Discussion Attempts

[mlcs]

How many times have you attempted to ctb so far? How did you feel after failed attempt? What consequences did it leave to your body, brain and health in general?

I am affraid of failed attempt. I already have limited time and history of forced hospitalization so there's no space for experimenting. Never attempted so far because I want to gather and calculate all accessible resources and methods. I would prefer it to be peaceful, but I am also not fan of experimenting and would like it to be definite, even if it requires short span of indcredible pain, while also still being afraid of pain. Death doesn't scare me in general, every morning is the same and I was never thankful for being awake, so the pain and physical and psychological aspect of SI are my biggest problems.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've never properly attempted as suicide is very difficult for me personally, sadly we exist in a world where we are denied the option to reliably leave in a straightforward way and I would fear a suicide attempt failing, the thought of a suicide attempt failing is so horrible to me.

 

[the12.mors.ishigh]

i've tried twice and i felt super disappointed in myself

 

[Sweet Tart]

I'm too scared to try and fail. The potential consequences seem too awful- potential residual physical issues and the attention my psych issues would get.

 

[captive]

i don't know if you can call these attempts, but it is something close anyway. month ago in mental breakdown i desperately tried to cut my arm with nails, got some bleeding after this, not from veins though. and my second attempt was just 3 days ago, tied a rope to wardrobe bar, put it around my neck, just before blacking out i didn't felt like i should do this. likely because of survival instinct, can't really remember. i don't care about failed attempts while trying to kill myself, i hope it won't be too serious if i fail so i can keep trying, i want to use any chance to leave this world. i wish i was never born into this hell in the first place. why it is so hard for a person to end it all at once?

 

[The anhedonic one]

I tried the night night method the other night in an act of sheer desperation.
I was obviously doing something wrong because I am still here.
But overall I have had 8 different attempts. Most of them failed due to the fact that I'm a chickenshit coward .

 

[day]

On several occasions I've done large amounts of drugs with alcohol in hopes to fall asleep and not wake up.

Wasn't till recently that I started developing a plan to CTB that will hopefully end up better than my previous attempts which truthfully in the back of my head I knew would probably not work.

 

[sunsetboat234]

I've tried twice
the first time with carbon monoxide a year ago in my car. I passed out but woke up due to SI.

And then a month ago i was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks from taking a bunch of pills with alc. I was in the psych ward and it was the worst experience of my life

 

[mlcs]

I've tried twice the first time with carbon monoxide a year ago in my car, fell asleep then woke up.
I was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks from od'ing, was in the psych ward worst experience of my life

did somebody find you in a car? how did u set it up? with a hose or in a garage? did u have cathalitic converter or was it removed? and for how long were u in there?

 

[sunsetboat234]

did somebody find you in a car? how did u set it up? with a hose or in a garage? did u have cathalitic converter or was it removed? and for how long were u in there?

i bought this hose from a hardware store, duct taped it to the catalytic converter and duct taped the other end through my window. I was also very drunk, i think i was there around 15-20 minutes but i'm not sure since i blacked most of it out. I felt super sick the next few days though, was super nauseous and could still smell the carbon monoxide weeks later it was like ptsd.

 

[mlcs]

i bought this hose from a hardware store, duct taped it to the catalytic converter and duct taped the other end through my window. I was also very drunk, i think i was there around 15-20 minutes but i'm not sure since i blacked most of it out. I felt super sick the next few days though.

cathalityc converter removes 99% of CO so ut doesn't make much sense to try CO method before removing it

 

[sunsetboat234]

cathalityc converter removes 99% of CO so ut doesn't make much sense to try CO method before removing it

I'm pretty sure i did it right i spent hours of research i just don't remember much from it

I'm pretty sure i did it right i spent hours of research i just don't remember much from it I was also in a hurry so that's probably why i failed