At what aging stage you became depressed? (Poll)

[spanishguy22]

I'm curious at what age depressed people here had their first encounter with depression.

 

[JadedGray]

I've probably always been depressed, my parents had me seeing a therapist at 3 years old, but it didn't become unbearable/constant until I was about 9. So I selected childhood to pre-puberty, even though I tried to make my first attempt at 7, but it wasn't realistic.

 

[TAW122]

I didn't start to become depressed until maybe late into middle school where bullying became a big problem and my relationships with my parents are in the shitter.

 

[Mbound]

I was born this way (but not like the upbeat lady gaga song lmao)

My family was amazing, no abuse, but a kind of empty melancholy became my default state before I was even 5. I remember almost taking comfort in it because it felt so familiar. That horrible "bricks sitting on your chest" feeling would come on and I'd settle into it. This is also when the feelings of isolation and unworthiness cropped up. I can only assume it's biological given my family's......not so great history with this sort of stuff. And the physical health issues that have plagued me for just as long.

I never stood a chance.

 

[Kringle's Curse]

When I was 15-16 I was hit hard with depression. I'm 28 now and it's back. Just wish I had the balls to hang myself.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm curious at what age depressed people here had their first encounter with depression.

When I was 15-16 I was hit hard with depression. I'm 28 now and it's back. Just wish I had the balls to hang myself.

I think it was childhood but I didn't know what it was. Definitely in my teens.

 

[uiop]

Fantasied about killing myself since I was 12. Everything just got worse last year for reasons I don't understand. I'm 28 now.

 

[martha]

There has always been a hint of melancholy in our family.

My mommy suffering from bipolar depression, making several suicide attempts, that I was witnessing as a child.
You should definitely not watch someone, you love to the deepest, slicing her wrists, when you are 5 years old.
Not to be recommended.
This is why I still don´t really fancy bloody ways of suicide.
I tried to mop up after her, while dad took her to hospital. Could not lift the bucket to the sink though, bc I was too small.

I was never exactly bullied at school.
Was the quiet child with excellent manners, nose in the books and never wanted to attract anyone´s attention.
Because I felt guilty, for what my mum did. Children act like this, they think, they have been naughty, when their parents fail.

My first serious suicide attempt was at the age of 19, when I had trouble with my boy and at university.
Interesting, tried to cut my wrists aswell, knew well how it seemed to work, but still was an amateur
Went to psych ward, they got me out after three days, said the diagnose was "broken home".

Mum got furious, when she heard that.

 

[Bärchen]

I think at 17 or 18 after a girl broke my heart, after that i isolate me from everthing except work. Tried a few things every two years but it always got worse. From 26 to the beginning of the year it was alright, only hat suicide thoughts every now and then. Isolating, work, cats and videogames works wonders but it wont work forever. Two months ago i started liking a woman at work and all the thoughts came back.
I wish i had off button for feelings, except for my cats ;)

 

[martha]

Isolating, work, cats and videogames works wonders but it wont work forever. .......
I wish i had off button for feelings, except for my cats ;)

work works, but cats work at the best
animals can read feelings, that´s why they always use them in good rehabs

The 1975's Matty Healy on how therapy with a horse in rehab helped him kick heroin

The 1975 frontman Matty Healy has discussed how equine therapy helped him to beat his heroin habit during a stint in rehab ahead of the band's new album.

www.nme.com

 

[Marz]

At 11. I was always angry and felt agony almost all of the time. It got worse at 12 and by the time I turned 13 I knew it was depression. Triggered mainly by family issues and hormonal imbalances.

 

[8yy8uiyhbij]

I got depressed at 15, however, I only feel like it actually reached mental depression when I turned 17 when I'd skip school due to it, and harm myself. Before that I felt like it may have been. But I honestly had no symptoms.

 

[spanishguy22]

What I could gather from the poll confirmed my suspicions and the scientific studies

I got depressed at at 15, however, I only feel like it actually reached mental depression when I turned 17 when I'd skip school due to it and harm myself. Before that I felt like it may have een but I honestly had no symptoms.

Same. 17 to 20 was when everything went downhill really quick

 

[-Link-]

It set in a couple years before puberty and has been with me ever since.

 

[8yy8uiyhbij]

What I could gather from the poll confirmed my suspicions and the scientific studies

Same. 17 to 20 was when everything went downhill really quick

Danke for replying. I think I may try tonight. However, I'm trying to find out if I can mix bleach with alcohol to get it down easy. Not found anything cause of the search engine censorship :/

 

[Final Escape]

I've probably always been depressed, my parents had me seeing a therapist at 3 years old, but it didn't become unbearable/constant until I was about 9. So I selected childhood to pre-puberty, even though I tried to make my first attempt at 7, but it wasn't realistic.

