Discussion Are you worse off in relationships or alone?

[dogemn]

I feel terrible being alone and not experiencing affection but at the same time I feel like being in a relationship would cause me immense fear of being abandoned. And if I did get abandoned I feel like I'd become even more suicidal, so I choose to be alone.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I have a huge problem so nothing else matters

But even if i didnt have any problems why do i have to consciously choose to do anything? I don't and wouldn't ever want to participate in anything in this world

Even if i decided to do something i would never want a relationship with any human especially not a romantic relationship

 

[SASU-KE]

I live alone. I'm single and I'm not in a relationship. It's by choice and I prefer it that way because growing up I saw everyone around me in miserable relationships. My parents, my uncles, aunts,everyone. I have no regrets. I have enough problems that I need to solve. And I never want to shove them on to anyone else either.

 

[idfwlnh]

Same, I'd rather be alone and all. Talking to anyone about what I think will just end up either they leaving, or they would just start having the same mindset as mine. I don't really want to bring anyone down because of me. Not all people out there want to die, and if they do, I just can't bear listening to them talking too much about SH or ctb. But being alone, man, its lonely. I don't have a lot of friends, not to say none, especially "best friends". I feel like whoever I talk to, no matter how much we talk, they can't really become someone I can talk to about my problems. On the outside, I always try my best to act like an energetic extrovert person, and that sucks even more. It hurts being alone

 

[darksouls]

I am alone because my ex-boyfriends treated me like garbage

 

[desiderium]

I'm going to be brutally honest- it depends on the relationship you end up in.

I've had relationships that have (for a brief moment) made me feel better and more optimistic about my life. For the time I was in them, I could even argue that I had a brief desire to actually try and get better. To try one more time to find happiness, wherever it's hiding.

However, not every relationship is like that.

I've been in relationships that have done the exact opposite. Where I've been left far worse off mentally, more suicidal, more desperate, and somehow even MORE alone than I felt when I was single. I've been with 'lovers' that are abusive, or toxic, or just straight-up suffocating to be around. It all depends on the person, the situation, and the dynamic between yourself and them.

Being alone is much, much, better than being stranded in a dying relationship. I've been far worse off in certain relationships, and I've been worse off being alone in others.

 

[Ybxn9]

I feel terrible being alone and not experiencing affection but at the same time I feel like being in a relationship would cause me immense fear of being abandoned. And if I did get abandoned I feel like I'd become even more suicidal, so I choose to be alone.

It depends who you are with, ive been in a relationship with someone who genuinely makes my life better in every way, and is everything I could ask for, I would be a lot worse off alone, probably already dead, I think chasing a relationship will only lead to failure however, being able to accept being alone doesnt make you lonely is a skill not many people can achieve.

Just know that a relationship wont make rhe ideas go away, simply become less and less appealing usually, and yoy have something to care about that will stop you.

However sometimes you'll end up still in that headspace, and then there's really nothing you can do, like where I am now

 

[suicidallymorbid]

I wish for a relationship where we mutually agree upon our sufferings. But i neither have the strength nor the mental capacity to maintain them. So, I'm afraid and scared. And live alone avoiding another moment that could scar my life more.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Both genuinly feel unbearable. Maybe because I just end up being in relationships with shitty people. But being in a relationship makes my bpd way more symptomatic than what it's like when I'm alone. And being alone makes me feel like I'll lose my mind from the hollowness within my heart.

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

I feel terrible being alone and not experiencing affection but at the same time I feel like being in a relationship would cause me immense fear of being abandoned. And if I did get abandoned I feel like I'd become even more suicidal, so I choose to be alone.

Relatable due to personal similar experience.
I'd still choose relationship anyway. Loneliness kills me more.

To be fair I never really had a too bad relationship, only exception might be my ex girlfriend who had BPD, that shit was bit intense at times, but idk if it even was a relationship, more like an on/off situationship, mostly due to her mood swings and me feeling not like committing to the rollercoaster.

I don't really want to bring anyone down because of me. Not all people out there want to die, and if they do, I just can't bear listening to them talking too much about SH or ctb. But being alone, man, its lonely. I don't have a lot of friends, not to say none, especially "best friends". I feel like whoever I talk to, no matter how much we talk, they can't really become someone I can talk to about my problems. On the outside, I always try my best to act like an energetic extrovert person, and that sucks even more. It hurts being alone

All this, too is entirely reliable, apart from wanting to be alone, like you do (omitted that part of the quote tho for that reason), loneliness is just something that been killing me slowly for years now. It's a balance act to not load too many problems on the other person, one that I've always struggled with, I guess. But it's doable if in therapy.

Just know that a relationship wont make rhe ideas go away, simply become less and less appealing usually, and yoy have something to care about that will stop you.

However sometimes you'll end up still in that headspace, and then there's really nothing you can do, like where I am now

Unless loneliness and not having a significant other is one of your main reasons for being suicidal...

I would be a lot worse off alone, probably already dead, I think chasing a relationship will only lead to failure however, being able to accept being alone doesnt make you lonely is a skill not many people can achieve.

Which you basically acknowledged here already unless I got you wrong?!
I really tried to learn that skill, guess I'm one of the many who can't. Kind of expected ngl.

 

[CopingWithSenility]

I feel terrible being alone and not experiencing affection but at the same time I feel like being in a relationship would cause me immense fear of being abandoned. And if I did get abandoned I feel like I'd become even more suicidal, so I choose to be alone.

Worse off alone BY FARRR. If not for my girlfriend, I would do everything in my power to satisfy my urge to CTB. I feel like I can't act on it because of her. I feel like I have a reason to stay, someone who still loves me, and I want to be there for her until she gets tired or bored of me. Until then, I cannot find the motivation to CTB, even if I would like to
I get your fear of being abandoned. Its how I felt about my parents and most of my family. But truly do give it a shot. Even if it only lasts a few years or even months, to just have that feeling and to feel that love is amazing. Enjoy what little joy life offers

 

[passthisnote]

ngl i'm 19 and i've never had a gf or relationship before and sometimes i think i might be like asexual or something because my whole life i went without ever even having interest in relationships or girls but i used to be addicted to adult content even when i was a kid so like idk what i am i don't really want a girlfriend but sometimes i think about sex but never in a million years would i ever want to pursue that stuff so idk and then i get disgusted by my own feelings and don't want to be attracted to anyone so i might be better off alone without a gf