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Are your motives for wanting to CTB motivated by:


  • Total voters
    88
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,117
So- nothing all that new in this thread again I'm afraid... Just a whole lot of rambling thoughts around assisted suicide in the context of mental illness...

A comment by @ksp in a thread yesterday got me thinking about all this stuff again:

'by making nembutal illegal, the main problem is that society is imposing a subjective value of life'

I thought about this and had to agree with it. It IS the fact that our lives are 'supposed' to be seen as valuable and therefore need to be protected (by governments/society) that we are not allowed to kill each other- obviously a good thing (although we seem to make exceptions in war/capital punishment/abortion etc) and the powers that be don't seem keen on letting us kill ourselves either. (For the most part.)

So yes- regarding so heavily restricting or outright denying assisted suicide, on the face of it- this is an infringement of our free will and autonomy. While I personally don't feel Nihilism is a fact that ought to be applied to everyone, I think it is a perfectly reasonable point of view for an individual to have. The idea that life is valuable intrinsically is based on things like religion- which isn't compulsory these days. Everything else is opinion.

I thought about it some more- considering how much we as a race seem to put so much value on the freedom and power of individual choice. (Or at least, I think we all like to believe the illusion that we have that power.)

The only thing I could fall back on as to why we are not rationally/morally being given this choice (ignoring all the other religious/economical opposition) is just that- rationality... If you start boring yourself reading articles on the motivation behind suicide, chances are, it won't be long before you stumble on the subject of mental health and depression.

There definitely seems to be an assumption that if you are suicidal, you are depressed. If you are depressed, you are too emotional and your thinking has become too distorted to think rationally. So basically- there is this idea that- 'no- we won't let you have or do this because you have an illness which has distorted your view of the world... (and we can fix it!)

Like I say- I know this topic has been covered many times before. I suppose it is the one major hurdle I see though preventing a lot of people getting access to assisted suicide in the future.

It's a weird one though. In some cases- maybe it would/will do us a favour. They're never likely to agree with our point of view of the world. Still- if a person is 'treatment resistant'- presumably- they are beyond all help and ought to be given as much sympathy as someone with a terminal illness?

I suppose my selfish concern is for people like me. I have neither terrible physical or mental illness (as far as I'm aware...) I just don't think life is worth it! I sort of have to wonder if someone like me would ever be eligible for it...

Anyhow- after reading one of these articles, I picked up very strongly this idea of emotional turmoil. That the suicidal person was simply in too much emotional anguish that it destroyed their ability to think clearly... So- that's why I made the poll.

What is it primarily that drives your desire to CTB? Is it a deep and unrelenting sadness? Is it more of a thought out approach that you simply don't think life is worth it? I'm guessing most likely- it's a mixture of the two...

Of course, I fully realise the futility of all this. Even if someone was to say their reasons for wanting to CTB were entirely logical or reasoned, the 'normies' I suspect would still argue that depression had simply skewed that person's view of the world.

Of course- the other argument is that there is no such thing as mental illness. It is simply a reasonable reaction to living a shit life to feel like this. Why should I feel the obligation to enjoy life anyway?!!

Seeing as no government/corporation/ society wants to share the money to perhaps make people's lives slightly less shit, it's terribly convenient for them to say: 'If you're deeply unhappy with the world we have created and your prospects in it- you're just plain crazy.'

Realistically then- I don't see all that much changing with regards to the mentally 'ill's' access to assisted suicide. In order for this 'deviant' to get their wish, either they will need to confirm that the patient can't be 'cured' to think 'normally,' or, they will have to admit that in some cases, there is no mental illness present but neither can they do anything for the person to improve their situation.

As I said, a long meandering thread that didn't really say anything new! Thank you if you got to the end. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts...
 
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WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,431
Well part of it is because i am not a cis female, which i view as reasoned, while the other part is to be rid of the jealousy i have towards attractive cis women, which would fall under emotional.
 
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Mofreeko

Mofreeko

Arcanist
Apr 7, 2019
478
Definitely reasoned. It's just the most logical choice for me since I'm unable to live a life that brings happiness. The core of my being is just failure on top of failure to the point I have no dignity or self respect. I'm giving myself permission to walk off the stage.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,290
The way that I see it, it makes sense to wish to leave this world. I see no value to delaying our inevitable fate just to inevitably suffer and eventually just deteriorate. Continuing to exist is the ultimate risk as there is no limit as to how much we can potentially be tortured by life circumstances, and there are simply no disadvantages to being dead but there are an unlimited amount of things wrong with existing. My wish to ctb is completely reasoned, it's the most rational thing to want to be gone.

