Are you both useless and worthless as well?

[The Blackangel]

It gets to a point when you have to admit things to yourself. Maybe you're greedy. Maybe you're racist. Maybe you're violent. And then maybe you're like me. I've tried explaining it, but get no understanding. I have known for as long as I can remember that I am a big fat nothing. I was always worthless, but since my muscular dystrophy set in and put me in a wheelchair, I'm also completely useless as well. If a person has no use for any reason at all whatsoever, then why the hell does said person stick around? In a nutshell: I'm a failure. I've tried to end it. Many times. Yet I'm such a pathetic fuckup I couldn't even get that right.

Now what?

 

[Throwaway563078]

It gets to a point when you have to admit things to yourself. Maybe you're greedy. Maybe you're racist. Maybe you're violent. And then maybe you're like me. I've tried explaining it, but get no understanding. I have known for as long as I can remember that I am a big fat nothing. I was always worthless, but since my muscular dystrophy set in and put me in a wheelchair, I'm also completely useless as well. If a person has no use for any reason at all whatsoever, then why the hell does said person stick around? In a nutshell: I'm a failure. I've tried to end it. Many times. Yet I'm such a pathetic fuckup I couldn't even get that right.

Now what?

Aren't we all objectively useless though? We are all nothings in the big picture. Subjectively it's something else. I am sorry about your disorder you didn't ask for this. Take it easy on yourself please . Life is hard, cruel and unfair. You tried, . Killing yourself is not easy, we are literally built with this bullshit instinct to stay alive no matter what. It's a prison

For me yes I feel worthless or useless. If I quit my job ill feel even more useless. I've always struggled with these feelings and self esteem issues. But ironically more recently I am feeling more worthy, but life has been cruel. Worthy enough to find peace, wherever it may be

 

[Bleunoir]

I love this passage from Tolstoy's Confession. Sums it all up perfectly.
'My life came to a stop. I could breathe, eat, drink, and sleep; indeed, I could not help but breathe, eat, drink, and sleep. But there was no life in me because I had no desires whose satisfaction I would have found reasonable. If I wanted something, I knew beforehand that it did not matter whether or not I got it.
If a fairy had come and offered to fulfill my every wish, I would not have known what to wish for. If in moments of intoxica tion I should have not desires but the habits of old desires, in moments of sobriety I knew that it was all a delusion, that I really desired nothing. I did not even want to discover truth anymore because I had guessed what it was. The truth was that life is meaningless.'

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Yes. It seems that I am viewed as useless in the majority of circumstances except for when somebody wants help off of me. And then, suddenly, I am useful.

 

[Bleunoir]

I am useless as I don't work and don't contribute anything to this society . My husband is mentally abusive, gas lighting and undermining me all the time in front of our 12 year old . I feel I failed at everything in my life and being financially dependent does not help feeling better.
I know my child will be hurt if I ctb but in the long run that's the best solution. Her father manipulated her into believing that I am totally crazy so she will get over it .

 

[Julgran]

I have known for as long as I can remember that I am a big fat nothing. I was always worthless, but since my muscular dystrophy set in and put me in a wheelchair, I'm also completely useless as well. If a person has no use for any reason at all whatsoever, then why the hell does said person stick around? In a nutshell: I'm a failure. I've tried to end it. Many times. Yet I'm such a pathetic fuckup I couldn't even get that right.

Are you comparing yourself to someone or something else when you say that you are worthless? Compared to the cave people of yesteryear, you are far beyond what those people could accomplish or wish for. In my view, much hurt can come from comparing oneself to other people

I am useless as I don't work and don't contribute anything to this society . My husband is mentally abusive, gas lighting and undermining me all the time in front of our 12 year old . I feel I failed at everything in my life and being financially dependent does not help feeling better.
I know my child will be hurt if I ctb but in the long run that's the best solution. Her father manipulated her into believing that I am totally crazy so she will get over it .

Not having insight into your situation, you might be correct or not, but I would second-guess your conclusion that your child doesn't need you. At least, try to place her in the care of someone else, if you husband really is that abusive. I shouldn't give such advice, though, because, as I said, I have no idea what your situation is like.

