Attempted Suicide and the Near Death Experience

[Ob La Dee]

I am going to ctb very soon with SN. I was just wondering if anyone here had (or knows someone who had) a near death experience as a result of a suicide attempt. Was it positive or negative?

I am not afraid of complete oblivion and I will welcome it with open arms. However, I am somewhat afraid of a negative experience at the moment of death.

 

[Ednospatient]

anesthesia is probably the closest thing to death living humans can experience, and I've been anesthetized multiple times and I can say it's really bliss and you don't even realize the moment you black out

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I've had a few OBE's related to drug use but never any NDE's. I'd recommend checking out this site, it's the largest archive of both on the net and each story lists the cause for it. There's plenty of CTB related stories here.

NDERF Home Page

Near Death Experience Research Foundation the largest collection of Near Death Experiences (NDE) in over 23 Languages. With thousands of full-text near death experiences posted. Share your near death experience, research, spiritually transforming events, consciousness studies, extensive...

www.nderf.org

 

[Chiisai]

I am going to ctb very soon with SN. I was just wondering if anyone here had (or knows someone who had) a near death experience as a result of a suicide attempt. Was it positive or negative?

I am not afraid of complete oblivion and I will welcome it with open arms. However, I am somewhat afraid of a negative experience at the moment of death.

Hmm... I do not know if its a near-death experience but when I tried the exit bag with butane method, I passed out for like 5-10mins. However in that moment, even though my vision was dark, I see a psychedelic kaleidoscope-like image paired with a throbbing headache and then I woke up. If what I felt was really a near-death experience, What I can say as positive is being able to see trippy stuff. The negative though is the intense headache. I really dont know. Maybe was just high from the butane.

 

[Bedrock48]

The actual sui attempt leading up to this first one was awful (bad method, bad planning, comfort meds weren't strong enough or didn't work). However, once the hallucinations and pain got bad enough to kick in SI I called an ambulance for myself. They loaded me up with anti emetics and fluids but gave me IV cyclizine which I reacted really badly to. After they left the room I started having severe tremors (not seizures as I was conscious) and my heartrate I think spiked to 170+. A few doctors ran in asking all these questions but their voices were muffled and fading. I felt really floaty even as they jammed another IV into my wrist. Everything was moving slower and felt so distant. I passed out when they started moving my bed to a higher up ward. Honestly thought I was dying at that point but didn't really care. Sadly woke to find myself in a new ward with my head completely in a (thankfully) empty sick bowl. Completely fine thanks to IV potassium and fluids but a little dazed. Very disappointed since that would have been a very pleasant final experience. If I can find a way to die in hospital I'd love to, I feel being surrounded by people who cared about my wellbeing helped.

Other one I had, again unsure if a true near death experience but it was nice nonetheless. This was a couple years back and I wrote the document from where I took this exert only about an hour after I came round from it. "Then during one dream I saw myself lying on my floor. Above me this light started appearing and I felt hands reach from it to grasp mine. These hands (I couldn't see them, just feel them) pulled me upwards into a stark white space. My first genuine reaction was that I was no longer in alive. The absolute first thought in my mind was "Hey, I'm dead!" These hands were seemly attached to the blinding light before me. This light spoke to me and said "Hey, hey, it's alright. You cannot give up yet, you've got some wonderful years ahead of you." Next thing I remember I 'wake' back to reality."
In the white space there was this tangible feeling of calm surrounding me. That part makes me think that is was some sort of religious/nde and not just a dream.

 

[toforigivelife]

According to those who feel they have a connection to the other side suicides are not treated any differently than other ways of dying.

This is just one video but there are several more that have the same message; no, suicides are not "punished".

Of course there are videos that warn people about commiting suicide and then trying to cross over but overwhelmingly people say that those who commit suicide are embrace with the same love and understanding that others are.

I think those who have near death experiences who warn against suicide or try to scare suicidal people are just afraid that their stories make death sound more enticing to people like us on this forum.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

According to those who feel they have a connection to the other side suicides are not treated any differently than other ways of dying.

This is just one video but there are several more that have the same message; no, suicides are not "punished".

Of course there are videos that warn people about commiting suicide and then trying to cross over but overwhelmingly people say that those who commit suicide are embrace with the same love and understanding that others are.

