Venting As my plans to ctb come closer, all I can think of is my deceased boyfriend.

[BlueButterfly111]

Making this post because I just feel so lonely and empty right now. My plans to ctb are getting closer, but it feels like the days are going by SO slowly. I'm ready to ctb, all I do is think of him, about the time we had together, and the future we could've had together. I think of him before I go to sleep to try to comfort myself, so that maybe I can dream about him when I sleep. All I want in life is him, I feel like I'm going crazy now. I'm just so lonely.

He was the most beautiful type of person, like a living teddy bear. Even though he's dead, in my dreams and memories his spirit feels so alive. If there are any psychic mediums or somebody here, I think I really need some help. Can't believe I had almost a whole year of the most beautiful love and happiness. And now the last 7 months, just pain and emptiness. For someone to be on my mind this much, I think I have to see him again when I die. I don't care what anyone says, he's always with me, that's why I think about him all the time. I think he knows I'm ready to go and he's waiting for me somewhere beyond the skies.

His name is Henry, I miss and love him more than anything in this world. I really need to be with him again soon, I can't do this for much longer.

 

[nomoredolor]

Henry is with you, Henry loves you and knows how much you love him. Whenever you decide to go he will be with you and hold you in transition and will be with you on the other side. I believe he would think you valid whether you chose to live or to die. I'm so sorry it hurts so much and I wish I could ease your pain. Grief re-breaks one's heart every single day, multiple times a day. My continued love and support to you in this time of loss and uncertainty.
Anna

 

[BlueButterfly111]

Henry is with you, Henry loves you and knows how much you love him. Whenever you decide to go he will be with you and hold you in transition and will be with you on the other side. I believe he would think you valid whether you chose to live or to die. I'm so sorry it hurts so much and I wish I could ease your pain. Grief re-breaks one's heart every single day, multiple times a day. My continued love and support to you in this time of loss and uncertainty.
Anna

Thank you so much Anna! This actually made me cry while reading it. I really appreciate your support.