Awakenings

[Pluto]

Disclaimer: This subject matter can be triggering for people with dense ego structures. It can also be destabilising for people who might experience a shift in consciousness purely by being exposed to this material. Please only proceed if you have a legitimate respect for this subject matter.

I've commented a few times and from various angles about consciousness.

Spoiler: Just a few

Hardware, Software, Cats and Consciousness

Can the Vedantic perspective of consciousness be explained using the analogy of a computer? Everybody knows the difference between hardware and software. Hardware is physical, like a graphics card. Software is non-physical, like a video game. But alas, a philosophical dilemma follows: if...

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Why Religion Fails

Part I Perhaps ironically, it is the religion of Taoism that says it best. According to legendary Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu in around the 4th century BCE: The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao; The name that can be named is not the eternal name. That's it. The whole story...

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Time and Identity

Defining Time Firstly, what is time? There seem a few ways to approach the question. My dictionary says, "A nonspatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future." It could also be described as the fourth dimension...

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â

Trigger warning: may contain references to archery. The Second Arrow The Buddhist parable of The Arrow (Sallattha Sutta) describes life as shooting two arrows. The first represents challenging events, such as physical pain, mental illness, financial problems and so forth. The second is the...

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I Have Nothing to Say

A Thread About Nothing There's nothing to see here. Nothing has value. I care about nothing. Yet an inherent paradox arises in speaking about nothing, since the very act of making it an object of discussion implicitly converts it into a 'something', yet it is not. Perhaps there is no such thing...

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Life is...

Life is... what? Good? Bad? Sublime? Dreadful? No, Life is. That's the whole philosophy, if it can be called that. It can be rephrased thus: existence exists. So how is it useful or practical to know that existence exists? Because our immediate compulsion is to add to it. Perspectives...

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The Duality of Yin & Yang: Bad is Good and Good is Bad?

Warning: this topic may be triggering or destabilising for some people. Yin & Yang Yin & Yang is a familiar symbol representing the concept of interconnected opposites in Taoism and other ancient Chinese philosophies. These interconnected opposites include feminine/masculine, birth/death...

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The Essence of Eastern Philosophy

G'day all, Firstly, thanks to the mods for doing a subforum of this nature, not too dissimilar to my earlier suggestion. It is appreciated and I retract my criticisms. In the past, I've tried making posts about Eastern philosophy, but failed to deliver a simple and digestible message. The true...

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This is based on the perspective of Eastern philosophies (and their Western counterparts), with the climax of each discussion the claim that 'enlightenment' is a real thing which happens to real people.

This thread is dedicated to case studies of actual awakenings. I am using terms like awakening/enlightenment/realisation very loosely, since what matters at this stage is the big realisation that the separate self, the 'me' identity, is not real. Obviously, we are not talking about an intellectual understanding or even a passing experience, but a permanent shift at the most fundamental level: the level of identity.

Ramana Maharshi
Starting at the top, Ramana is in my view the ultimate sage. Unlike most gurus, he had no dubious character flaws and exhibited no questionable behaviours. He never touched money, never had any relationships, had no scandals and his presence was so powerful that people often had awakenings just by being around him.

Word got out and people flocked to Tiruvannamalai (South India) from around the world. His teachings were well documented. To this day, his words carry immense power, though his highest teaching was silent sitting. His most common verbal teaching was, "You are already the Self." This message, understood deeply, is very direct and can trigger an awakening. Failing that, he promoted the technique of self-enquiry; asking 'Who am I?' as a method of realising the Self.

Back in the late 19th century, Ramama fully realised the Self at the age of 16 in the midst of a panic attack. He had no way of getting help and was sure he was going to die, so he decided to watch to see who is going to die. In that moment, he realised himself as the birthless, deathless Self, and would never fear death again. After this, he found himself drawn to the sacred mountain of Arunachala where he spent the rest of his physical life, which ended in 1950.

There was no formal lineage. Only twice did Ramana declare beings enlightened, and in both cases after their deaths. However, a number of his followers went on to become spiritual teachers themselves.

Papaji
One such teacher became known as Papaji. His own awakening occurred as a result of an incessant search for God. In response to this question, Ramana explained that God cannot be found as an external object and he must look inwards via the question "Who Am I?" This was the teaching that finally ended Papaji's life-long search.

In this video, probably filmed in the late '80s or early '90s (he died in 1997), Papaji artfully guides a seeker to her awakening. The verbal teaching itself could be summed up as "The Self is no distance from where you already are." (When seekers are ripe, simple teachings like this are utterly explosive.) The video goes for 8 minutes.