I think those who have near death experiences who warn against suicide or try to scare suicidal people are just afraid that their stories make death sound more enticing to people like us on this forum.

Suicides can also be viewed like any other sudden event that causes death. When religious people say that you need to live out your natural lifespan, they do not account for accidents.

 

[toforigivelife]

This was interesting. This man's name is Peter Panagore. He had a near death experience and openly admits that he regrets deciding to come back rather than stay on the other side.

He is a spiritual person, he is a respected pastor and admits he only remains alive out of a sense of obligation to others and that he'd really like to "go home".

Obviously I appreciated his honesty and I'm glad that a man of faith had the guts to admit that life is not a gift and didn't blather about his glorious it was to return to this life.

Suicides can also be viewed like any other sudden event that causes death. When religious people say that you need to live out your natural lifespan, they do not account for accidents.

A lot of people who have had near death experiences no longer consider themselves to be religious, they prefer to call themselves spiritual, they state that there is no one true religion, just one source, that we're all in this together, we're all connected and that everyone gets into heaven, even those who die by suicide and that the "source" or the "creator" is not a punishing entity who keeps track of your every misdeed and understands the complexities of life in this world and the complexities of being human a lot better than we think this source or creator does.

 

[Pluto]

The following is essential reading as it contains research from a variety of respected sources on the topic of suicide NDEs.

Various Near-Death Experience Research on Suicide - Near-Death Experiences and the Afterlife

Near-Death Experiences and the Afterlife profiles Various Near-Death Experience Research on Suicide . Did you enjoy reading this post, we have more!

near-death.com

I've researched this topic for countless years. Many sources report that suicides get stuck in a 'void' for a period of time before going to the light like everyone else. Others have completely conventional experiences. It's hard to know what is fear-mongering and what is genuine.

One source (Home With God by Neale Donald Walsch) even claims that people who fail to live out their natural lives (accidents, etc. count as natural death as they are not really accidents from a higher perspective) will have to be reborn into the same lifetime. That one scared me out of CTB for years, as starting over this lifetime would be far worse than hell. Still, when the body feels uninhabitable, CTB is natural and unavoidable. I don't have a final answer but welcome all research.

 

[toforigivelife]

The following is essential reading as it contains research from a variety of respected sources on the topic of suicide NDEs.

Various Near-Death Experience Research on Suicide - Near-Death Experiences and the Afterlife

Near-Death Experiences and the Afterlife profiles Various Near-Death Experience Research on Suicide . Did you enjoy reading this post, we have more!

near-death.com

I've researched this topic for countless years. Many sources report that suicides get stuck in a 'void' for a period of time before going to the light like everyone else. Others have completely conventional experiences. It's hard to know what is fear-mongering and what is genuine.

One source (Home With God by Neale Donald Walsch) even claims that people who fail to live out their natural lives (accidents, etc. count as natural death as they are not really accidents from a higher perspective) will have to be reborn into the same lifetime. That one scared me out of CTB for years, as starting over this lifetime would be far worse than hell. Still, when the body feels uninhabitable, CTB is natural and unavoidable. I don't have a final answer but welcome all research.

I've heard those veiled threats - I don't know what else to call them - too.

It's confusing that a serial killer who serves out their "natural lifespan" - staying alive is easier when you're a psychopath who has no conscience - will be received into the light but that those who suffer from a mental illness and end their life are treated differently.

I get that the serial killer will have to deal with one heck of a life review but it's confusing that there are special rules for suicides.

As I said, no one wants to share a near death experience and then make death seem more enticing to a person who is perceived as having control over their destiny, I understand that they don't want to encourage suicide to people who might possibly benefit from outside help.

Suicide is obviously a complex issue but I've heard what you've heard and I've also heard just the opposite. One spiritual person even went as far as to say that sometimes suicide is a part of what is known as your soul contract.

I've also listened to near death experiences from people who've crossed over and have seen loved ones who've died by suicide only to find them healthy and happy in the other realm.

I received what is known as an evidential psychic reading, where the reader touched upon something with complete accuracy, something I never told another living soul about, and they told me that my sister who died by suicide was not ready to come forward yet, that she was with our late father - and again touched on something evidential - and that she is receiving the love that she needs.