It's irrational for people to say that suicide is wrong under any circumstances as to die would remove the true cause of all problems in the first place in which there were never any need for at all. But of course emotions and my personal feelings towards existing are a part of this, but there is nothing 'mentally ill' about the way that I see life. I personally despise existing and see non existence as being the preferable option but it makes so much sense for me to hate life and not wish to suffer.
 
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CandyCane

CandyCane

Student
Mar 11, 2022
143
Reasoned. I'm chronically ill, cannot get useful medical help, and my life is torture because of it. I do not see a way out as there isn't a solution to my chronic health condition, nor do I believe there will be anytime soon. There is a chance I could heal or improve, which is why I'm still here, but how long do I need to hang on for? I've been living with this problem for 13-14 years. In addition, due to my poor health, I'm now trapped living with a narcissist as I am too ill to move and care for myself and the medical field/social services won't offer humane living options for people like me. They won't even recognize that my problems exist.
 
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MellowAvenue

MellowAvenue

👻
Nov 5, 2020
658
So basically- there is this idea that- 'no- we won't let you have or do this because you have an illness which has distorted your view of the world... (and we can fix it!)
Well the funny kicker to that is sometimes they do determine there's no fixing you but they still won't let you die, they just throw you into a cage and let you be miserable all day while they do their best to force you to stay alive.
 
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CandyCane

CandyCane

Student
Mar 11, 2022
143
they just throw you into a cage and let you be miserable all day while they do their best* to force you to stay alive.

*while they profit off your body
 
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S

SamTam33

Warlock
Oct 9, 2022
763
I wonder how many doctors and such believe that a rational person can still want to die.

Can they at least admit that? Considering how we all came to be, it makes perfect sense that some would want to undo it.

But they won't even have the conversation.

Anyway, my reasons are so rational they drive me crazy. Literally.

It's like trying to justify why you're thirsty. I just am! Because people get thirsty!

I don't like life because life is unlikable.

I didn't make me and I don't like the me that was made by someone else.

Why is that so hard to comprehend?

Not everyone likes anchovies or roller coasters or classical music. If you can fathom that, you should be capable of comprehending that not everyone likes life.

Imagine you received a crappy Christmas present and when you tried to return it, the sales associate said you're wrong not to want it and refused to exchange it. Told you to go back home and try to love it.

Who's the crazy one in that situation?
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,117
Not everyone likes anchovies or roller coasters or classical music. If you can fathom that, you should be capable of comprehending that not everyone likes life.

Imagine you received a crappy Christmas present and when you tried to return it, the sales associate said you're wrong not to want it and refused to exchange it. Told you to go back home and try to love it.

Who's the crazy one in that situation?
SO true- it's like- you need to try harder to like life- like it's an obligation because you can't possibly die.
 
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J

jessisme

Specialist
Dec 3, 2022
382
Definitely rational. My life without suicide would be horrific. I need to ctb to avert disaster and long term suffering.
 
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BlazingBob

BlazingBob

Wizard
Oct 28, 2021
609
Reasoned. I'm chronically ill, cannot get useful medical help, and my life is torture because of it. I do not see a way out as there isn't a solution to my chronic health condition, nor do I believe there will be anytime soon. There is a chance I could heal or improve, which is why I'm still here, but how long do I need to hang on for? I've been living with this problem for 13-14 years. In addition, due to my poor health, I'm now trapped living with a narcissist as I am too ill to move and care for myself and the medical field/social services won't offer humane living options for people like me. They won't even recognize that my problems exist.
Your situation sounds like mine.
 
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redeyepiranha

redeyepiranha

Member
Jun 22, 2022
87
I don't like life and I think it's rational. I wish I'd never been born, it's such a mistake. I understand that a lot of people love life, good for them, but why is it so difficult to comprehend that I don't like living just like someone who hates spinach?
 
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ksp

ksp

Arcanist
Oct 1, 2022
435
only reasoning and introspection
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,858
I don't understand the rationale behind how any other person / entity / government should feel that they should have control or dominion over my own autonomy.
 
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W

Wannagonow

Specialist
Nov 16, 2022
376
For me I believe it's a lifetime of uncontrolled mental illness. I just have this inner drive that tells me I need to ctb. But to be honest, there are emotional things that also affect me. So for me I say mental illness, but if I had to chose one of your categories I would have to say emotional. Thanks for the post!
 
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M

my-end

Leaving not grieving
Dec 19, 2022
156
So- nothing all that new in this thread again I'm afraid... Just a whole lot of rambling thoughts around assisted suicide in the context of mental illness...

