Hi. This is my first post. I've been a long time member and have been very much helped by what is written here. It's seems the only place to go when I really want to ctb.
I'm 46 guy from Europe. Been living abroad in Asia for 10 years now. I grew up in a highly abusive narc family, mother primary abuser, father secondary. Estranged for 2 years now, thank god.
Life has been blessed but also a huge struggle. Anxiety is my killer. And I have got to the stage now where life is continually one terrifying event after another. It doesn't seem to stop and I can't take it anymore.
I had 2 failed partial hanging attempts 7 years ago. I don't know why I couldn't pass out. I tried again just now as I've had enough. I used a 2m electric cable, and positioned a rolled up scarf around my neck so the rolled parts were either side of the Adams apple, pressing on the arteries. I used a basic noose knot.
I let my weight rest strongly only the cable and it pressed hard into either side of my Adams apple. I waited. I could feel the pulse hard. A waited a few minutes. I didn't pass out.
I don't know why. Is this a case of I'm not high enough so there's not enough weight? Or is the ligature pressing in the wrong place? Do I just need to try for longer or keep trying the ligature pressure in different places?
As I said, I'm 46. I've really done the best I can in life but I just can't take anymore. So I really need out.
Jim
I'm 46 guy from Europe. Been living abroad in Asia for 10 years now. I grew up in a highly abusive narc family, mother primary abuser, father secondary. Estranged for 2 years now, thank god.
Life has been blessed but also a huge struggle. Anxiety is my killer. And I have got to the stage now where life is continually one terrifying event after another. It doesn't seem to stop and I can't take it anymore.
I had 2 failed partial hanging attempts 7 years ago. I don't know why I couldn't pass out. I tried again just now as I've had enough. I used a 2m electric cable, and positioned a rolled up scarf around my neck so the rolled parts were either side of the Adams apple, pressing on the arteries. I used a basic noose knot.
I let my weight rest strongly only the cable and it pressed hard into either side of my Adams apple. I waited. I could feel the pulse hard. A waited a few minutes. I didn't pass out.
I don't know why. Is this a case of I'm not high enough so there's not enough weight? Or is the ligature pressing in the wrong place? Do I just need to try for longer or keep trying the ligature pressure in different places?
As I said, I'm 46. I've really done the best I can in life but I just can't take anymore. So I really need out.
Jim