People who've had near death experiences don't want to encourage suicide, and I'm not trying to talk OP into killing themselves either, but I do not like the extra layer of fear and anguish that these tales of "if you kill yourself God has a special punishment set aside just for you" that some of these experience-ers like to add to the psyche of suicidal people.

The near death community has not found an effective or accurate way of handling the topic of suicide.

 

[Pluto]

The near death community has not found an effective or accurate way of handling the topic of suicide.

Well said and I agree! I've agonised over these contradictions for years as they are absurd.

One problem is that we are trying to mentally conceptualise a complex system in which each life path affects all others. We're all the same thing. Even the serial killer isn't 'bad', but was set up to teach others about the lowest impulses of human behaviour through being born into a lifetime with particular genes, parenting, traumas and so on. Everyone has a completely unique path that cannot be compared to any other.

It makes sense that suicide could be a part of a 'contract' under some circumstances. But if a suicide were completed by someone who is reasonably healthy, loved by others, perhaps has children to look after but just has a totally flippant attitude towards life, that could cause a lot of suffering and violate whatever agreements we had prior to birth. Everyone on this site has far more genuine reasons, hence things are considered over a longer period and we engage in genuine discussions.

As a community, putting up a wall of initial discouragement around suicide does make sense to avoid absurd outcomes, such as a child who does poorly in some silly school test impulsively deciding to CTB. For the rest of us, these things need to be taken on a case by case basis. But it's rare that I get to engage in discussion with someone who shares my interest in this topic, and your conclusions bring me a lot of comfort.

 

[toforigivelife]

Well said and I agree! I've agonised over these contradictions for years as they are absurd.

One problem is that we are trying to mentally conceptualise a complex system in which each life path affects all others. We're all the same thing. Even the serial killer isn't 'bad', but was set up to teach others about the lowest impulses of human behaviour through being born into a lifetime with particular genes, parenting, traumas and so on. Everyone has a completely unique path that cannot be compared to any other.

It makes sense that suicide could be a part of a 'contract' under some circumstances. But if a suicide were completed by someone who is reasonably healthy, loved by others, perhaps has children to look after but just has a totally flippant attitude towards life, that could cause a lot of suffering and violate whatever agreements we had prior to birth. Everyone on this site has far more genuine reasons, hence things are considered over a longer period and we engage in genuine discussions.

As a community, putting up a wall of initial discouragement around suicide does make sense to avoid absurd outcomes, such as a child who does poorly in some silly school test impulsively deciding to CTB. For the rest of us, these things need to be taken on a case by case basis. But it's rare that I get to engage in discussion with someone who shares my interest in this topic, and your conclusions bring me a lot of comfort.

"It makes sense that suicide could be a part of a 'contract' under some circumstances. But if a suicide were completed by someone who is reasonably healthy, loved by others, perhaps has children to look after but just has a totally flippant attitude towards life, that could cause a lot of suffering and violate whatever agreements we had prior to birth."

I agree. I would imagine that a scenario like the one you described would be received and treated differently than a genuinely sick, troubled, abandoned individual who honestly didn't feel they had any other choice.

And I also agree, and many experience-ers have confirmed, that everyone's experience and how their crossing over will be handled is decided on a case by case basis.

 

[StevieNixs]

I like this idea of an "afterlife"

 

[toforigivelife]

Here is the full interview with Peter Panagore.

If you skip to 58:02 - this a very long interview, lol! - he shares his views, or what is experience and subsequent experiences, taught him about suicide.

Pastor Panagore is not advocating for suicide or recommending that people commit suicide, even though he was truthful in the other video that he is not exactly happy that he decided to return to this life, but his thoughts on suicide are interesting and confirm what others have said - no, you don't go to hell for committing suicide, there's no special punishment for those who end their lives, etc.

His comments and a philosophy he learned from an indigenous tribe can be found at 58:02.

 

[Mytimehascome]

Hmm... I do not know if its a near-death experience but when I tried the exit bag with butane method, I passed out for like 5-10mins. However in that moment, even though my vision was dark, I see a psychedelic kaleidoscope-like image paired with a throbbing headache and then I woke up. If what I felt was really a near-death experience, What I can say as positive is being able to see trippy stuff. The negative though is the intense headache. I really dont

know. Maybe was just high from the butane.