Mooji
One of Papaji's followers, later known as Mooji, had his big moment in response to Papaji telling him the following, "If you want to know the truth, you must disappear."

While there is again no formal lineage from Ramana to Papaji, nor from Papaji to Mooji (indeed, this is an incendiary topic to many Ramana devotees who are critical of his successors), I have gotten value from Mooji's teachings. He still produces masses of YouTube videos to this day.

The one I'm interested in today is the experience of a woman who had an awakening in response to one of Mooji's one-liners: "The mind doesn't exist." Again, a typical teaching with the power to detonate the ego when it is truly heard. The later parts of this 10-minute video show the result.



That's enough for today, but more to come.

 

[Pluto]

Today we have Eckhart Tolle.

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Eckhart Tolle is notable as the most 'mainstream' nondual teacher. His talent seems to be presenting deep spirituality in ways that are graspable and practical for the layperson.

'Normies' are attracted to these sorts of teachings for the prospect of feeling better, though this can be quite a separate ambition from actually demolishing the false self. Eckhart does well at both; his work has also been described as a 'gateway' to hardcore spirituality, where the singular goal is ego death rather than self-improvement. Many people start with Eckhart before gravitating to awakening-oriented teachers like Adyashanti.

Onto the story. Eckhart described in another video being an unhappy child, growing up in post-WWII Germany. He recalled seeing some scaffolding around a building and taking some comfort that if things got too bad, he could use it to jump to his death. As an adult, the theme of depression and anxiety was ongoing, finally reaching a zenith one night when he was 29.

He awoke in the middle of the night in an intensely distressed state, with the thought "I cannot live with myself any longer" repeating in his mind. Spontaneously, however, he did self-inquiry, asking who the self is that he cannot live with. His awakening followed, which he described as stunning realisation, his mind stopping, an intense fear and then a feeling of being sucked into a void.

He awoke the next day in an advanced state, as if seeing the world for the first time in awe and wonderment. The background state of peace never left him.

It is worth noting that it takes most people countless years to attain the state that was bestowed upon Eckhart in one night. I'm hesitant to compare his awakening with that of Ramana Maharshi but there are certainly some striking parallels.

Spoiler: Excerpt from The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Until my thirtieth year, I lived in a state of almost continuous anxiety interspersed with periods of suicidal depression. It feels now as if I am talking about some past lifetime or somebody else's life.

One night not long after my twenty-ninth birthday, I woke up in the early hours with a feeling of absolute dread. I had woken up with such a feeling many times before, but this time it was more intense than it had ever been. The silence of the night, the vague outlines of the furniture in the dark room, the distant noise of a passing train -- everything felt so alien, so hostile, and so utterly meaningless that it created in me a deep loathing of the world. The most loathsome thing of all, however, was my own existence. What was the point in continuing to live with this burden of misery? Why carry on with this continuous struggle? I could feel that a deep longing for annihilation, for nonexistence, was now becoming much stronger than the instinctive desire to continue to live.

"I cannot live with myself any longer." This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. "Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the 'I' and the self that 'I' cannot live with." "Maybe," I thought, "only one of them is real."

I was so stunned by this strange realization that my mind stopped. I was fully conscious, but there were no more thoughts. Then I felt drawn into what seemed like a vortex of energy. It was a slow movement at first and then accelerated. I was gripped by an intense fear, and my body started to shake. I heard the words "resist nothing," as if spoken inside my chest. I could feel myself being sucked into a void. It felt as if the void was inside myself rather than outside. Suddenly, there was no more fear, and I let myself fall into that void. I have no recollection of what happened after that.

I was awakened by the chirping of a bird outside the window. I had never heard such a sound before. My eyes were still closed, and I saw the image of a precious diamond. Yes, if a diamond could make a sound, this is what it would be like. I opened my eyes. The first light of dawn was filtering through the curtains. Without any thought, I felt, I knew, that there is infinitely more to light than we realize. That soft luminosity filtering through the curtains was love itself. Tears came into my eyes. I got up and walked around the room. I recognized the room, and yet I knew that I had never truly seen it before. Everything was fresh and pristine, as if it had just come into existence. I picked up things, a pencil, an empty bottle, marveling at the beauty and aliveness of it all.

That day I walked around the city in utter amazement at the miracle of life on earth, as if I had just been born into this world.

For the next five months, I lived in a state of uninterrupted deep peace and bliss. After that, it diminished somewhat in intensity, or perhaps it just seemed to because it became my natural state. I could still function in the world, although I realized that nothing I ever did could possibly add anything to what I already had.

