes for a good combo, eh? I'm too lazy and dumb to find a proper technique or method to die, but I just hope I either die in my sleep, get hit with COVID or another disease that'll kill me, get shot in the head by some sort of robber/mugger/gangster/serial killer/whatever, get hit by a car or bus passing by, etc.

TL;DR I really am a worthless piece of shit and an asshole. Both in real life and online. Literally everyone I've ever known hates me. Suicide is a favor for both me myself and the world around me, so people don't have to deal with my toxicity anymore. And I want to die anyway as I hate this planet.

Now I am really curious, and have to ask - How does that even happen? Do you loose your self control in these moments when you type out this stuff? Do you even register anything while it's happening? Like you have clear memories of typing it out?

Does it happen because of your emotional state, like if you see something on the net, you will suddenly feel some emotional based urge to say things/do things, and you actually feel it as in "you" or does it just happen?

If you are self-aware of those behaviors, yet cannot control them, it really looks like some mental illness is at play here, don't take it as an offense or anything, I just wanted to dissect your situation more and I cannot fathom that combo you have - "I know I shouldn't type these extreme messages, yet I write them obsessively"

Have you been to doctor at least, regarding this condition of yours? Especially since you feel really bad about it.