I believe its the gas andnthe actual idea of CTB.
Right now my tank is empty, I tried a 4th time and failed, this time I just let the tank run.
That's it for me and Exit Bag way.
My friend, if you remember we exchanged messages when you first posted the photos of your set-up.
A few thoughts, if I may...
TiredHorse, the OP in the Exit Bag & Inert Gas megathread does an excellent job of summarizing both the materials and the methods in the first few pages of the thread. What follows is a lot of the usual repetitive questions, obsessive worries, unlikely and fearful what-ifs, and misinformation. I think you said that you read the thread; even if you did, just slowly and carefully reread the first few pages.
I remember remarking on two particulars of your plan: first was that the hose is
very heavy-duty, it came with the regulator because it's intended for use with a welding torch. No problem, a hose is a hose, but I remember suggesting that because of the weight to be extra-sure that it's fastened firmly inside the bag. Also, there will be a slightly larger space between your neck and the bag where the hose enters, because of the larger hose diameter, but that is so slight that I don't believe it would affect the process.
My second concern was your use of a headband to compress the bag against your neck. Remember, it must be snug enough to keep the gas in but loose enough to allow your exhaled carbon dioxide to escape. I would
strongly suggest using the more traditional technique of an elastic drawcord worked into a turned and then taped hem, and a cord-lock to adjust the drawcord's tension. There are many videos of this on this site and YouTube.
Your regulator is an expensive professional model and is
better than the ones usually featured in CTB literature. Just double-check that you have adjusted the flow meter correctly.
Make sure your connections are secure: a simple soapy-water test is enough.
Make sure the plastic bag is airtight, no punctures or tears.
Are you sure that you've purchased the gas from a reputable, professional shop? The big supplier around my area is Airgas; they sell to professional welders and do not mess around with the purity of their products.
In this case, inert gas is inert gas is inert gas. For your purpose, there is absolutely no difference between nitrogen and argon. Anyone who says different is simply mistaken.
Follow TiredHorse's, Final Exit's and many other reliable sources directions to a T. Don't try and reinvent the wheel. Especially when you get down to the nitty-gritty: the instructions about the bag on your head, scrunching all the air out and filling it with gas, exhaling all the air you can from your lungs, pulling the bag down. Take one big breath, then just breath normally. There have been reliable accounts of people passing out after this first breath! Just four or five nice, slow, normal breaths should cause unconsciousness, with death to follow in about 5 to 10 minutes at most.
I know that you know every single thing I've just said! This was all a
just-in-case list of reminders.
Now the most important things I've got to say. I was tremendously impressed by your original posts; you seem intelligent, business-like, efficient, clear-thinking. Just by the excellence of your equipment and the thoroughness of your preparations it was obvious that you were not an overwrought teenager acting on impulse. Yes, your body has a built-in survival instinct, often called the hypercapnic response or alarm, that involuntarily kicks into action when it senses too much CO2. With the Exit Bag method you're simply replacing the O2 in your environment with the inert gas, while allowing the CO2 to escape. Your body does not notice the difference, you become unconscious and die. There is no
physical panic reflex.
However, the mind is often an uncontrollable little monkey and it will still be busily and frantically jumping around during your final actions with the bag. This is just my opinion, my friend, but I think it's this little monkey that's pulling the bag off of your head,
not
any fault with the method itself (provided all your materials and equipment are in good working order and your methodology is correct, as I've outlined above.) Controlling that wild, primitive animal inside us--especially during times of great stress or danger--has been a challenge since time immemorial.
Many people suggest something as simple as a few drinks (which I know you have in your supplies!
) or a mild tranquilizer or both. Of course, in using these you've got to walk that fine line between becoming totally out-of-it and having enough physical and mental ability to complete the process correctly. Only you know your parameters when it comes to that.
Finally, I'd be remiss if I didn't say this. I am
not a pro-lifer, I hate that bullshit, and I firmly believe in Exit International's philosophy:
"every adult of sound mind has the right to implement plans for the end of their life so that their death is reliable, peaceful and at a time of their choosing; control over one's life & death is a fundamental human right."
But, that primitive uncontrollable monkey mind at the core of your being
could be screaming, "I know that the rest of you is saying that it wants to die, but
I don't!"
One thing about suicide is that it doesn't spoil or rot or rust or disappear. There's no expiration date. It will be there tomorrow if you choose to use it. Take a bit of time off, try to relax, think things over as deeply as you ever have in your life. Make sure you're sure. If you're not, move ahead with your life: it's not easy, it's a fucking battle, it's just one damn thing after another, but that's the nature of the beast. If you are sure, than do what you have to do.
--G.