 

[Tears in Rain]

Disclaimer: This subject matter can be triggering for people with dense ego structures. It can also be destabilising for people who might experience a shift in consciousness purely by being exposed to this material. Please only proceed if you have a legitimate respect for this subject matter.

Out of interest, has this subject matter ever been destabilising for you, like you mentioned above in your disclaimer? Or have you ever experienced a shift in consciousness?

 

[Pluto]

Out of interest, has this subject matter ever been destabilising for you, like you mentioned above in your disclaimer? Or have you ever experienced a shift in consciousness?

No, it is destabilising for people who are new to the subject matter. Twice, I've accidentally put other people into temporary altered states just by talking about it. In both cases they became speechless, and in one case I had to drive home as she felt unable. I later learned that it is considered inappropriate to bring up the subject without proper consent. Whoops.

I've come close to a major experience a few times; something was happening and I tried to surrender, but it always ended anticlimactically. But for me, it is best not to focus on such things as it only reinforces the ego, time and the intention for some future attainment. There's more value to the 'boring' (according to the mind) present moment than a great mystical experience last week. In practice, there's a subtle balance between keeping the enquiry open, yet being surrendered to the present.

This leads nicely to the next story, Jim Carrey, though his may count as a mystical experience rather than an awakening. But as mentioned earlier, I'm happy to use terminology loosely for now since all represents disruptions to the imprisoned mind, replaced by tastes of nondual reality.

Link

 

[Tears in Rain]

I've come close to a major experience a few times; something was happening and I tried to surrender, but it always ended anticlimactically.

What kind of major experiences?

But for me, it is best not to focus on such things as it only reinforces the ego, time and the intention for some future attainment. There's more value to the 'boring' (according to the mind) present moment than a great mystical experience last week. In practice, there's a subtle balance between keeping the enquiry open, yet being surrendered to the present.

You mention in one of your links above that "to deeply understand that 'life is', is to initiate an explosion".
Also, you ask "How many seconds will it take until the mind fills in the terrifying void with an objectiion, an opinion?".

Do you think that your own ego is sabotaging any real progress in terms of waking up?
Do you think the egos fear of the "terrifying void" will ultimately lead you to go round in circles, never really moving forward?

Therefore, to deeply understand that 'life is' is to initiate an implosion.

...How many seconds will it take until the mind fills in the terrifying void with an objection, an opinion?

 

[Pluto]

What Angelo Dilullo calls the 'fear barrier' is a part of the process; the body has an intense physiological response to the awakening process - i.e. feeling like it is dying even though nothing physical is happening - which usually lasts for 5-10 minutes. In the Power of Now excerpt above, Eckhart reports at one point, "I was gripped by an intense fear, and my body started to shake." Most people find this too overwhelming the first time, but knowing that it is normal will help them to go through on subsequent attempts. It is just a question of reaching that point. On the other side of the fear barrier is an otherworldly peace.

It is important to make this the most important thing and avoid distractions (this has been my weakness, though now is the first time in my life that I don't have to work). One has to also understand the weird paradox that Ramana alluded to earlier; the one who is supposedly trying to get rid of the ego is the ego! He once used the analogy of a policeman who never catches the thief because the policeman is the thief. These sorts of subtle pitfalls can make guidance important.

---

I have accumulated a few others that I want to share. More to come after I've done some research.

1) Man reports to Mooji, "I've realised that I don't exist."


2) Woman says to Mooji, "Today is the happiest day of my life because I just realised that the person I thought I was doesn't even exist."


And finally, for something light: an Eckhart Tolle impersonator.

 

[Pluto]

Zen Buddhism
The theme for today is Zen Buddhism. This post has taken me days. Feel free to chime in with questions/comments or ignore the proceedings as you wish.

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Spoiler: Preamble

The Dilemma of Direct Teachings
I am reminded of the discord by some adherents of traditional Advaita Vedanta admonishing modern counterparts like Papaji. The somewhat derisive term neo-Advaita has been applied to the latter by traditionalists who argue that there is no shortcut to Self-realisation.

Proponents of modern, direct teachings counterargue that spending years, if not lifetimes studying vast scriptural texts and committing to endless, formal sitting practice adds unnecessary baggage to the process of enlightenment. Indeed, the notion of practising in order to be what you already are is at some point seen as a hilarious absurdity. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I commented about things that can 'go wrong' with religion in general in a previous thread entitled Why Religion Fails. In this context, perhaps either perspective can be valid. It is practical to say that a pathway to enlightenment must be followed with commitment, yet the ultimate truth to be realised is the absence of a self to do anything at all. Hence the popular term, 'the pathless path.'