What are the benefits of using butane over nitrogen? Excuse my ignorance but i was going to use the exitbag with nitrogen and was just curious what went in to your decision?

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Near death has absolutely nothing to do with death, as indicated by the name. You have not been on the other side when your are able to come back from deep unconsciousness as the other side is per definition a realm of no return. If you want to know about after life a ouija board is probably a more promising approach. But after years of scientific research on spiritism it seems to be fake and wishful thinking. So, if it is impossible to get any information from the other side it may well be assumed that there is no after life.

Based on my personal experiences I believe that I experience the reassembly of my consciousness.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Near death has absolutely nothing to do with death, as indicated by the name. You have not been on the other side when your are able to come back from deep unconsciousness as the other side is per definition a realm of no return. If you want to know about after life a ouija board is probably a more promising approach. But after years of scientific research on spiritism it seems to be fake and wishful thinking. So, if it is impossible to get any information from the other side it may well be assumed that there is no after life.

Based on my personal experiences I believe that I experience the reassembly of my consciousness.

How do you know it is not the closest thing to experiencing what death is like or at least the final stages of what consciousness go through right before nothingness from death steps in ?
I dont know if it is wishful thinking or a confirmation bias but the themes like universal all encompassing love, limitless pure consciousness, telepathy, life review i hear over and over from NDE stories are really quite consistent and they resonate with me as being logical to what I would consider as the proper way to end someone's live. Just before we are about to become nothing, we are liberated from our bodies, we experience our limitlessness, love and oneness with the source of it all, shown our whole life and what its purpose and then we are let to voluntarily choose to move on into nothing. Something about that scenario feels just so resonant to me as being what truly happens in our last moments and im sure to alot of people too.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Although not based on actual experience, I believe what I have learned from my Older Members (I'm always interested in new insights and accept that my understanding is not complete).

After death, invdividuals find themselves in a discarnate condition, potentially for an extended period of time. In this condition they will experience what they believed would happen at the point of death, but will either eventually re-incarnate, or possibly be convinced to join deceptive spirits of the opposition who might tell the soul in question that they are taking them to "heaven", which these extraterrestrial beings will try in their war for souls. The Next Level or Evolutionary Level Above Human can "save" a soul and set it aside for when the time is right for it to re-incarnate and continue it's lessons. That is highly dependent on how awakened a soul is, how much truth / desire for truth is in it, and how much they have overcome (by Their standards, not ours). This is the best outcome, imho.

In the discarnate state, an individual who has strong attachments to this world or anything in it will fulfill it's desires by "time-sharing" with the living who meet the criteria; basically, as an influence, possibly serving as a guardian angel of sorts to family. Breaking this cycle of death / rebirth requires cutting all ties to human-mammalian behavior, addictions, habits, attachments to people, family, places, careers, sensuality, reproduction - everything of this world. This transition cannot be done on ones own and requires a member of the true evolutionary level above human to be physically incarnate and lead you through the process, serving as a "mid-wife" to those moving up the evolutionary ladder. It doesn't matter if we miss out on such an experience because of wrong time / place, because the desire to overcome and get out of here will eventually find us in the right circumstances, whether in this life or another.

I don't share this view to upset anyone who would prefer to just cease existing altogether or have eternal respite of some sort. I know that the last thing people who are suffering want is to have even more burdens placed on them. As much as I want finality and fulfillment of all my desires, I am strangely comfortable with these beliefs. I've already had them called "batshit insane" on here, so feel free to do so :)

 

[fox_wannabe]

One source (Home With God by Neale Donald Walsch) even claims that people who fail to live out their natural lives (accidents, etc. count as natural death as they are not really accidents from a higher perspective) will have to be reborn into the same lifetime. That one scared me out of CTB for years, as starting over this lifetime would be far worse than hell. Still, when the body feels uninhabitable, CTB is natural and unavoidable. I don't have a final answer but welcome all research.

Have you researched soul trap? I do not like any of that cosmic school crap
At the end, maybe the only school was to realize that having a body wasn't such a good idea after all.

