At home or in a hotel?

[hikkatyan]

I really want to have a CTB soon. But I can't decide what's best. I live with my parents, and I love them madly, I don't want to hurt them, I don't want them to find my body in my bed. (I often joke about suicide, so my mother once jokingly replied, "Don't do it at home, we can't live in this house." And I understand that this is truly the most terrible thing.) But I really want to die in a comfortable environment, it's more peaceful within my own home. And since I hardly leave the house, I'm not sure I have the strength to rent a hotel room. I don't know what to do, I'm in so much pain, I can't stand it anymore.
And I'm so worried, because my father's birthday is coming up soon. Is a month or so difference enough so that his birthday won't be associated with his daughter's death?
I'm so pathetic

 

[meddle]

thats a really hard question, buddy. only you can answer this question for yourself

as for me, i would choose hotel. at least i hope that i would have guts to choose hotel. i really want to die in my room too, but i will be gone and it wont matter for me. but my family will stay and it will matter for them

 

[cbtvvxxvvv]

totally get wanting to ctb in a place you know and are comfortable in. living with your parents though, that will traumatize them greatly. they'll never look at the house the same knowing their precious child ended it here. i'd recommend a hotel. maybe rent one for 1-3 days and turn it into a nice lil habitat for yourself. like a nest of comfort of some kind. get cozy there, make it yours, and then when it's finally time you are in an environment that is comfortable and there is no stress they will walk in on you. also you won't caught in a hotel whereas living at their house your plan could be short lived if they catch you in the act

 

[thelostautistic]

You're not pathetic at all. I feel the same way. I want to be at home when I go but I can't stand the idea of a family member finding me. So hotel it is

 

[girlwhosoldtheworld]

I really want to have a CTB soon. But I can't decide what's best. I live with my parents, and I love them madly, I don't want to hurt them, I don't want them to find my body in my bed. (I often joke about suicide, so my mother once jokingly replied, "Don't do it at home, we can't live in this house." And I understand that this is truly the most terrible thing.) But I really want to die in a comfortable environment, it's more peaceful within my own home. And since I hardly leave the house, I'm not sure I have the strength to rent a hotel room. I don't know what to do, I'm in so much pain, I can't stand it anymore.
And I'm so worried, because my father's birthday is coming up soon. Is a month or so difference enough so that his birthday won't be associated with his daughter's death?
I'm so pathetic

wow, my mom said the exact same thing to me, small world right? is that how that saying goes? anyways, i'd urge you to gather as much energy as you can to rent a hotel room if you really want to abide by your mother's wishes, reminding yourself that it'll all be over soon might help. on the other hand, don't push yourself if you really can't do it, it's not like you'll be responsible for whatever comes after your death anyways (as cruel as that sounds)

 

[knowledgeseeking]

A hotel room would be easier on your parents. The image of finding you will stick in their minds forever. I know it's not a nice thing to do to the hotel staff, but they will have an easier time getting over it than your parents.

 

[chudpolonais]

albeit I plan on jumping under a train, if anything I'd much rather do it at home, it's much cheaper