complexpalm

complexpalm

Member
Sep 29, 2023
15
It's ironic that just when I decide to make an account and try to find comfort with like-minded people I'm reminded of how much life can just stomp you down.

For context I am a nearly 30 enby with anxiety, depression, autism, and chronic health issues.
Back in March I moved in with my father to help after a medical incident. Emotional support, helping with bills, cooking, the whole nine yards. This resulted in very little time for me to sever my previous rental lease properly, and it left a mark on my rental history. I just didn't have adequate time or support to clean it as thoroughly as I would've liked.
My father is very…"pull yourself up by your bootstraps" and "my way or the highway". In short, he doesn't believe in depression or executive dysfunction, because in his words: "everyone goes through that." Ironic how sometimes it's hereditary. I've never disclosed to him my autism diagnosis because he just…doesn't believe it's a thing. As he's aged it's gotten worse. This mindset also applies to anyone LGBTQ+.

The most recent fight might be a long time coming, but only because I'm dealing with working full time, helping him out, paying for bills instead of saving up, and a ridiculous commute to my work on top of all the aforementioned things. He didn't like the things I was prioritizing, not understanding that I can only do so much with so many spoons, and it lead to a heated argument.
He's given me three months to figure a living space out. I told him I'd figure it out, and afterwards I want no further contact.

Due to helping with other financial issues relating to him, I'm basically broke and destitute trying to apply to apartments. Cost of living/renting in my area is pretty high, and everywhere requires some type of application fee. I also have to take into account my cats, and the fees that come with them.

Thanks for reading this far if you did. I'd understand if anyone didn't. At this point I don't really know what to do. I keep applying, our city's emergency housing service helped out with rent during Covid but can't now, I have no friends with room to stay with, and I'm kind of at the end of my rope. Why try? This year's been an insane kick in the ass, and I'm sick of trying to pretend like it isn't, or I have it all together. I've always been terrible at judging character or favors, but when it's family, and a parent who's supposed to support you unconditionally, it really fucking sucks. I don't know.

I really hope I find a way to survive in the next three months. If the deadline gets closer and I don't, then I'll make sure to find good homes for my cats before I CTB. I think that's the least I can do.

Sorry for the rant, but thanks for reading if you do.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: 710, Livingvsdying25, abcz and 1 other person
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,419
That must be really tiring what you are going through, it's dreadful how people have to suffer so much in this existence but anyway I wish you the best in whatever happens going forward.
 

Similar threads

XdragonsoulX
Replies
10
Views
493
Suicide Discussion
QteStimBnnuy
QteStimBnnuy
creirwy
Replies
9
Views
355
Offtopic
huzzahhue56
H
clementinemure
Replies
2
Views
204
Suicide Discussion
nohopenolife
N
J
Replies
7
Views
189
Suicide Discussion
Tesha
Tesha
I
Replies
7
Views
570
Suicide Discussion
nasigoreng99
N