Breaking this cycle of death / rebirth requires cutting all ties to human-mammalian behavior, addictions, habits, attachments to people, family, places, careers, sensuality, reproduction - everything of this world. This transition cannot be done on ones own and requires a member of the true evolutionary level above human to be physically incarnate and lead you through the process, serving as a "mid-wife" to those moving up the evolutionary ladder.

Warning! Extreme suicide Fuel! I respect your will not to read it, if you feel you want to stay here, or need to stay here. You have my compassion.

Maybe It is right. I do not know. It is true that animal behavior is 99.99% of our daily drives and what makes us want to live, that is why when you see through the game it is very hard not to contemplate suicide. Sex and sexual drive is the root cause of all striving, reproduction is meta.
Other one is survival, it is what makes us seek enlightenment and desire an immutable indestructible self or soul, It is the essence of all spirituality the survive of the self. It is heartless to say that but in the end our disappearance will redeem us from the sin we were born into.
Other one is avoidance of pain which is caused by the latter survival instinct. It makes us want to die in order to avoid pain, because pain is worse than death. If pain wasn't worse than death we wouldn't be afraid to die If it wasn't for terrible pain that accompanies death. Worse yet, pain and suffering is very essence of existence, It drives us like terrain shape drives the water stream. We constantly strive to lower the pain and minimize it. In that sense we are the water, striving to reach minimal pain state with minimum effort. Endorphins cause us not to feel pain. That is why working out is important: it raises endorphins making us not feel pain.

This world is no good. It is:
-satanic
(carbon based life forms- carbon atom has 6 electrons, 6 protons - 6 neutrons, world is tilted 66.6 degree to the sun plane. 666 is mark of the beast.),
-disgusting
( look at sex without passion, look how ugly birth is, so many liquids ewwwww, eating? pooping? munching? sweat?)
-boring and repetitive
(8 billion people and all of them here are for the same shit that adds up to nothing. If loosing virginity in men, and having baby for woman is so societally important, why does it add up to jack shit?)
-deluded and addictive
And this is the Big one. We constantly look for better tomorrow that never comes for us. Marriage, sex, kids, second house, dopamine, reason I am still alive is that I want to feel one more dopamine hit before I go. We are literally addicted to life. Pro lifers are like a bunch of drunks, drinking away every penny, while stopping their friend from becoming free from addiction. Life IS addictive, once imposed it HAS to be maintained by the use of emotion inducing chemicals one cannot control. These chemicals that make the consciousness endure suffering are steering "free will" in order for it to maintain itself. The mind neurotransmitters are the guards of the flesh prison. One cannot simply decide not to feel hunger, lust, pain, abandonment, attraction etc. These are chemically imposed reactions on the human consciousness.

If I am somehow even in miniscule part responsible for that I am sorry. I love you all, but not as humans I love you as consciousness, and I have deep compassion for you all that you have to serve this sentence with me. I also do not blame sentience behind my prosecutors meaning, parents. Even though if anybody comes to me with more of that life is good attitude, their ego will be crushed not only because their view is false but also because of my own animalistic way of justice by revenge.

I think I will read book because I am addict and I cannot bring myself to die
"book is suicide postponed" -Cioran

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

I have been hanged until passing out many times by a partner. When I come back I always come from a completely different situation, very profane, not mystic at all but much more like reality than a dream. I was together with people who I only know on the other side and I was very busy with something related to my job. It was somehow compulsive as if the other didn´t want me to go. One might think, that I really was in Hel for a short period of time. But this must be an illusion for the following reasons:
When the energy supply of our brain is disconnected (no blood to the brain) it enters its energy saving mode, we pass out. Dreams and visions are very power consuming so there will by nothing like that as long as the blood flow to the brain is blocked. When I am lying on the ground after the hanging I am still unconscious for some seconds and during this time I have those visions.
My visions are not that mystic like others because I am a profane guy.

How do you know it is not the closest thing to experiencing what death is like or at least the final stages of what consciousness go through right before nothingness from death steps in ?
I dont know if it is wishful thinking or a confirmation bias but the themes like universal all encompassing love, limitless pure consciousness, telepathy, life review i hear over and over from NDE stories are really quite consistent and they resonate with me as being logical to what I would consider as the proper way to end someone's live. Just before we are about to become nothing, we are liberated from our bodies, we experience our limitlessness, love and oneness with the source of it all, shown our whole life and what its purpose and then we are let to voluntarily choose to move on into nothing. Something about that scenario feels just so resonant to me as being what truly happens in our last moments and im sure to alot of people too.

