trapped in a body that isnt mine
Mar 5, 2023
Im an atheist (though sometimes my mania decides otherwise lol) but i have been suicidal for years. i dislike the thought of death exactly because its well… permanent and boring i guess? knowing to myself that im only conscious because of my brain, when im dead my brain will shut down and eventually rot. i wont exist again which has me in a weird spot where i want to die but it makes me mad to think i will just disappear into the earth at one point. in a long time nobody will remember me and i wont be able to do things anymore i enjoy. its odd but i dont know if i want to die if theres nothing after death.


I only deserve to suffer
Mar 10, 2023
Death sounds so peaceful. Not being conscious anymore is not being able to suffer furthermore. Knowing I will just sleep for eternity is such a relief


Sep 28, 2022
i agree with mimi, death is good because you wont have to suffer anymore, life is suffering and bad. Death is just natural and neutral like before you were born. It will happen anyway nothing we can do but try to look at the positives of it.


Jul 29, 2021
being faced with a dilemma that only affords a choice between two unpleasant alternatives. death now or death later on, damned if you do kill your self damned if you don't kill your self


Mar 8, 2023
I think we're hardwired to be afraid of death. It doesn't contradict being suicidal because a lot of people would want to live if their life was happy. A lot of the people here are suffering everyday to the point where we question if it's even worth it to keep living, or is the pain too much. It's kind of like jumping off a burning building. There's no good option because staying alive is worse than death for those who go through with it. Although I think by virtue of being on this forum people understand already and have compassion. I can kind of relate to what you are saying OP. Because at times I want to die but I don't like the thought of actually dying. And also for me it's not that bad where I would rather do it than just deal with the pain and I have a bit of hope that things will get better. Also if I did it I would uniquely fuck over an individual that I love very much. That being said sometimes I regret not doing it sooner. Also it's ok if you're weirded out by the thought of an unknown void and what that would mean. I can't imagine it and I don't think anyone can so it's confusing to think about. I don't think it would be boring though because you can't feel bored.


"Wake up to reality, nothing ever goes as planned"
Sep 30, 2022
Well. It's not like you would experience anything in this scenario. So, it cant be boring.
Gustav Hartmann

Gustav Hartmann

Aug 28, 2021
You don´t know if you want to die if there is nothing after death? You will definitely die, no matter if there is a nothing after death or not. Suicide gives you only the chnace to shorten your lifespan to a greater or lesser extend but it does not change anyting fundamentally.


She dreams of eternal sleep
Sep 24, 2020
Well, I personally love the sound of permanent non existence. It sounds so beautiful to me never being able to experience anything ever again, to me life really is something so disgusting and useless, this world is hell and existing just leads to unnecessary suffering and harm. Suicide is self care to me, as it’s the way to take control and prevent the inevitable deterioration from age, nobody can be harmed by not existing as none of us will be there at that point. There is simply nothing for all eternity and I always view it as being preferable to not exist.


Oct 1, 2022
do you dislike sleeping? are you happy while you sleep? do you feel sad sleeping? get bored while sleeping?