Endless time can be wasted by a seeker getting drawn into a narrative about having to spend lifetimes overcoming the false self. This approach carries the danger of the ego co-opting the process by identifying as a 'man on a [spiritual] mission.' I'm reminded of Ramana Maharshi's analogy of the policeman who never catches the thief, because the policeman IS the thief.

At the opposite polarity is the most extreme neo-Advaita approach, the so-called uncompromising message of the likes of Tony Parsons and Jim Newman. Here, the message is endlessly repeated that there is no you, no me, nobody to do practice, nobody to gain enlightenment, etc. While this is a genuine insight, the trap here is that the seeker may accept this idea as a mere belief, mistaking intellectual conviction for liberation. Again, endless time can be wasted being stuck with a shallow understanding.

What may start to emerge is balance. In the past, I've described it as a Venn diagram where the direct message, "The separate 'you' is completely false, here and now," is intersected with the practical teaching, "You must work to remove layers of ego to achieve liberation."

Understood correctly, this is a paradoxical harmony rather than a baffling contradiction. If the simple message "You don't exist" is TRULY heard - admittedly a rare event - the result is profound. Yet as so-called 'time' passes for a so-called 'seeker' entity, there is a so-called 'process' requiring so-called 'effort.' The end result is that every non-dual teacher insists that there is no separate self and never was, yet themselves went through years of arduous seeking to reach that insight.

This brings us to the unique approach that Zen brings to this same dilemma.

Zen: The Perfect Balance?

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My main source of research for this post is Philip Kapleau's 'The Three Pillars of Zen', which dates from 1965. It is a lengthy text at over 400 pages, going into detail on revered masters, traditions, practitioners and practices of Zen. Yet equally, it is clear that this is truly a direct pathway for sincere seekers. Could Zen be a perfect balance of presence and effort?

In short, Zen is the branch of Buddhism for seekers who are wanting nothing less than liberation in this very lifetime. Even so, Kapleau points out that there can be four classes Zen practitioners: 1) those who hear about Zen and are curious to learn more, 2) those who want to practise Zen to benefit their physical and/or mental health, 3) those who wish to commit themselves to the pathway of the Buddha, and 4) those with a "strong determination to become enlightened."

Obviously, it is that fourth class that is of interest for the purposes of our discussion today. This group is special because they have already attained a genuine faith that enlightenment is a real thing. They are open to the hope of being liberated themselves. They are willing to do whatever it takes. What must follow is a direct yet substantial, pathless path.

Zen Nomenclature
I have been looking forward to writing down the various Zen terms that I am picking up for my own education. Etymological origins vary given Zen's background in India, China and ultimately Japan. No doubt there are many fascinating historical stories of cross-cultural pollination, yet this intellectual playground must be bypassed, no matter how enticing. So with that said, here are a few terms:

1) Zazen: literally 'seated meditation'; formal Zen meditation.
2) Sesshin: literally 'touching the heart-mind'; a period of intensive zazen in a Zen monastery.
3) Shikantaza: literally 'just sitting'; a simple meditation practice which avoids focusing attention on a specific object.
4) Jikijitsu: the head monk in charge of the timekeeping, activities and discipline of practitioners in the monastery.
5) Kyōsaku: a flat wooden stick used to strike meditators to remedy a lapse in concentration (yes, really).
6) Koan: a question, story or statement intended to point towards pure consciousness.
7) Mu: literally 'without'; A koan intended to point to pure consciousness. Robert M. Pirsig used the analogy of computer circuits purportedly having only states of 0 or 1; he says that with the power off, the state is mu.
8) Kensho: literally 'seeing true nature'; an initial insight or awakening that requires development to mature into full Buddhahood.
9) Roshi: a leader of a community of Zen Buddhist monks.

Already, the nature of this terminology starts to shed light on a serious, strict, disciplinarian approach. There are no greetings like 'good morning', nor casual interaction between practitioners. Long days of intensive zazen start early each day; meals are simple and timing is precisely monitored. Practitioners are taught to minimise all noise, even while eating. There are periods of chanting and time dedicated to physical work. Yet all this grueling austerity is not without purpose.

Get to the Point Already
Philip Kapleau's book was brought to my attention by modern day nondual teacher, Dr. Angelo Dilullo. The latter was particularly enthralled by the chapter in which the actual awakening experiences of several Zen practitioners were documented in detail. I am unclear whether this actually triggered an awakening for Dilullo or merely supercharged his dedication by highlighting that enlightenment is a real, attainable thing for all of us. But he has referenced this book as a turning point several times.