 

[-FrozenRobot-]

I think I'm qualified to answer this because I attempted to CTB on 3rd February by partial hanging. I passed out within seconds but I forgot to lock my door. So my parents found me and I was taken to the hospital.
Here is your answer.... "I remember people carrying me from my room, down the stairs into an ambulance. My mom and dad were holding my head since it kept falling down. I was drooling all over and I was weak in my legs. I'm extremely sensitive to needles so once at the hospital when they were injecting me I wiggled and squirmed. People had to hold me down. Note that I had zero motor control. After that I was out for what seemed like 5 hours. I occasionally woke up and passed out. It kept happening a lot of times. I felt a sharp pain in my neck. I woke up in the morning. I felt control over my body. I tried to get up but the nurse asked me not to strain"
That's what happend for me. That was like my 7th attempt after a long line of overdosing on paracetamol, covering my face with plastic bag, cutting and even starving with dehydration.
I believe what happens after you pass out is unique for everyone and depends on what stage you are at.

 

[Pluto]

I believe what happens after you pass out is unique for everyone and depends on what stage you are at.

Sorry you went through this.

Regarding NDEs, I have read the statistic that about 15% of the time when someone is 'technically dead', an NDE results. So most near-death events are not accompanied by an experience.

For those who are skeptical, keep in mind that it is quite a common thing for people to emerge from NDEs and to be able to recite conversations that took place in other rooms while they were dead, or to be able to navigate places where they have never physically been. These events have been verified by medical professionals countless times, though often they keep quiet for fear of being stigmatised.

It's like climate change debates; once a certain amount of evidence is there, conversation should progress beyond merely being skeptical of the premise.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Have you researched soul trap? I do not like any of that cosmic school crap
At the end, maybe the only school was to realize that having a body wasn't such a good idea after all.


Warning! Extreme suicide Fuel! I respect your will not to read it, if you feel you want to stay here, or need to stay here. You have my compassion.

Maybe It is right. I do not know. It is true that animal behavior is 99.99% of our daily drives and what makes us want to live, that is why when you see through the game it is very hard not to contemplate suicide. Sex and sexual drive is the root cause of all striving, reproduction is meta.
Other one is survival, it is what makes us seek enlightenment and desire an immutable indestructible self or soul, It is the essence of all spirituality the survive of the self. It is heartless to say that but in the end our disappearance will redeem us from the sin we were born into.
Other one is avoidance of pain which is caused by the latter survival instinct. It makes us want to die in order to avoid pain, because pain is worse than death. If pain wasn't worse than death we wouldn't be afraid to die If it wasn't for terrible pain that accompanies death. Worse yet, pain and suffering is very essence of existence, It drives us like terrain shape drives the water stream. We constantly strive to lower the pain and minimize it. In that sense we are the water, striving to reach minimal pain state with minimum effort. Endorphins cause us not to feel pain. That is why working out is important: it raises endorphins making us not feel pain.

This world is no good. It is:
-satanic
(carbon based life forms- carbon atom has 6 electrons, 6 protons - 6 neutrons, world is tilted 66.6 degree to the sun plane. 666 is mark of the beast.),
-disgusting
( look at sex without passion, look how ugly birth is, so many liquids ewwwww, eating? pooping? munching? sweat?)
-boring and repetitive
(8 billion people and all of them here are for the same shit that adds up to nothing. If loosing virginity in men, and having baby for woman is so societally important, why does it add up to jack shit?)
-deluded and addictive
And this is the Big one. We constantly look for better tomorrow that never comes for us. Marriage, sex, kids, second house, dopamine, reason I am still alive is that I want to feel one more dopamine hit before I go. We are literally addicted to life. Pro lifers are like a bunch of drunks, drinking away every penny, while stopping their friend from becoming free from addiction. Life IS addictive, once imposed it HAS to be maintained by the use of emotion inducing chemicals one cannot control. These chemicals that make the consciousness endure suffering are steering "free will" in order for it to maintain itself. The mind neurotransmitters are the guards of the flesh prison. One cannot simply decide not to feel hunger, lust, pain, abandonment, attraction etc. These are chemically imposed reactions on the human consciousness.

