etrnllxid

etrnllxid

blunt
Aug 9, 2023
52
I would really like to find a place where I can be myself and not have to worry about my debilitating condition. Being autistic is the worst thing to happen to me and it's literally ALL I'VE KNOWN. It's some sort of cruel joke that I'll be this way for the rest of my life and I'll never have as much potential as a Neurotypical.. either that or work 5x as hard just to live. So I'm socially fucked and I can't hide because Neurotypicals have retard-radar, I'm riddled with self hatred and I HATE WORKING i'm hyper aware of this all but it still stings. Maybe if my life isn't worth living my hypothetical child's will be. Nah, I risk them having it too, guess I gotta hope they're quirky (conventionally attractive with ASD) or have the type where they can do ridiculous fuckin mental math for others bewilderment/entertainment.

When I was younger I didn't understand why the leading cause of suicide was mental Illness. I FUCKING KNOW NOW.
 
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ewlife

ewlife

:(
Oct 4, 2023
54
I would also love to find a place where I can be myself without judgement. We are at much higher risk for suicide relative to our neurotypical peers, in part because of how awful they are to us. Society really doesn't care about autistic people, it makes me sick. I wonder how my life would be if I were neurotypical.
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,243
Yup.
 
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toxicjester

toxicjester

The world’s worst jester
Dec 11, 2023
96
My ASD makes it really hard to comprehend things in a "normal" way so it feels like I'm forever fucked with any friendships I have and it's fucking up my relationship also to the point that if my gf breaks up with me I don't think I could handle doing it all over again. It also makes it hard to keep a steady job and it makes me feel so overwhelmed because I'm having to do it all by myself. I wish I wasn't born with this bullshit and could just function regularly.
 
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rosenwasser

rosenwasser

per ardua ad astra
Sep 9, 2023
126
I totally understand this. I suffer through it and long for a place where I could be myself. I always found some solace in other autistic people. But I don't really know anyone on my autism level and the "quirky" conventionally attractive ones ditched me for having success in the neurotypical world. That stings even more than the rejection from the NTs for them at least, I'm hard to comprehend.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,158
I relate. ASD truly is awful. I think it should be eradicated no matter what. I hope a cure for this can develop soon. If it does, I certainly will be dead long by then but I hope that the further generations can benefit from it as there is absolutely nothing good about autism. Autism is a disability and I've seen various neurotypicals on this site argue otherwise which is so infuriating to read. ASD is a disability
 
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