Are you autistic?

[banger12]

I only ask because I myself am autistic and I've heard claims that neurodivergent people tend to struggle more with mental health and are over-represented in CTB and other things of the sort. I know this is very unscientific but was curious to test that claim. I was diagnosed at a young age and I've recently started better understanding how much that has impacted my life. Thanks for any participation, I'm sorry if this is too personal.
And yes I voted in my own poll, for sake of transparency ig I thought it'd be good to disclose that.

 

[derpyderpins]

Looking that way but I put "maybe" for now.

 

[banger12]

Looking that way but I put "maybe" for now.

Fair enough. Thank you for your participation, I appreciate it! :D

 

[sserafim]

Yes (clinically diagnosed) but I don't feel like I am. I'm probably schizoid rather than autistic

 

[mediocre]

yes I have it and I am stuck in my head 24/7 and I can't escape :( can't function at all I am trapped.. nothing is ever right.. there is always something to struggle with or be anxious about. I can never really relax.
I wouldn't wish it on anyone !

 

[GuessWhosBack]

I don't think so, my therapist suggested I might be on the spectrum but relatively unaffected. The RAADS-R scores me well below the threshold. I don't fully trust the test to be conclusive though, and it is more of a pre-diagnostic rather than a diagnostic tool. I was never assessed in person by a specialist, and do not think I am autistic. Different, somehow, for sure, but not sure if it's autism.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Never diagnosed but I'm sure I fall somewhere in the spectrum. My parents didn't have money to get me tested.
Health care sucks when you are poor.

 

[eatantz]

yes, i got diagnosed at 16

 

[derpyderpins]

Never diagnosed but I'm sure I fall somewhere in the spectrum. My parents didn't have money to get me tested.
Health care sucks when you are poor.

It's tough. Very hard even with insurance because it seems like most of the people willing to test an adult aren't in network. Screenings are helpful! At least to understand the neurodiversity.

 

[banger12]

yes I have it and I am stuck in my head 24/7 and I can't escape :( can't function at all I am trapped.. nothing is ever right.. there is always something to struggle with or be anxious about. I can never really relax.
I wouldn't wish it on anyone !

hello fellow autistic individual. Yeah, I definitely feel you. It gets romanticized a lot these days, and although I think there are benefits and that autism is not necessarily bad there are definitely very serious negative consequences (like the ones you listed) that get overlooked as a result of how pop culture currently treats it. I feel in certain ways better off and in others worse off but autistic suffering is very real and gets ignored I think.

Never diagnosed but I'm sure I fall somewhere in the spectrum. My parents didn't have money to get me tested.
Health care sucks when you are poor.

I feel that. That's rough. So sorry.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes and I'm certainly not meant for something as cruel as existence, existing has only ever caused me to suffer, for me it'll always be so tiring and dreadful to exist. I wish I could just painlessly not exist but really I wish I could erase my existence, I want it to be like I never existed at all.

 

[emma99]

You know what i often think about modern "multi cultured" society.
it tries to force communities to integrate and co exist.

but I was watching a video one day on a family who took home schooling to the next level with their autistic kid. They basically discovered that without the structure of school, the child was able to adjust to the randomness of homeschooling. The structure had become slightly chaotic. but the kid was basically learning by doing whatever he wanted to do.

I think the problem with "mental health" is not the mindset of the diagnosed. but rather the mindset of the undiagnosed who try to indoctrinate outsiders into their way of living.

And although this may sound extreme, why not juts build an "autistic city" so if your autistic, you get to go live in a designated town for the autistic. Because do you know what i think, I think the autistic people, the Down syndrome, the schizophrenics, and all the other "crazies" should be the ones ruling the world Because the 'normal' folk are doing such a shit job. Give the job to those who know full well what suffering is like.

Personally if i became president. I would get rid of every psychiatrist, and replace them all with psychologists.

 

[banger12]

You know what i often think about modern "multi cultured" society.
it tries to force communities to integrate and co exist.

but I was watching a video one day on a family who took home schooling to the next level with their autistic kid. They basically discovered that without the structure of school, the child was able to adjust to the randomness of homeschooling. The structure had become slightly chaotic. but the kid was basically learning by doing whatever he wanted to do.

I think the problem with "mental health" is not the mindset of the diagnosed. but rather the mindset of the general population. and although this may sound extreme, why not juts build an "autistic city" so if your autistic, you get to go live in a designated town for the autistic.

Interesting idea. Could you link the video? And yeah, I feel like the demands of the non-diagnosed general public/majority hurt autistics, especially in education in which clueless parents and members of the public get mad when the system doesn't conform to what they want it to be. Plus non autistic kids were pretty vicious in my experience growing up.