If I am somehow even in miniscule part responsible for that I am sorry. I love you all, but not as humans I love you as consciousness, and I have deep compassion for you all that you have to serve this sentence with me. I also do not blame sentience behind my prosecutors meaning, parents. Even though if anybody comes to me with more of that life is good attitude, their ego will be crushed not only because their view is false but also because of my own animalistic way of justice by revenge.

I think I will read book because I am addict and I cannot bring myself to die
"book is suicide postponed" -Cioran

Thanks for the suicide fuel, I need it. All of this stuff checks out with me. The idea of being addicted to life strongly resonates with my own beliefs. It takes a lot of willpower to get the body under total control, and it is made worse by being bombarded by influences on a daily basis. We live in a fucked up world and each day is best spent preparing for the end.

 

[fox_wannabe]

"book is suicide postponed" -Cioran

Damn I sure was edgy one, looking at this old post.

Thanks for the suicide fuel, I need it. All of this stuff checks out with me. The idea of being addicted to life strongly resonates with my own beliefs. It takes a lot of willpower to get the body under total control, and it is made worse by being bombarded by influences on a daily basis. We live in a fucked up world and each day is best spent preparing for the end.

Hi, I am sorry. I see you are still online and active. Sorry to give you such bad rundown. How do you feel about It all now? I feel more at peace than I was, although I am still a bit annoyed, by all of this. I see you are quite right about lots of stuff. Tho I believe reincarnation itself is a trap and something to be avoided.

So did something change in your view? Did you try to find more info about all of this?

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Damn I sure was edgy one, looking at this old post.

Hi, I am sorry. I see you are still online and active. Sorry to give you such bad rundown. How do you feel about It all now? I feel more at peace than I was, although I am still a bit annoyed, by all of this. I see you are quite right about lots of stuff. Tho I believe reincarnation itself is a trap and something to be avoided.

So did something change in your view? Did you try to find more info about all of this?

All good. I don't view what you posted as something negative. I still pretty much believe in the same things, but haven't done much reading or watching as these day I feel tired all the time and can't focus. The idea of reincarnation doesn't appeal to me at all, and I would prefer never to return to this world. I certainly view it as a trap for those who are basically NPC's, as they will continually fail to recognize the nature of reality. My view on these is that when the planets cycle comes to an end, the Next Level would sort out those with potential for growth and those without, and wipe out the latter from existence. I have a huge backlog of stuff to watch, read and listen to. When I feel more lively I'll spend time on it, hopefully.

 

[downndone2]

When I was 9yrs old I clinged to life for a month. They kept telling my parents to expect me to die.
For all I know, it was the meds and sounds but I will never forget the covid images I saw at 9 years old, I was in a war hospital, people bloody with terrible wounds.
I am female, just seems I would have had images of fairytales vs a war hospital.
I sure hope there's a divine place in the sky we go. I have so many people I want to see and spend eternity with
I have only wanted to ctb for a few years. I feel like the nightmare I've lived is punishment enough
But I will say the fear of going to hell, waking up in this same nightmare or worse, or being stuck in some pergutory for years has added to reasons that I have not done it yet

 

[Pluto]

But I will say the fear of going to hell, waking up in this same nightmare or worse, or being stuck in some pergutory for years has added to reasons that I have not done it yet

There is no afterlife hell, especially not as a permanent abode. Those myths can be traced to Roman manipulations of early Christian theology. Meanwhile, there have been reports of people getting stuck in the 'void', but that is caused by them being unwilling to go towards the light for whatever reason.

It's sometimes reported by NDE experiencers that we have agreement to see through this lifetime and its work, which implies another attempt will be made until it is complete. But if pain levels are ridiculous, any reasonable person would CTB. We can only do our best.

 

[its-about-time]

This was interesting. This man's name is Peter Panagore. He had a near death experience and openly admits that he regrets deciding to come back rather than stay on the other side.

He is a spiritual person, he is a respected pastor and admits he only remains alive out of a sense of obligation to others and that he'd really like to "go home".

