Venting attempt failed because of my own stupidity

[Kurwa-_-jeden]

I tried ending it all last night, got my carotid arteries pinned down. Plan was simple, wrap zipties around my neck and hope for unconsciousness. A few minutes of 'maybe I shouldn't', the usual.
Decided to try and actually kill myself, tried to fasten the zipties, and guess what my fucking brainlet ass found out? The zipties I'm using won't fucking fasten. They fit perfectly around my neck, and that's my FUCKING issue.


HOW FUCKING STUPID DO I HAVE TO BE TO MISJUDGE SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!

I tried for a good twenty minutes before I completely broke down.
I honestly want to bash my head against a wall. Do I still count this as a failed attempt or do I just forget about this?
(Okay, looking back on it now, i feel like part of why I couldn't fasten the zipties is because of SI. My hands didn't want to move. I still feel like a moron. I don't understand why, everytime I try to do something right, everything goes fucking wrong. I should've just stabbed myself in the neck. Pussy ass bitch.)

 

[PI3.14]

I don't think zipties can ever exert enough pressure tbh. So, even if you were able to fasten them, nothing will happen, probably.

 

[setspiritfree]

I tried ending it all last night, got my carotid arteries pinned down. Plan was simple, wrap zipties around my neck and hope for unconsciousness. A few minutes of 'maybe I shouldn't', the usual.
Decided to try and actually kill myself, tried to fasten the zipties, and guess what my fucking brainlet ass found out? The zipties I'm using won't fucking fasten. They fit perfectly around my neck, and that's my FUCKING issue.


HOW FUCKING STUPID DO I HAVE TO BE TO MISJUDGE SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!

I tried for a good twenty minutes before I completely broke down.
I honestly want to bash my head against a wall. Do I still count this as a failed attempt or do I just forget about this?
(Okay, looking back on it now, i feel like part of why I couldn't fasten the zipties is because of SI. My hands didn't want to move. I still feel like a moron. I don't understand why, everytime I try to do something right, everything goes fucking wrong. I should've just stabbed myself in the neck. Pussy ass bitch.)

Don't beat yourself up man. I am struggling too. You are not alone in that I can guarantee