etrnllxid
blunt
- Aug 9, 2023
- 52
I would really like to find a place where I can be myself and not have to worry about my debilitating condition. Being autistic is the worst thing to happen to me and it's literally ALL I'VE KNOWN. It's some sort of cruel joke that I'll be this way for the rest of my life and I'll never have as much potential as a Neurotypical.. either that or work 5x as hard just to live. So I'm socially fucked and I can't hide because Neurotypicals have retard-radar, I'm riddled with self hatred and I HATE WORKING i'm hyper aware of this all but it still stings. Maybe if my life isn't worth living my hypothetical child's will be. Nah, I risk them having it too, guess I gotta hope they're quirky (conventionally attractive with ASD) or have the type where they can do ridiculous fuckin mental math for others bewilderment/entertainment.
When I was younger I didn't understand why the leading cause of suicide was mental Illness. I FUCKING KNOW NOW.
When I was younger I didn't understand why the leading cause of suicide was mental Illness. I FUCKING KNOW NOW.