Your parents is crazy, 3 yrs old in therapy jeez

 

[alizee]

In all honesty I think depression is a made up illness.

Medical practitioners are just abusing the psychological process of how humans interpret words existing and correlate it with reality; as depression must be a real illness because the word exists and is heavily used by doctors. People either get assigned a good life or a bad life at birth and the outcome will make the psych okay or miserable about existence.

edit: Also @JadedGray your parents are insane and I'm skeptical but maybe they might be responsible for what you think is depression. Unhealthy behaviour from parents can result in lasting effects and when it happened during developmental stages of childhood.

 

[JadedGray]

Your parents is crazy, 3 yrs old in therapy jeez

No argument there. It was more family therapy since we all were going, but the therapist would talk to us separately as well. I can actually still remember the therapist sitting me in front of a dollhouse asking me to reenact my life. I started getting individual therapy around 4 years old.

In all honesty I think depression is a made up illness.

Medical practitioners are just abusing the psychological process of how humans interpret words existing and correlate it with reality; as depression must be a real illness because the word exists and is heavily used by doctors. People either get assigned a good life or a bad life at birth and the outcome will make the psych okay or miserable about existence.

edit: Also @JadedGray your parents are insane and I'm skeptical but maybe they might be responsible for what you think is depression. Unhealthy behaviour from parents can result in lasting effects and when it happened during developmental stages of childhood.

Skeptical about what? I agree that they are partly responsible. Neither of them were in a healthy mindset to raise a child and should have dealt with their own demons instead of playing family and having a child as a bandaid.

 

[alizee]

No argument there. It was more family therapy since we all were going, but the therapist would talk to us separately as well. I can actually still remember the therapist sitting me in front of a dollhouse asking me to reenact my life. I started getting individual therapy around 4 years old.

Skeptical about what? I agree that they are partly responsible. Neither of them were in a healthy mindset to raise a child and should have dealt with their own demons instead of playing family and having a child as a bandaid.

I always have doubts in expressing my opinion concerning something like this subject because I rarely think its acceptable to make judgement about these things with certainty. I wasn't there to witness it or comprehend your life from your own outlook for the events of being forced into that situation. I'm thinking someone could have a positive impact from being brought to a therapist young and be grateful for it. In your case that didn't happen so maybe you being brought to a therapist shouldn't have happened or other factors were to blame for the negative outcome. I'm sad you experienced parents that had a child as a bandaid because that must mean they failed you a lot in life. Maybe they had shitty parents as well and placed too much faith in someone labeled a "professional" in how to living a happy life. Instead of just acting on what's necessary for a person to be happy and succeed in life.

 

[JadedGray]

I always have doubts in expressing my opinion concerning something like this subject because I rarely think its acceptable to make judgement about these things with certainty. I wasn't there to witness it or comprehend your life from your own outlook for the events of being forced into that situation. I'm thinking someone could have a positive impact from being brought to a therapist young and be grateful for it. In your case that didn't happen so maybe you being brought to a therapist shouldn't have happened or other factors were to blame for the negative outcome. I'm sad you experienced parents that had a child as a bandaid because that must mean they failed you a lot in life. Maybe they had shitty parents as well and placed too much faith in someone labeled a "professional" in how to living a happy life. Instead of just acting on what's necessary for a person to be happy and succeed in life.

Thank you for your kind words. By all means share your opinion, we're all here to do that. I think the main reason they had me in therapy wasn't because I was showing obvious signs of depression (that didn't start until I was 6 years old, when I wrote a story about suicide in school) but because they knew I was being raised in an unhealthy environment and wanted someone to explain why things were the way they were in a way that they couldn't and also for them to get help too (they both were depressed and suicidal). I think it was their way of making up for everything. They probably had good intentions and were just overwhelmed and needing guidance. My mother definitely had a bad upbringing. She was raised poor and her father was an abusive alcoholic. Her mother did the best she could having to raise her and her siblings pretty much on her own. My father didn't have a bad upbringing, but he seemed to be the black sheep of the family and didn't get along with them. He cut off all contact with his family before I was born and hasn't spoken to them in almost 30 years.

I agree that they had too much faith in medical professionals, like so many of us have.

