FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,414
In my case I've only ever wished to permanently not exist, wanting to die is all that feels rational as it's the only way to find peace from all suffering and harms, I could never see a point to existing anyway. But sadly not everyone has the privledge of a reliable suicide plan, in my case all the methods are either risky or inaccessible.
Grimscribe
In Defense of Non-Existence
- May 16, 2023
- 44
At the moment? Not at all. I have methods planned in my head all the time, but at this time in my life, suicide is far from my mind.
Dying2077
Student
- Oct 6, 2023
- 109
Old Friend
Sleep well, Airstrip One.
- Sep 24, 2023
- 478
I haven't decided on a method yet. I'm considering either sn or inert gas. I can't really plan until I've made my mind up.
The doctor, yesterday, asked me if I was suicidal. She said I must tell her if I am, especially if I have a plan. I said "no", naturally. At least she's signed me off work for two weeks.
The doctor, yesterday, asked me if I was suicidal. She said I must tell her if I am, especially if I have a plan. I said "no", naturally. At least she's signed me off work for two weeks.
LaVieEnRose
Angelic
- Jul 23, 2022
- 4,188
Suicidal contemplation can take many forms and this forum is open for all of them.
Lol. "Offer yourself up on a silver platter so I can lock you up". Bitch please.
I tried to kill my self many times and everytime I failed because of diffirent stuffs. Im not working or trying anymore for this but I'm always looking for danger to put myself in like I don't check whether my gun is unloaded or look left or right when crossing the street or just I'm not wary of people's aggression.
HollowDrop
ah
- Oct 4, 2023
- 135
Not entirely set in stone for me until my last anchor to life is gone but I am actively planning it for the future. Joining the forum has been amazing thanks to all the resources that help planning a proper sendoff for minimal risks. Sometimes I really wish I CTB earlier but life be like that.
NearlyIrrelevantCake
The Cake Is A Lie
- Aug 12, 2021
- 1,261
I feel that. I've stopped avoiding confrontations in public and even become aggressive myself sometimes. I step into situations to defend others more readily. If someone hurts or kills me, then good.
wanttodie
Enlightened
- Apr 19, 2018
- 1,801
Yes, definitely no matter what
AllCatsAreGrey
they/he
- Sep 27, 2023
- 281
I answered "probably", but I think the real answer is "Yes, ... no matter what" as I do feel it will be my end, it's just a matter of timing.
Geist
F this forum and its members. Nothing but pussies.
- Oct 7, 2023
- 30
I will die through either suicide or a drug-overdose... if natural causes like heart-failure or a stroke won't get me first, since I have a very sedentary lifestyle.
But the way things are going right now, I'll have to opt for suicide come new year. Being homeless in winter just doesn't sound like something I want to go through, especially without even owning a car or anything.
But the way things are going right now, I'll have to opt for suicide come new year. Being homeless in winter just doesn't sound like something I want to go through, especially without even owning a car or anything.
plzgivemebooks
Lord Of The Guys
- Oct 3, 2023
- 2
Nah, not really I mean I've thought about it but I don't think I'll go through with it at least not now.
sserafim
brighter than the sun, that’s just me
- Sep 13, 2023
- 9,012
Yeah, I've always known that I would die young and die this way. I feel like I'm destined to. I want to ctb before 25 maximum and I will no matter what. I never want to get old or become a real adult!
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BlazingBob
I'm still here b/c of my dogs
- Oct 28, 2021
- 601
I prefer the term self deliverance. I'm diseased and there's no cure. The only thing standing in my way are the dogs I take care of but lately things have become so unbearable I might end up doing it anyway. A person can only take so much. My life is over whether I like it or not. Ctb is 100% in my case. It would probably be different if I were healthy. Health is everything. Without it life is not worth living.
Trakehner
Student
- Apr 22, 2023
- 118
I plan on dying within the next 18 months at most but haven't decided on a method. The only thing keeping me alive is the fear of failing, surviving, and being in an even worse situation than before.
