Venting autism ruined my life and my dreams

[lameemo]

I've always wanted a family, nothing more than a single child. A child who i would bring up in a loving household. A child that would face no financial hardship, one that would never question their parents love. A child is have dinner with every night, that id help with their homework, meet their friends.

there's nothing i long for more and i can't have it. i'm never been mentally well, intense trauma with autism and bpd. of course i was never planning on having a child till i healed i was always so hopeful..that id cure my bpd and everything would go good. but i forget…you can't cure autism. my deficits from it will always exist, although they wouldn't personally prevent me from being a good parent. it prevents me from living in a capitalist system like we currently have set up. i was born to be a government free loader.

i cannot work, not in the way needed to support my self, especially not a child. i cannot work and do anything else without burning out, in fact even my current 25 hours a week brings me so close to burn out. it makes it impossible to anything else.

but…i'd be able to take care of a baby no burnout. i wish people like me were not seen as such scum by the government. i wish i didn't have to give up my life, give up everything. but i am simply out of my options, nobody is coming to save me.

i cannot continue to live in a world filled with so little hope for me to reach happiness. it's cruel

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I'm autistic and want a child as well. I'm still trying and waiting.

 

[lameemo]

I'm autistic and want a child as well. I'm still trying and waiting.

i hope you get the child and they are healthy <3

 

[LifeIsASadist]

Autism ruins lives and some people think its a "cute kink"

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Autism ruins lives and some people think its a "cute kink"

Don't get me started on these MFers

 

[lameemo]

Autism ruins lives and some people think its a "cute kink"

exactly, it's not cute or fun for me at all and many many others. it's just a big stressor

 

[SchizoGymnast]

i hope you get the child and they are healthy <3

I want to foster/adopt children with complex needs. Cystic fibrosis is my favorite.

 

[LifeIsASadist]

exactly, it's not cute or fun for me at all and many many others. it's just a big stressor

My step dad : "BUt AlBErt eInsTeiN anD ELOn mUsk"

Albert was never even confirmed to have autism

Elon was born to a rich family and my boot licking conservative step dad still thinks he "earned" his wealth

Autism even tanked my IQ too, I am convinced I have a below 70 IQ

 

[lameemo]

I want to foster/adopt children with complex needs. Cystic fibrosis is my favorite.

I genuinely find that admirable, and not in a "oh woe is you, taking care of a disabled child" type way. It's just, sadly impressive to see someone who actually cares about disabled people. If i was adopting and or fostering i would most likely go for autistic and traumatized teens, i hate how little they're adopted.
Any child would be lucky to have you are a parent disabled or not because you already have more emotional intelligence and empathy than 90% of people in my life

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

I personally don't want children (I'm anti natalist) but I always wanted a family as a child, a family that I didn't have, so I appreciate that there are people willing to adopt or have children and after getting them , care for them , I'm not jealous, I'm happy because at least someone will experience what I didn't, it is what it is, I was here to break the cycle for my family tree , it doesn't mean everyone is destined to do the same.

I also hate when I see people excusing themselves for being born lucky or having happy families, like umm why? do you want to live in poverty , with no family, raised by hate and to only know despair? Be happy with the unfair advantages you got, life is trash and unfair , every kid that doesn't have a mental illness and has a decent family doesn't make me jealous, it makes me happy because they don't have to suffer through this bullshit.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I genuinely find that admirable, and not in a "oh woe is you, taking care of a disabled child" type way. It's just, sadly impressive to see someone who actually cares about disabled people. If i was adopting and or fostering i would most likely go for autistic and traumatized teens, i hate how little they're adopted.
Any child would be lucky to have you are a parent disabled or not because you already have more emotional intelligence and empathy than 90% of people in my life

I actually don't think caring for people with disabilities is hard if you're creative and let go of expectations of what the "perfect" life is supposed to be. I love it.

 

[amerie]

I always wanted to have two daughters, but i wouldn't want them to have my ethnicities or mental conditions in this fucked up world. It would be so unfair for them. I sometimes have dreams about being pregnant and I always feel so hollow afterwards.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't see what having autism has to do with your ability to have children. My uncle has autism and he also has a kid.

Anyway, not being able to have kids is probably for the best. That life that you are fantasizing about is far from what life with children is actually like anyway. Plus, deciding to procreate is inherently selfish and cruel (at least in my opinion). Being childless is always objectively better.