Autism

[hotelbooks113]

I was reading about how autistic people have a way higher rate of suicidal ideation and suicide attempt something like x2 for autistic men and x8 for autistic women compared to neurotypical. I always felt way more depressed and suicidal than typical people- wondering if any other autistic people felt the same and what's your backstory? I have my own theories of how autism develops from my background? Wondering if anyone else here has autism and your background.

 

[loweroneseyes]

society isn't built for us unfortunately, i believe it is because autistic people are way more likely to get mistreated or forced to practice maladaptive behaviors to mask as a "normal"/socially acceptable person. finding a path forward in life in general can be very difficult because of the lack of basic accommodations

 

[Dark Moon]

society isn't built for us unfortunately, i believe it is because autistic people are way more likely to get mistreated or forced to practice maladaptive behaviors to mask as a "normal"/socially acceptable person. finding a path forward in life in general can be very difficult because of the lack of basic accommodations

Yeah that and the lack of support unless you're on the severe end of the spectrum.

Finding a career, relationships, friends all of that requires socialization and that's something that we lack.

For me at least, I'm not interested in society nor do I pass or fit into it anyway.

 

[loweroneseyes]

Yeah that and the lack of support unless you're on the severe end of the spectrum.

Finding a career, relationships, friends all of that requires socialization and that's something that we lack.

For me at least, I'm not interested in society nor do I pass or fit into it anyway.

right, i think this makes a lot of autistic people inherently isolated/lonely and somewhat maladjusted -> decreased quality of life
i often find i'm only interested in keeping up relationships with other autistic people, but even then it can still be incredibly difficult

 

[sserafim]

I didn't know it was x8 for autistic women. That's so high. I guess I'm destined for suicide then…

Yeah that and the lack of support unless you're on the severe end of the spectrum.

Finding a career, relationships, friends all of that requires socialization and that's something that we lack.

For me at least, I'm not interested in society nor do I pass or fit into it anyway.

Me neither. I don't want any of those things though. I don't want a career, relationship or friends. Socialization just doesn't appeal to me. I'm also not interested in society

society isn't built for us unfortunately, i believe it is because autistic people are way more likely to get mistreated or forced to practice maladaptive behaviors to mask as a "normal"/socially acceptable person. finding a path forward in life in general can be very difficult because of the lack of basic accommodations

It's annoying how we're expected to change ourselves to fit a system not built for us. Why should I have to change myself to suit the world?

 

[Dark Moon]

I didn't know it was x8 for autistic women. That's so high. I guess I'm destined for suicide then…

Me neither. I don't want any of those things though. I don't want a career, relationship or friends. Socialization just doesn't appeal to me. I'm also not interested in society

It's annoying how we're expected to change ourselves to fit a system not built for us. Why should I have to change myself to suit the world?

Socialization doesn't really appeal to me either but didn't you say you wanted a relationship with your crush and friends?

 

[Eternal Eyes]

I'm autistic and have self harmed on and off for over a decade now. Have yet to fully attempt CTB, but close many times. Like many on this thread, society, and the things deemed normal and achievable in society, seem unobtainable, and almost alien to me. I feel like a literal alien, like I don't belong anywhere I go, even when i try hard to make bonds, or contribute to things. Even when I feel like I'm doing well, I feel like an imposter, or like I'm not really real, like I'm masking myself.

I also know two autistic women (one is my cousin), and can confirm the suicide rate is extremely high. Both were frequent self harmers throughout their teens and attempted more than twice.

The sad part is, they're two of the nicest and most talented people I know. I know pro-life isn't really the most liked viewpoint around here and I agree on why, but I'm so glad both are still alive today.

 

[Esokabat]

Autistic woman here. I will ctb due to going blind due to glaucoma, however I don't think I would be in the same situation if I would not be autistic and would have a partner, family and friends. I have none of those as I don't fit into this world, and as a result, blindness is much less an option, being completely alone and no support. Autism has been harder for me than anything else in life. All my life chasing normal and only recently realizing that normal will never happen for me, I am just inherently different from normal, since birth, not changeable

 

[timetodie24]

I'm autistic and do think it's big part of why I ended up here. Partly because I'll never fit in, will always be lonely, struggle to get job. But also just everything overwhelms me- can't understand and process my emotions properly (therapy didn't help that and made things worse), sensory issues mean i'm never comfortable, my brain fixates on certain thoughts and never any escape. I'm defective and it is a disorder. I hate the whole it's ' a superpower' or 'just a difference' as it's disabling. Even in a more accepting society, i'd still struggle to survive.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yes, autistic people are definitely disproportionately represented in spaces like this. It's certainly why why I'm here.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I have autism and I certainly despise existing, simply being conscious and aware has always been tiring for me and I'm not meant for it, I'm not meant to decay from age in this hellish world. In my case it's not "depression" but rather having awareness of how truly undesirable existence is, I find it tragic how life even exists at all, existing really is just meaningless suffering, I really wish I never existed more than anything.

 

[cymbaline23]

I was reading about how autistic people have a way higher rate of suicidal ideation and suicide attempt something like x2 for autistic men and x8 for autistic women compared to neurotypical. I always felt way more depressed and suicidal than typical people- wondering if any other autistic people felt the same and what's your backstory? I have my own theories of how autism develops from my background? Wondering if anyone else here has autism and your background.

It's basically impossible for me to socialize, but I truly hate being alone. I feel like I wasn't made to fit into this world, so much about it is so inauthentic. I hate how humans are all perceived differently based on our gender, race, etc. I don't want to be any gender or any race, I wish I could just exist. I'm have no desire to conform to this society, or even the nature of life in general. It's overwhelming to even leave the house, but I'm so sick of isolating. It makes me feel insane. I don't even know where to go. I don't want to grow old and die. I don't want to see the people I love die. I wish I knew people who feel the way I do. I truly don't understand what people see in this life. I enjoy music and love, but not much else. I haven't been diagnosed yet, but I'm 99% sure I'm autistic at this point.