Venting Ashes in a Urn

[Jisatsu]

They let go...slowly, and quietly...like a noose tightening around my throat,
silent fingers pulling tighter until the air is stolen,
and I'm left gasping in the dark,
suffocating on the weight of being forgotten.

I bleed , the blood covers my skin, a razor carving out my veins,
each cut a desperate scream no one hears,
each drop of blood a silent goodbye slipping through their cracks of indifference.

I want to wrap myself in shadows,
not with noise or fury, but with the slow, suffocating drag of a final breath,
the kind that steals life in whispers,
leaving nothing but a cold stillness...
a quiet end no one will ever see coming.

They gave up long before I did,
and maybe I'm just matching their silence...
folding myself tighter into this noose of pain,
waiting to fall into the emptiness that's been waiting for me all along.

I want to be ashes in a urn,
soft and cold and finally free...
because sometimes the sharpest pain
is the one that squeezes the life out of you slowly,
until you stop fighting to breathe and you finally let go.

 

[fedup1982]

Beautifully written and very moving. What made me saddest was the lines:

each cut a desperate scream no one hears,
each drop of blood a silent goodbye slipping through their cracks of indifference.

I'm lucky that I have parents who listen and try and comfort me. But what's the point I wonder sometimes when they can't help me die. I know full well most people can't even talk to their own flesh and blood family about the wish to no longer exist.

It sounds like at best, your cries have been ignored, and I'm sorry that you've gone through it, I've experienced it in relatively small ways and that was bad enough

 

[Nightfoot]

You are a very gifted writer.