are you here as a cry for help, or do you actually want to be gone forever?

[Idcwhatmynameis]

...I just don't see any reasonable endpoint to my suffering anymore, and that at least if I take my life, there's no further suffering and despair in not existing anymore. And there's none of the heartbreak of wishing your suffering would end WITHOUT your life having to and being reminded again and again that, no, death is most likely the only guaranteed way to never suffer like I've been for so long again.

Do I wish I'd been allowed to just live my life, to have a quiet and happy life with those I've now lost that I cared about. But, in late 2024 something happened to me that decimated every friendship I had but a precious few and, back then, I made a few attempts too. I kept living on, believing that maybe things would be better one day. It had been harassment mobbing online that had flooded into my irl, my real life was also shattered because all of my friendships had imploded overnight.

Whether online or in real life, there's no point in making friends that will just end up abandoning me and reminding me of how hopeless being alive is.

 

[underairpressure]

Mostly I'm here because there are very few places left on the internet where you can be candid about suicidal thoughts/urges, or really any "darker" MH related stuff.

But as for whether I'm "serious" about wanting to die...... it's tough to answer that, because I want to die, but I don't want to stop existing entirely. Mostly I just want to escape my horrible body, my horrible life experiences, and my horrible broken brain. Idk. I wish I could become a ghost, or an angel or something. Get reincarnated. If I had a guarantee that I'd have a new kind of existence afterwards, I would have killed myself a long, long time ago.

 

[ireallywasnttogopls]

the later

 

[AgathaChristieLover]

I don't know if I want to die I don't know if I will I just am suffering and I want it to end

 

[Not_a_fan_of_life]

GONE - Nothingness.

 

[crashinout]

i don't necessarily think it's fair that someone who's here as a "cry for help" will recommend certains methods
to the other people who actively are looking for real, (almost) guaranteed methods.

methods which might make their lives even worse, with serious permanent life-long effects, if they survive.

or, let's say... they don't die which they wanted to, so instead get sent to the psych ward because someone finds them, when they thought they would be dead by then.
and then their lives are even worse after that.

because i've noticed there's quite a bit of discouragement when it comes to hardcore methods such as drowning.

some people would gladly take those 6 minutes of suffering to obtian peace, because their entire lives have been full of suffering anyway.

it's great if someone still has hope for this world...

but we gotta respect there's different people on here with entirely different wishes.

i have no idea what i want. i dont know if i want to live or die.

i fucked up a lot of things but im still young. i have a lot of "bad" character traits from mental illness (i can come off cold or conceited). and i have no fam. isolated a lot of ppl hate me irl. losing my savings.

 

[telekon]

cry for help to who?? to you guys ??
I want to be gone forever I'm just terribly afraid and also if I do go through with it I want to do it right. my methods are out the window I don't really know what to do.

 

[deadanddecomposing]

Tbh, neither. I'm here cause it feels like the only space I'm allowed to openly discuss something that plagues my mind for the majority of the day. It feels like the only place I can talk about feeling suicidal without hearing the same generic advice and being infantilized