Obviously I appreciated his honesty and I'm glad that a man of faith had the guts to admit that life is not a gift and didn't blather about his glorious it was to return to this life.




A lot of people who have had near death experiences no longer consider themselves to be religious, they prefer to call themselves spiritual, they state that there is no one true religion, just one source, that we're all in this together, we're all connected and that everyone gets into heaven, even those who die by suicide and that the "source" or the "creator" is not a punishing entity who keeps track of your every misdeed and understands the complexities of life in this world and the complexities of being human a lot better than we think this source or creator does.

I like this

 

[Shu]

Although not based on actual experience, I believe what I have learned from my Older Members (I'm always interested in new insights and accept that my understanding is not complete).

After death, invdividuals find themselves in a discarnate condition, potentially for an extended period of time. In this condition they will experience what they believed would happen at the point of death, but will either eventually re-incarnate, or possibly be convinced to join deceptive spirits of the opposition who might tell the soul in question that they are taking them to "heaven", which these extraterrestrial beings will try in their war for souls. The Next Level or Evolutionary Level Above Human can "save" a soul and set it aside for when the time is right for it to re-incarnate and continue it's lessons. That is highly dependent on how awakened a soul is, how much truth / desire for truth is in it, and how much they have overcome (by Their standards, not ours). This is the best outcome, imho.

In the discarnate state, an individual who has strong attachments to this world or anything in it will fulfill it's desires by "time-sharing" with the living who meet the criteria; basically, as an influence, possibly serving as a guardian angel of sorts to family. Breaking this cycle of death / rebirth requires cutting all ties to human-mammalian behavior, addictions, habits, attachments to people, family, places, careers, sensuality, reproduction - everything of this world. This transition cannot be done on ones own and requires a member of the true evolutionary level above human to be physically incarnate and lead you through the process, serving as a "mid-wife" to those moving up the evolutionary ladder. It doesn't matter if we miss out on such an experience because of wrong time / place, because the desire to overcome and get out of here will eventually find us in the right circumstances, whether in this life or another.

I don't share this view to upset anyone who would prefer to just cease existing altogether or have eternal respite of some sort. I know that the last thing people who are suffering want is to have even more burdens placed on them. As much as I want finality and fulfillment of all my desires, I am strangely comfortable with these beliefs. I've already had them called "batshit insane" on here, so feel free to do so :)

 

[Shu]

Although not based on actual experience, I believe what I have learned from my Older Members (I'm always interested in new insights and accept that my understanding is not complete).

After death, invdividuals find themselves in a discarnate condition, potentially for an extended period of time. In this condition they will experience what they believed would happen at the point of death, but will either eventually re-incarnate, or possibly be convinced to join deceptive spirits of the opposition who might tell the soul in question that they are taking them to "heaven", which these extraterrestrial beings will try in their war for souls. The Next Level or Evolutionary Level Above Human can "save" a soul and set it aside for when the time is right for it to re-incarnate and continue it's lessons. That is highly dependent on how awakened a soul is, how much truth / desire for truth is in it, and how much they have overcome (by Their standards, not ours). This is the best outcome, imho.

In the discarnate state, an individual who has strong attachments to this world or anything in it will fulfill it's desires by "time-sharing" with the living who meet the criteria; basically, as an influence, possibly serving as a guardian angel of sorts to family. Breaking this cycle of death / rebirth requires cutting all ties to human-mammalian behavior, addictions, habits, attachments to people, family, places, careers, sensuality, reproduction - everything of this world. This transition cannot be done on ones own and requires a member of the true evolutionary level above human to be physically incarnate and lead you through the process, serving as a "mid-wife" to those moving up the evolutionary ladder. It doesn't matter if we miss out on such an experience because of wrong time / place, because the desire to overcome and get out of here will eventually find us in the right circumstances, whether in this life or another.

I don't share this view to upset anyone who would prefer to just cease existing altogether or have eternal respite of some sort. I know that the last thing people who are suffering want is to have even more burdens placed on them. As much as I want finality and fulfillment of all my desires, I am strangely comfortable with these beliefs. I've already had them called "batshit insane" on here, so feel free to do so :)

I feel this.