A comment by @ksp in a thread yesterday got me thinking about all this stuff again:

'by making nembutal illegal, the main problem is that society is imposing a subjective value of life'

I thought about this and had to agree with it. It IS the fact that our lives are 'supposed' to be seen as valuable and therefore need to be protected (by governments/society) that we are not allowed to kill each other- obviously a good thing (although we seem to make exceptions in war/capital punishment/abortion etc) and the powers that be don't seem keen on letting us kill ourselves either. (For the most part.)

So yes- regarding so heavily restricting or outright denying assisted suicide, on the face of it- this is an infringement of our free will and autonomy. While I personally don't feel Nihilism is a fact that ought to be applied to everyone, I think it is a perfectly reasonable point of view for an individual to have. The idea that life is valuable intrinsically is based on things like religion- which isn't compulsory these days. Everything else is opinion.

I thought about it some more- considering how much we as a race seem to put so much value on the freedom and power of individual choice. (Or at least, I think we all like to believe the illusion that we have that power.)

The only thing I could fall back on as to why we are not rationally/morally being given this choice (ignoring all the other religious/economical opposition) is just that- rationality... If you start boring yourself reading articles on the motivation behind suicide, chances are, it won't be long before you stumble on the subject of mental health and depression.

There definitely seems to be an assumption that if you are suicidal, you are depressed. If you are depressed, you are too emotional and your thinking has become too distorted to think rationally. So basically- there is this idea that- 'no- we won't let you have or do this because you have an illness which has distorted your view of the world... (and we can fix it!)

Like I say- I know this topic has been covered many times before. I suppose it is the one major hurdle I see though preventing a lot of people getting access to assisted suicide in the future.

It's a weird one though. In some cases- maybe it would/will do us a favour. They're never likely to agree with our point of view of the world. Still- if a person is 'treatment resistant'- presumably- they are beyond all help and ought to be given as much sympathy as someone with a terminal illness?

I suppose my selfish concern is for people like me. I have neither terrible physical or mental illness (as far as I'm aware...) I just don't think life is worth it! I sort of have to wonder if someone like me would ever be eligible for it...

Anyhow- after reading one of these articles, I picked up very strongly this idea of emotional turmoil. That the suicidal person was simply in too much emotional anguish that it destroyed their ability to think clearly... So- that's why I made the poll.

What is it primarily that drives your desire to CTB? Is it a deep and unrelenting sadness? Is it more of a thought out approach that you simply don't think life is worth it? I'm guessing most likely- it's a mixture of the two...

Of course, I fully realise the futility of all this. Even if someone was to say their reasons for wanting to CTB were entirely logical or reasoned, the 'normies' I suspect would still argue that depression had simply skewed that person's view of the world.

Of course- the other argument is that there is no such thing as mental illness. It is simply a reasonable reaction to living a shit life to feel like this. Why should I feel the obligation to enjoy life anyway?!!

Seeing as no government/corporation/ society wants to share the money to perhaps make people's lives slightly less shit, it's terribly convenient for them to say: 'If you're deeply unhappy with the world we have created and your prospects in it- you're just plain crazy.'

Realistically then- I don't see all that much changing with regards to the mentally 'ill's' access to assisted suicide. In order for this 'deviant' to get their wish, either they will need to confirm that the patient can't be 'cured' to think 'normally,' or, they will have to admit that in some cases, there is no mental illness present but neither can they do anything for the person to improve their situation.

As I said, a long meandering thread that didn't really say anything new! Thank you if you got to the end. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts...
They hold a monetary value on everyone's lives. I believe this is part of their stance, albeit covert or otherwise. In relation to this, if it were legal, how many would partake and what would that cost be? What would this say about, as you say, the world they created as well?
I believe it to be true that many are over emotional (irrational) and that is their cause to ctb. However, depending on the length of time one has been struggling/trying, a list of reasons may develop that rationally substantiates the desire to leave. Even the world judges based on prior behavior/history, so how are we not to do the same and come to the conclusion that it's not going to get better?
In ref to nembutal and the ease of which it made it easy to accomplish our goal, I was considering my choice of method and the the flaws in it that I didn't like. I'm using N2. Preferably I'd like to be unconscious before the gas was turned on but that's impossible alone. So I started looking for electric ball valves. This could be attached to a timer which would activate after a period of time designated. It adds complexity and also doesn't address having the bag on before going to sleep via some substance yet still being able to breathe so as to not trigger the hypercapnic response. It could be figured out I believe though.
Ty for your poll and post.
 