sserafim
brighter than the sun, that’s just me
- Sep 13, 2023
- 9,012
Yeah same. That would suck. That's literally my biggest fear and worst nightmare
EternalShore
Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
- Jun 9, 2023
- 928
yeah, same! >_< I want to be one and done! I don't want to go the hospital or the psych ward and literally ruin my life that way! >_< If I miss so much as one thing, my life might as well be over! :(
And I swear, if my college catches wind of me being psych warded and determines that overloading on credits every semester is the reason behind it (it's not, in fact, it's beneficial), then I got to redouble my efforts! xD
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dreamingofpeace
Member
- Oct 6, 2023
- 18
im tryna live in general but i need security in having a way out if shit hits the fan. at the end of the day if nothing else comes up and i reach old age its good to know i have an exit plan to avoid getting put in a home. i dont feel like rolling the dice to see if i get put in a nice one lol. I've seen how people get treated and i won't risk spending my last years in that shit, I'd much rather go out as peacefully as I can. sometimes i think i definitely do wanna do it myself no matter what, just bc being able to control how u go out is really appealing to my ocd, other times i think no i dont rly wanna have to do it but its a huge relief to know I can
it's prolly people who've gone in recovery since joining
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MatrixPrisoner
Enlightened
- Jul 8, 2023
- 1,415
pthnrdnojvsc
Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
- Aug 12, 2019
- 2,519
Yes definitely I will kill "myself", self hah just cells a torture chamber . Only thing holding me up is fear of failure and remaining alive in a worse condition
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kilowatt
Guns don't kill people I kill people
- Sep 9, 2023
- 377
Being suicidal doesn't always mean you'll act upon your thoughts. It takes a considerate amount of time and thought to actually take matters into your own hands. Some people simply wish to die but suicide is not an easy option.
Ε. Η. R.
Experienced
- Oct 5, 2023
- 266
iamsofkntired
Neither death can do us apart
- Sep 28, 2023
- 115
It will depend on the circumstances whether CTB is required or not.
NocturnILL
She will become the wind…
- Sep 11, 2023
- 434
I am not actively planning as of right now but I do feel like my end will ultimately be CTB. Timing and circumstances plan big roles for me.
SilentSadness
Vultures circle overhead
- Feb 28, 2023
- 1,040
Sadly it's not like I have a choice, suicide is just so difficult and risky.
Arihman
Efilist, atheist, pro-right to die.
- Jun 8, 2023
- 133
Yes, it will probably be by hanging, either partial or full, since SN costs, and isn't that readily avaliable. Life is garbage, humans are mostly scumbags, and I don't want to live in a world where they exist. Also, life has no inherent redeeming purpose, all it can do (and often doesn't do, or does imperfectly and inappropriately) is solving problems that it itself created. It's like throwing a child into the ocean for the sake of saving him from drowning, so he can appreciate what it's like to no longer be in danger, because by not throwing him into the ocean he otherwise wouldn't be able to be grateful for not drowning. It's basically a sadistic and idiotic game where you can't win, you can only become better at cutting your losses, as in, eliminating or preventing harm.
There is no good reason for life to exist on a general level, and on an individual level, the only good reasons I could see are things like you having it good, having a high enough chance to have it good in the future, having previously (and willingly) promised your loved ones that you will stay (yes, I know a few people who did this), or helping prevent or fix suffering in the world at large (e.g. a doctor trying to find a cure for cancer). In all these cases, however, it's still all about fixing problems created by existence, problems that wouldn't have been there if sentient life didn't become a thing in the first place.
Suicide eliminates your current suffering, while also preventing all possible future harm, since the dead, at least under a materialist view of the world, can neither suffer nor crave the (real or alleged) goods of life. That's why I'm going to ctb soon enough. And, as usual, I don't care about the harm to loved ones, firstly because, if they think the end of my pain is not a good idea, they don't deserve affection in the first place, and secondly, because the harm imposed by one's suicide is likely not comparable to the harm of continuing a life you hate.
There is no good reason for life to exist on a general level, and on an individual level, the only good reasons I could see are things like you having it good, having a high enough chance to have it good in the future, having previously (and willingly) promised your loved ones that you will stay (yes, I know a few people who did this), or helping prevent or fix suffering in the world at large (e.g. a doctor trying to find a cure for cancer). In all these cases, however, it's still all about fixing problems created by existence, problems that wouldn't have been there if sentient life didn't become a thing in the first place.
Suicide eliminates your current suffering, while also preventing all possible future harm, since the dead, at least under a materialist view of the world, can neither suffer nor crave the (real or alleged) goods of life. That's why I'm going to ctb soon enough. And, as usual, I don't care about the harm to loved ones, firstly because, if they think the end of my pain is not a good idea, they don't deserve affection in the first place, and secondly, because the harm imposed by one's suicide is likely not comparable to the harm of continuing a life you hate.
