Venting autism anxiety

[spinningship]

Just sitting having panic attack i'm just a stupid fucking loser. Can't even do hygiene properly. I'm not even that depressed atm, just need out of my skin, like anxiety has me so irritable. Seeing people mock autism triggers the fuck out of me every single time it's a guaranteed thought loop. I just think everyone thinks of me as some stupid dummy. Even people who support autism are always so fucking condescending. Fuck this stupid fucking existence.

 

[animism]

Just sitting having panic attack i'm just a stupid fucking loser. Can't even do hygiene properly. I'm not even that depressed atm, just need out of my skin, like anxiety has me so irritable. Seeing people mock autism triggers the fuck out of me every single time it's a guaranteed thought loop. I just think everyone thinks of me as some stupid dummy. Even people who support autism are always so fucking condescending. Fuck this stupid fucking existence.

I'm on the spectrum, too and haven't brushed my teeth except with a dry toothbrush to hide the white stuff in a while. I don't remember the last time I took a shower but I do wash my hair in a sink once in a while to not raise suspicions. Hygiene is very difficult for me but it's because I don't care to wake up so why would I care if I'm clean? I can relate to your thoughts and wish I had advice but I don't so here is a hug, stranger, and hope we figure out the things which seem to come so effortlessly to many. I wouldn't mind sitting in our filth together if that means anything. In my book that doesn't determine what kind of a person you are, especially a "loser". That's a term made up by neurotypicals to keep us down. If at the end of the day you aren't actively trying to hurt little living things then you're a better soul than most.