 

[spanishguy22]

Danke for replying. I think I may try tonight. However, I'm trying to find out if I can mix bleach with alcohol to get it down easy. Not found anything cause of the search engine censorship :/

No! That's awful. It won't kill you you'll be in excruciating pain and call emergencies

 

[Josewantsaday]

I remember my parents taking me to the psychologist since I was born practically, can't recall a time in my early years that I wouldn't be in that therapist's office. but when I first started getting depressed and wanting to ctb was at 7/8 years old. I don't remember how or why it happened. I guess depression doesn't always has a reason to be there, it just happens. Later I opened up some repressed memories of childhood trauma and I understood everything lmao. I have vivid memories of me praying to god to kill me every night when I was so young. Didn't want to be alive then, and i don't want to be alive now, just that now I have reasons. Haha.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

This poll just backs up my previous statement about how people should have ctb when they first got depressed or suicidal because they clearly still are, like had I ctb when I was 14 I had been spared so much pain and suffering and it seems the majority feels the same just by looking at the polls.

 

[Begemont]

For me I can't really answer. I don't remember my early childhood well enough. I know it got unbearable enough that I made a half-hearted attempt doomed to failure when I was 10 (and to some degree I remember that one). So I suppose I must've been feeling pretty damn bad before even that. Although I'm also pretty sure I had a few decent years at least during early childhood. So I put early childhood, probably the closest to truth.

 

[spanishguy22]

I remember my parents taking me to the psychologist since I was born practically, can't recall a time in my early years that I wouldn't be in that therapist's office. but when I first started getting depressed and wanting to ctb was at 7/8 years old. I don't remember how or why it happened. I guess depression doesn't always has a reason to be there, it just happens. Later I opened up some repressed memories of childhood trauma and I understood everything lmao. I have vivid memories of me praying to god to kill me every night when I was so young. Didn't want to be alive then, and i don't want to be alive now, just that now I have reasons. Haha.

Our brain is total aids man...

 

[dyingtodie]

@
TheGoodGuy
If I hadn't lived past my first strong suicidal urges starting at 15 I wouldn't have lived til 31 and fulfilled many of my dreams. This fucks with me. Like I can totally see how I'm better off dead today. And I can go back to many times in my life where I felt I was at the very end and then something amazing happened maybe weeks or months later and my life transformed and I was happy again. Of course, I always got depressed again, and more deeply than before, but these became very 'spiritual' depressions where I felt very connected to God...and very alienated from the world. They were extremely valuable experiences. Since 15 I never ever thought I'd live til 30. Now I'm approaching 32, or 31...I'm not actually sure...which I think is a good sign...once the actual age is forgettable it means I'm in my old age years :) At this point I just can't imagine living another 6 months, or 1. '404 will to live not found error' - nice thumbnail

 

[Soul]

I put early childhood too. Apparently I stopped eating when I was like 2 weeks old, which is probably the best an infant can come up with to ctb. My mother has "post-partum psychosis" on her death certificate and of course that affected me as well.

But I want to emphasise that after my late 20s (and after multiple ctb attempts, hospitalisations, spells of clinical depression, etc) I somehow got properly engaged with life. I haven't been depressed since then, and have enjoyed quite a lot in life. I'm going to ctb but not because of depression.

 

[spanishguy22]

I put early childhood too. Apparently I stopped eating when I was like 2 weeks old, which is probably the best an infant can come up with to ctb. My mother has "post-partum psychosis" on her death certificate and of course that affected me as well.

But I want to emphasise that after my late 20s (and after multiple ctb attempts, hospitalisations, spells of clinical depression, etc) I somehow got properly engaged with life. I haven't been depressed since then, and have enjoyed quite a lot in life. I'm going to ctb but not because of depression.

My understanding is depression from childhood always lingers so it's hard for me to believe your depression isn't playing a role in ctb. It's just hard to believe, one thing you may be experiencing is a dysthymia or low level depression which simply makes life feel not good enough. Maybe that's why you want to ctb? Idk really, it's a supposition

 

[Weems]

In all honesty I think depression is a made up illness.

Medical practitioners are just abusing the psychological process of how humans interpret words existing and correlate it with reality; as depression must be a real illness because the word exists and is heavily used by doctors. People either get assigned a good life or a bad life at birth and the outcome will make the psych okay or miserable about existence.

edit: Also @JadedGray your parents are insane and I'm skeptical but maybe they might be responsible for what you think is depression. Unhealthy behaviour from parents can result in lasting effects and when it happened during developmental stages of childhood.

Yeah. It wasn't some "chemical imbalance" that made me humiliate myself all those times, never learn anything about the real world, withdraw into fantasy, and slack off until I was 30. Now I realize the horror of the life I've made for myself: no money, no degree, no friends (except old ones too nice to stop replying to occasional texts). Gimme the pill for THAT.

 

[Halo13]

I voted childhood to prepubertal. Got forced to see a shrink around age 7. Started seriously planning my death at age 10 but didn't know what I was doing (hanging). It has never gotten easier or better, only worse.