So, with that out of the way, let us look at a few of them from the book. I will attempt to summarise in my own words.

Mr. K.Y., Japanese Executive, 47 (1953)
Following time at a monastery, he was riding on a train one day and reading a Soto Zen book dating from the late 17th century. He was struck by the line: "I came to realize clearly that Mind is no other than mountains and rivers and the great wide earth, the sun and the moon and the stars." He had read this line before but finally grasped its essence. Tears began to well up. That night, he awoke at midnight. The same quotation flashed into his consciousness.

He recounted what followed: "Then all at once I was struck as though by lightning, and the next instant heaven and earth crumbled and disappeared. Instantaneously, like surging waves, a tremendous delight welled up in me, a veritable hurricane of delight, as I laughed loudly and wildly. "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! There's no reasoning here, no reasoning at all! Ha, ha, ha!: The empty sky split in two, then opened its enormous mouth and began to laugh uproariously: "Ha, ha, ha!" Later one of the members of my family told me that my laughter had sounded inhuman.

"Although twenty-four hours have elapsed, I still feel the aftermath of that earthquake. My entire body is still shaking. I spent all of today laughing and weeping by myself."

Mrs. A. M., American Schoolteacher, 38
Growing up in Germany, her innocent childhood was dramatically upended by the rise of the Nazis. Having a Jewish father, the family became isolated. Then, in 1938, the family home was destroyed by hordes of drunken troops, with her father beaten and dragged to a concentration camp.

She landed in California in 1939, having escaped the Nazis by miracle, and settled there. She took an interest in Yogananda and other Eastern philosophy. But despite achieving a fruitful family life, she felt a lack of purpose and asked herself, "What am I living for?" While holidaying in Hawaii in 1962, her husband found a local zazen group. An enlightened Japanese sage was leading a sesshin there.

She was assigned the koan Mu. Over the days of the sesshin, her immense enthusiasm, sleepless nights and dedicated practice saw her experience hallucinations of childhood, strange dreams and trance-like states in which a fog lifted as she experienced a 'sweet nothingness.' Tensions rose and on the fourth day, she was moved by the story of a monk so determined to reach kensho that he meditated with a stick of incense in one hand and a knife in the other, vowing to kill himself if he did not reach enlightenment by the time the incense had burned out; with the pain of the burning stub, he became enlightened. She rose to this level of determination.

On the last night, doing zazen all night, breathing Mu and falling into trances, she recalled another monk who had reached kensho in a similar state of fatigue. She dozed off in exhaustion. She was awoken by her husband touching her on the shoulder for sesshin. With a bright "Ha!" she realised she was enlightened. Indeed, the Roshi tested and passed her.

She wrote, "A lifetime has been compressed into one week. A thousand new sensations are bombarding my senses, a thousand new paths are opening before me. I live my life minute by minute, but only now does a warm love pervade my whole being, because I know that I am not just my little self but a great big miraculous Self."

Mrs. L.T.S., an American artist, 51
A sculptor, she had found family life and unanswered questions about the truth of life overwhelming and turned to alcohol. Controlled by fear and guilt, she phoned Alcoholics Anonymous for help. This turnaround initiated a deeper search of her own truth.

Explorations of philosophical books led her to Zen as referenced in Aldous Huxley's Perennial Philosophy. Serendipitously finding herself in Japan for an art exhibition, she ruthlessly pursued Zen. Despite being unable to speak Japanese, she found a monastery where sesshin was underway and was helped by Western students.

She was later led to a Pendle Hill sesshin in England. Some forty strangers began and her group, seeking kensho, was assigned the koan Mu. On the second day, she saw Mu as a brilliant star-like light illuminating objects, but the Roshi admonished her to ignore these hallucinations and concentrate harder. On the third day, she battled thoughts of her family and marriage problems, yet continued her struggle to get hold of Mu.

"Go deeper," the Roshi said. "Question 'What is this Mu?' to the very bottom."

She went deeper and deeper. To the centre of the Earth and the centre of the cosmos. She was there! The Roshi said, "Now you understand that seeing Mu is seeing God."

She later wrote:
"I feel clean.
I feel free.
I feel ready to live every day with zest, by choice!
I am delighted by the adventure of each moment.
I feel as though I have just awakened from a restless, disjointed dream. Everything looks different!
The world no longer rides heavily on my back. It is under my belt. I turned a somersault and swallowed it.
I am no longer restless.
At last I have what I want."