 

[Bleunoir]

Are you comparing yourself to someone or something else when you say that you are worthless? Compared to the cave people of yesteryear, you are far beyond what those people could accomplish or wish for. In my view, much hurt can come from comparing oneself to other people



Not having insight into your situation, you might be correct or not, but I would second-guess your conclusion that your child doesn't need you. At least, try to place her in the care of someone else, if you husband really is that abusive. I shouldn't give such advice, though, because, as I said, I have no idea what your situation is like.

My husband is very smart and pretty good at manipulating. Took me years to realize that. People like us should have never brought a child into this world. It's just not fair to her. He's psychologically abusive and will Very skillfully make you believe you are not the normal one .

 

[Julgran]

I'm not one to place any judgment on you and your husband, or your resulting child, but if's any comfort for you, I would like to say that we all do what's best in any situation, which would mean that you had no other option that to give birth to and raise your child. It's easy to look at the situation in hindsight and say that you shouldn't have had your child, which may be true, but that cannot be changed now.

Also, there is no point in blaming you, but as your child, it would be terrifying to know that one of my parents ended their own life. I sincerely hope that you find the best path forward.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

Yes, yes. I am that. In fact, let me introduce myself properly. My full name is Irina Useless&Worthless.
Please, don't still my middle name

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yep. No desire to move ahead in life unless a miraculous entity decides to grant me someone who I'm attracted to who's also attracted to me. Since that's never going to happen I might as well accept that I'm never going to be productive or valuable to society. If anything, my existence is negatively impacting everyone in the world because of how much I wantonly consume.

 

[Pluto]

I'm useless except to pay a bit of tax and make my boss a bit richer (I tried to quit last week but was talked out of it). It amounts to nothing.

I genuinely wish I had a fulfilling place here that involved helping people or having any sort of quality of life. But I turned out to be the one needing help, which never came.

 

[Julgran]

I'm useless except to pay a bit of tax and make my boss a bit richer (I tried to quit last week but was talked out of it). It amounts to nothing.

I genuinely wish I had a fulfilling place here that involved helping people or having any sort of quality of life. But I turned out to be the one needing help, which never came.

Sometimes it helps others to help you. Thank you for being here!

 

[KTbear]

I have felt that way for as long as I can remember and spent most of my life trying to prove otherwise, without success. Straight As in college, using the first 7 years of my career to help people, volunteering for anything, getting promotions, somehow being a person people ask for advice on things, etc. Still feel useless and worthless.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I have felt that way for as long as I can remember and spent most of my life trying to prove otherwise, without success. Straight As in college, using the first 7 years of my career to help people, volunteering for anything, getting promotions, somehow being a person people ask for advice on things, etc. Still feel useless and worthless.

Seems to me you've done more than enough to stop calling yourself those unkind words. Not that I'm the one or anyone for that matter to judge when it's enough done and not enough to be considered worthy or something. But I feel ya. And I'm sorry

 

[Donk]

I haven't accomplished anything in my life so I am useless and worthless.

 

[smikey23]

even edgar allen poe felt worthless most of his life, yet you have him as your avatar! he was not by the way. hop-frog is my favorite of his short stories.

 

[KTbear]

Seems to me you've done more than enough to stop calling you yourself those unkind words. Not that I'm the one or anyone for that matter to judge when it's enough done and not enough to be considered worthy or something. But I feel ya. And I'm sorry

Aww thanks. Thing is, it's never enough. I am exceent at seeing what I do wrong.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

Yes, I feel extremely worthless & useless. I'd leave it there, but to be sure this isn't a a "low effort" post I don't like myself, I don't think anyone else really likes me or cares- and I don't expect anyone too. If I simply no longer existed, nothing would change for anyone, it (I) simply don't matter.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

Aww thanks. Thing is, it's never enough. I am exceent at seeing what I do wrong.

Your inner critic must be very powerful. Let it rest a bit, maybe? And try to look at yourself from a positive angle.