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A

Anonymus

Enlightened
May 6, 2022
1,355
Emotionally I want to live, but no matter how hard I try, I can't get out. Neither medication nor therapy works or keeps my life from getting worse and worse. Rationally I understand that I must die and that my time has come.

It's been about a year and a half since I realized that I wasn't giving any more of myself, in fact it's been years since I overstepped my limits and I don't have the resources to deal with anything else.
I do not have mature social skills and the few I do have are not developed to communicate well enough with other people.
I do not have the physical health to guarantee any employer that I will be able to carry out a task with guarantees of being satisfactorily resolved.
...
I no longer have enough time to consider another way of living that can build a bearable future for me... let alone with someone else to help me continue in my day to day.

I've always had a lot of problems, since I was little, but they were all just in my head.. now it's different, I've gotten older and everything has taken its toll on me physically before time.
I am unable to resolve my current situation, which will inevitably get substantially (and cruelly) worse.

Rationally I must die, emotionally I still resist.

//

Emocionalment vull viure, però per més que ho intento no me'n surto pas. Ni la medicació ni la teràpia funcionen ni eviten que la meva vida empitjori de forma continuada i constant. Racionalment entenc que he de morir i que m'ha arribat l'hora.

Ja fa cosa d'any i mig que em vaig adonar que jo no donava més de si, en realitat fa anys que vaig sobrepassar els meu límits i no disposo de recursos per fer front a res més.
No disposo d'habilitats socials madures ni les poques que tinc les se desenvolupar per comunicar-me prou bé amb d'altres persones.
No disposo de salut física per garantir a cap empresari que podré desenvolupar una tasca amb garanties de ser resolta satisfactoriament.
...
Ja no tinc prou temps per plantejar-me una altre manera de viure que em pugui construïr un futur suportable... i menys al costat d'algú altre que m'ajudi a seguir en el meu día a día.

Sempre he tingut molts problemes, desde petit, però tots estaven només al cap.. ara és diferent, he envellit i tot m'ha passat factura físicament abans d'hora.
No sóc capaç de resoldre la meva situació actual, la qual inevitablement empitjorará substancialment (i cruelment).

Racionalment he de morir, emocionalment em resisteixo encara.
 
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CandyCane

CandyCane

Student
Mar 11, 2022
143
Your situation sounds like mine.
I'm so sorry! I'm trying. I have days of some hope and days where I'm more like "lets get real here" - it's nice to have a place to talk about it without getting locked in a padded room
 
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N

nohopeleft77

Member
Dec 8, 2022
16
For me it's because of financial and legal issues as a result of being screwed over by narcs. I hadn't even considered suicide before but now it's my only option other than homelessness with no money.
 
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freevoid

freevoid

Student
Jul 11, 2022
137
Chronically ill for decades, mentally ill from the get go. In constant discomfort and/or pain.

I think it's it's pretty reasonable to want to escape a pointless "torture" of an existence.
 
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timorousTruant

timorousTruant

Azoidant
Nov 18, 2022
92
For me, I consider it a rational response to an emotional problem. I have a severe anxiety disorder which has completely fucked up my life with seemingly no hope of getting better (legit tried everything: been in therapy 6 years, taken various meds, the whole shebang). I think it's a fairly objective statement to say I have little to no chance of functioning as an adult in society, and I'm absolutely miserable all the time, so yeah, it makes sense to end it all. Honestly what's irrational is that I haven't done it yet, simply because I'm obsessed with finishing a story I'm writing even though I'm only ever going to share it with internet strangers. 🤷‍♂️
 
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Adamsnolife

Adamsnolife

Specialist
May 5, 2020
395
More reasoning
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
If the only thing you wanna do is sleep you certainly do not want to live and then what's the point?
 
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TypeDef_End_Bye

TypeDef_End_Bye

Member
Nov 16, 2022
31
My life is a coincidence and/or consequence of something I couldn't control.
 
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Rainy_days

Rainy_days

Experienced
Dec 21, 2022
256
For me, I consider it a rational response to an emotional problem. I have a severe anxiety disorder which has completely fucked up my life with seemingly no hope of getting better (legit tried everything: been in therapy 6 years, taken various meds, the whole shebang). I think it's a fairly objective statement to say I have little to no chance of functioning as an adult in society, and I'm absolutely miserable all the time, so yeah, it makes sense to end it all. Honestly what's irrational is that I haven't done it yet, simply because I'm obsessed with finishing a story I'm writing even though I'm only ever going to share it with internet strangers. 🤷‍♂️
Yeah, same here.
 
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