 

[emma99]

Interesting idea. Could you link the video? And yeah, I feel like the demands of the non-diagnosed general public/majority hurt autistics, especially in education in which clueless parents and members of the public get mad when the system doesn't conform to what they want it to be. Plus non autistic kids were pretty vicious in my experience growing up.

I truly believe that autistic people are not a problem, the problem is actually modern living, and the expectations society put on autistic people. I mean iv known many gypsy people in my life time, and forgive me if i sound like im being racist as i mean that in a good way but if you have ever met a gypsy, its like meeting someone who has a very specific mental health illness.

They have all told me the same thing, if the government stopped treating them as a second class minority and actually just allowed them to live as nomads, they would be much happier. They don't want to live in towns and cities. They want horses and dogs, and to be able to roam free in their caravans, but modern society frowns upon that idea and tries to force them to intergrate.
It would be the same thing with the native americans or the amish

 

[Mirrory Me]

Maybe or maybe not. I got diagnosed at a young age, but then again I was actually lying while I was answering the test. This could be because of ADHD.

 

[Imagined_Euphoria]

Yes, asperger. Diagnosed at 10.

 

[emma99]

Maybe or maybe not. I got diagnosed at a young age, but then again I was actually lying while I was answering the test. This could be because of ADHD.

HAHAHAHA, I remember my mother had me tested for dyslexia so i could get some school exceptions from things like spelling and grammar.

I was only a child, it was actually incredible easy to lie.

one test was a picture test of a child going down a slide. and there was like 5 pictures which i had to arrange in logical order. I mean come on, that,s like easiest test, so i just made sure to "em i don't know" looking back it probably wasnt the best move. but then again, i was raised by a single mother who didn't want me to succeed in life, and actually encouraged failure and punished any sort of success.

At one stage i was skipped a grade in piano as i was that good, and in return my mother fobid me to practice at home. i quickly gave up the piano.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, I'm autistic. I got diagnosed when I was a child. In my case, I'm suicidal because of how life isn't meant for me. That's all I can say really. I don't know how to be more specific than that. Life truly isn't meant for me. Being a human isn't meant for me. The average life that people go through isn't meant for me. I can't, nor do I want to, deal with it. My true nature is to be permanently lazy and chilling in bed. I'm not meant to work or put in effort. I get massively stressed when I am forced to put in effort.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Sadly

 

[Mirrory Me]

HAHAHAHA, I remember my mother had me tested for dyslexia so i could get some school exceptions from things like spelling and grammar.

I was only a child, it was actually incredible easy to lie.

one test was a picture test of a child going down a slide. and there was like 5 pictures which i had to arrange in logical order. I mean come on, that,s like easiest test, so i just made sure to "em i don't know" looking back it probably wasnt the best move. but then again, i was raised by a single mother who didn't want me to succeed in life, and actually encouraged failure and punished any sort of success.

At one stage i was skipped a grade in piano as i was that good, and in return my mother fobid me to practice at home. i quickly gave up the piano.

Yea... I was actually so young myself that I didn't realize how it could impact the rest of my life... School wasn't really my strongest point so to speak.

Also some time ago I also realized that I could have just as well learned to play the piano, perhaps study and make it as a career, but I typically hesitated that dream.

I guess you never get those "lost moments" back, but you could still try to learn to play some piano if you want to

 

[emma99]

I guess you never get those "lost moments" back, but you could still try to learn to play some piano if you want to

That's so true, however i'm being evicted into homelessness. and if i'm honest with myself. its not going to be a nice experience.

Its so hard to find a place to live. and iv already invested in so much technology for a caree i want to pursue. And the bastards are taking my dream away from me.

I never dreamt or had the confidence to do anything with my life.
It took me a very long time to discover what i wanted to do with myself.
and now the bastards are throwing me onto the street.

Fuck that. As ole Jimmy Hendrix said "Im outta here"

 

[kinderbueno]

Unfortunately yes. I hate having autism I don't see it as a "superpower" nor do I see any benefits to having autism. It just makes life unnecessarily harder than it's meant to be

 

[Mirrory Me]

That's so true, however i'm being evicted into homelessness. and if i'm honest with myself. its not going to be a nice experience.

Its so hard to find a place to live. and iv already invested in so much technology for a caree i want to pursue. And the bastards are taking my dream away from me.

I never dreamt or had the confidence to do anything with my life.
It took me a very long time to discover what i wanted to do with myself.
and now the bastards are throwing me onto the street.

Fuck that. As ole Jimmy Hendrix said "Im outta here"

I know the feeling, I've also had similar situations in my life, where I've somehow thought that I have a very clear and developed picture of how I should proceed in life, but then its foundations somehow fell apart or crumbled (I've messed up or caused harm to myself and those around me, I got disapproving looks, evictions, etc.). In life, conditions can sometimes change (just like the weather in the sky), but for that everyone should have their own place to stay. Just look for a new apartment and try to learn from the past.

