Venting Ask the universe for a sign to kill myself and I got it

[UninformedLover]

Title. A few days ago I was in my kitchen feeling like shit and I asked the universe if I should kill myself please show me a yellow butterfly. Well today I was on reddit and saw a video of a yellow butterfly.

I should probably be happy but honestly I just feel like shit even more. Like how awful am I that even the universe wants me to kill myself? Maybe that's why my life is so shit now.

And this isn't even the first time this has happened. A few years ago I asked the same thing and recieved the specific sign I asked for. I guess maybe I was just hoping that I wouldn't see the sign so I could have something...anything to hang on too but...I dunno I'm just so over it. It's been getting progessively worst this last month. I barely get out of bed, exhausted all day, no job, shit parents, etc etc. And I got into a huge arguement with my stupid therapist recently so I'm not getting professional help anymore. Was shopping for a new therapist but it's actually difficult asf. I'm done. If the universe wants me to kill myself then it won. I will. I don't know what else to do. I did everything right. I got a therapist, I took the medication, I try to do the coping methods and its still the same.

 

[bankai]

If the universe really wanted you dead, it would kill you.There are a plethora of ways in which it would achieve that. Only you get to decide if you want to take yourself out.

 

[moya117]

im sorry that happen to you, it must feel like shit. i personally dont believe such thing that the universe can send some message like that, and like the person above said, if the universe really wants you dead that it send you a sign two times, i dont think you're gonna be here, why would a universe want you to specifically off you yourself, it can just do it alone

 

[rs929]

Sounds like attention bias. You paid attention to the butterfly because of what you thought before, possibly ignoring evidence that the universe is not magically answering you.
I suggest you buy a lottery ticket. Then ask the universe to make you win the lottery if you should be dead. If you don't win, you have evidence against the idea the universe is communicating with you. If you win, you tell the universe to gtfo and enjoy your money :)
I have OCD so I'm used to that kind of stuff. It sucks.

 

[Hollowman]

The universe doesn't give a shit. It was just a coincidence.

 

[Dejected 55]

I would be afraid to ask the universe of a sign of my worthlessness and need to die, because moments later a parade would march in front of my house with all the signs.

 

[katara]

That's interesting, you make me want to try doing this. I have been wanting to slowly work on getting out of here. I also do not have energy and am tired a lot on top of that my only family member I'm in contact with (my mom) doesnt care. I have no job so I have no way of making it in life. I'm not really interested in anything. I went through meds in therapy as a teen now I'm in my 20s and things are worse. therapy was a waste a time usually they just want money especially if you are in USA. I'm really sorry you are going through this. If you ever want to talk I'm here. I'm struggling a lot trying to get the energy to get out of here bc every day it's hell. I feel sick, I feel like this world hates me. I have nobody who cares about me, not even online. i think for some of us we were screwed bc we didn't get the same opportunities others do. I have no hobbies and never really have. I have no money, no relationships, nothing. You can't be doing worse than me. I didn't even finish high school. You sound like you've tried, so you deserve to at least have some sort of happiness in your life. Again I'm really sorry about all of this. You took meds, you went to therapy, don't feel bad bc looking at the age on your account, I can tell you've tried making improvements.

 

[telekon]

Title. A few days ago I was in my kitchen feeling like shit and I asked the universe if I should kill myself please show me a yellow butterfly. Well today I was on reddit and saw a video of a yellow butterfly.

I should probably be happy but honestly I just feel like shit even more. Like how awful am I that even the universe wants me to kill myself? Maybe that's why my life is so shit now.

And this isn't even the first time this has happened. A few years ago I asked the same thing and recieved the specific sign I asked for. I guess maybe I was just hoping that I wouldn't see the sign so I could have something...anything to hang on too but...I dunno I'm just so over it. It's been getting progessively worst this last month. I barely get out of bed, exhausted all day, no job, shit parents, etc etc. And I got into a huge arguement with my stupid therapist recently so I'm not getting professional help anymore. Was shopping for a new therapist but it's actually difficult asf. I'm done. If the universe wants me to kill myself then it won. I will. I don't know what else to do. I did everything right. I got a therapist, I took the medication, I try to do the coping methods and its still the same.

I'm pretty sure the universe hates all humans so don't feel singled out or anything

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm pretty sure the universe hates all humans so don't feel singled out or anything

Stop personifying the universe. The universe isn't a living being capable of feeling shit. The OP came across a coincidence and interpreted it as meaning something more than it does.

 

[lifeisbutadream]

Title. A few days ago I was in my kitchen feeling like shit and I asked the universe if I should kill myself please show me a yellow butterfly. Well today I was on reddit and saw a video of a yellow butterfly.

I should probably be happy but honestly I just feel like shit even more. Like how awful am I that even the universe wants me to kill myself? Maybe that's why my life is so shit now.

And this isn't even the first time this has happened. A few years ago I asked the same thing and recieved the specific sign I asked for. I guess maybe I was just hoping that I wouldn't see the sign so I could have something...anything to hang on too but...I dunno I'm just so over it. It's been getting progessively worst this last month. I barely get out of bed, exhausted all day, no job, shit parents, etc etc. And I got into a huge arguement with my stupid therapist recently so I'm not getting professional help anymore. Was shopping for a new therapist but it's actually difficult asf. I'm done. If the universe wants me to kill myself then it won. I will. I don't know what else to do. I did everything right. I got a therapist, I took the medication, I try to do the coping methods and its still the same.

I don't think it means what you thought it does. I think it means that you are unusually special and the Universe or or the Great Cosmic Spirit or God or whatever you choose to call Him or It, is excited by the thought of you coming Home... nor does it mean that you should do it right away. Time is very relative. Staying here on earth for many years may seem long to you now, but it will seem as nothing in the world to come, and you came to earth for a reason, not to leave asap.

 

[BlooBerryBanjo3000]

If the universe really wanted you dead, it would kill you.There are a plethora of ways in which it would achieve that. Only you get to decide if you want to take yourself out.

That, or it would drive you to suicide. Each little inconvenience slowly becomes more and more intolerable. Each year ends up worse than the last. You see no end to the seemingly never-ending torture and no signs of things ever getting better (or if it does get better, it'll only be temporarily before the bad luck returns, possibly with a vengeance. The universe basically gives you false hope, in the case of things getting better at some point). The only way to break free from the curse is death.

I wish I were making this up. But I've been dealing with this "curse" or whatever it is for so long, for so many years that I've lost track of exactly how many, that I know how this game works. And I'm so ready to quit.