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Ive been suicidal since I was really young. My first attempt was at 10 and its just gone from there. My mom is terribly abusive and we started getting along more the last year. Ive been going through a rough patch where ive been feeling worse. She blamed me today for the fact that her parents dont speak to her anymore. Basically told me im the catalyst for everything bad thats ever happened to her. Im just tired. I feel like ill never heal from the wounds she left on me. Im tired I cant do this anymore. When I donr speak to her i do even worse than when I am. It feels like there's no getting better for me. My parents are divorced and I live alone but my dad still wont stick up for me in anyway. Im going through a divorce and im just tired.Why? What's up? You seem so cool!!!
Listen, I have a shitty mom too and I get it. Maybe not the exact same way but my mom has blamed me for most things too telling me to kill myself and shit. And a divorce is really shitty but please try a little longer. Move out to a small apartment alone, don't talk to your parents and please try and talk to people outside like make friends and stuff. Post on social media. Anything that will give you some hope! Adopt a kitty! That will help you feel less alone, try and get a small job to keep you afloat and please don't listen to her. You sound reasonable and ik I don't know you but you seem nice!
I live in an apartment alone in the same town my mom lives in. Ive tried so many things. I just feel like none of it matters anymore.
Probably not. I guess I could in some capacity but I wasnt really planning on it.
That would be lovely :) thank you!Hi hiii! IDK if chat works for me but I'll stay on here if you want
Living alone is tough. I'm there too. What do you mean your dad won't stick up for you?
Nope. Im not. I went 2 years without speaking to her and had the most attempts ive ever had during that time. Id have horrible panic attacks. She haunts everything I do. Im not strong enough to exist without her yet when im around her she tears me down. I want my mom more than I can help it but shes never been there ro begin with. My mom is just the big thing there's alot more. I struggle with self image and I have a horrible eating disorder. The world is getting so terrible and I dont want to deal with it all anymore.
Honestly that's okay. She can win. She haunts everything i do. I dont care about someone else winning or anything like that. Im so tired. I want my mom. I want all the trauma to go away. Ive tried therapy and medicine and psychiatrists ive tried psychiatric hospitals ive done everything I can think of and im tired.
No its not at all. I understand where youre coming from. I appreciate it. This isn't a spur of the moment thing. My mom was the only thing holding me back and so now I just feel like the door finally opened yknow?Okay I'm bad at this but here's a list of things that can cheer you up!!:
-get a kitty
-go to therapy
-eat your favorite meal!!!
-talk to someone either online or irl
-do silly makeup (have fun!!!)
-look back on yourself as a kid (she was smiling at one point!! She loves you)
-post on social media(you might get a few people who wanna talk or something)
Okay this last one might seem like I'm an asshole but honestly any vices or shitty thing hurting you but keeping you alive is better than you being gone!!! Like seriously drink a little or smoke. Sorry if this seems shitty or rude but like I hope you get what I'm tryna say.
Honestly I just have the time. My college class today was canceled and im off work today. Not to mention my family isnt going to be stopping by or anyghing.
Ah no I guess I dont. Im doing a partial hanging with a scarf in my closet and a chair. I guess ill need to think of one.
It's worth having unless you're super sure. I remember even with my old setup, it only closed the veins, but even then I started fading really fast. Less than a song.
Yes I'm the same way! A bunch of pokemon plushies ans build a bears! Im a drag queen so I perfom in high elaborate makeup and big huge wigs lol! Im a singer!
oh oh let's not forget all of the custom ones I have with scent packets, hearts, recordings, and custom messages written on them from people I care about or that care(d) about me
God I feel that big time. I have a huge bean bag and they cover the bean bag, two nets and my bed
Omg wait thats such a cute idea with the magnets I love that!
LOL I LOVE MY NETS ITS FUELED MY ADDICTION LIKE NO OTHER !!!