 

[emma99]

Just look for a new apartment and try to learn from the past.

I only it was that easy :/

 

[Mirrory Me]

I only it was that easy :/

Yes, you will need some strength when material conditions will change in life. Try to be frugal and otherwise resourceful with money, it should be helpful when looking for the apartment.

 

[banger12]

I truly believe that autistic people are not a problem, the problem is actually modern living, and the expectations society put on autistic people. I mean iv known many gypsy people in my life time, and forgive me if i sound like im being racist as i mean that in a good way but if you have ever met a gypsy, its like meeting someone who has a very specific mental health illness.

They have all told me the same thing, if the government stopped treating them as a second class minority and actually just allowed them to live as nomads, they would be much happier. They don't want to live in towns and cities. They want horses and dogs, and to be able to roam free in their caravans, but modern society frowns upon that idea and tries to force them to intergrate.
It would be the same thing with the native americans or the amish

Thank you. Interesting insight. Sorry for late reply

Yes, I'm autistic. I got diagnosed when I was a child. In my case, I'm suicidal because of how life isn't meant for me. That's all I can say really. I don't know how to be more specific than that. Life truly isn't meant for me. Being a human isn't meant for me. The average life that people go through isn't meant for me. I can't, nor do I want to, deal with it. My true nature is to be permanently lazy and chilling in bed. I'm not meant to work or put in effort. I get massively stressed when I am forced to put in effort.

I understand how it feels to feel as though you're incompatible with the world around you. I'm so sorry

Unfortunately yes. I hate having autism I don't see it as a "superpower" nor do I see any benefits to having autism. It just makes life unnecessarily harder than it's meant to be

I know how that feels. I always heard that "superpower" line at school when I was younger from clueless teachers and admins and it always bothered me. They clearly have no concept of tge level of isolation felt by so e autistic people.

 

[sugarb]

Yep. kinda sucks ngl. glad to be semi high functioning at least

Suicide - Autism research | Autistica | Autistica

Autistica is funding research to understand suicidality in autism

www.autistica.org.uk

There's some pretty freaky research on CTB and autism if you're curious.

According to these folks about 6/10 autistic adults have considered it, 3/10 have attempted, and an estimated 11-41% of successful suicides quote "may be autistic" or have autistic traits.

The exact severity of this isn't clear since the research is a bit spotty but it's definitely a thing. not to mention most demographics with high CTB rates (loners, trans, incels, etc) are generally speaking highly autistic

 

[banger12]

Yep. kinda sucks ngl. glad to be semi high functioning at least

Suicide - Autism research | Autistica | Autistica

Autistica is funding research to understand suicidality in autism

www.autistica.org.uk

There's some pretty freaky research on CTB and autism if you're curious.

According to these folks about 6/10 autistic adults have considered it, 3/10 have attempted, and an estimated 11-41% of successful suicides quote "may be autistic" or have autistic traits.

The exact severity of this isn't clear since the research is a bit spotty but it's definitely a thing. not to mention most demographics with high CTB rates (loners, trans, incels, etc) are generally speaking highly autistic

That is so dark and depressing but thank you for sending this, I am so curious.

 

[alltoomuch2]

Yes. Recently diagnosed at 60yrs old. Sad about the many years where I blamed myself for not fitting in and all the other difficulties. Still learning and trying to find me, but also recently diagnosed BPD and C-PTSD to go with my anxiety disorder. My life hasn't been much fun tbh.

 

[sugarb]

That is so dark and depressing but thank you for sending this, I am so curious.

Sure thing, autisibling. much love

it's really no surprise unfortunately. I suggest doing a bit of research on it if you'd like to get the full picture. Fair warning it's very grim and might get you reevaluating your life a bit lol

according to one study (google a bit you should find it) NTs will form negative opinions of autistics near-instantaneously based off of voice mannerisms and body language, regardless of speech content. Giving NT subjects written transcripts of the autistic speakers resulted in no difference in ratings. Meaning you can be the most polite and intelligent autistic in the world and they'll still see an incompetent retard if you don't smile enough or stand right

another fun fact- we're generally extremely isolated, hilariously unemployed, and most of us can't drive!

Yes. Recently diagnosed at 60yrs old. Sad about the many years where I blamed myself for not fitting in and all the other difficulties. Still learning and trying to find me, but also recently diagnosed BPD and C-PTSD to go with my anxiety disorder. My life hasn't been much fun tbh.

i'm sorry. I was diagnosed fairly young but didn't actually realize my issues went deeper than ADHD until I was made aware of autism being the disability that got me accommodations when I was 16-17, so i understand the feeling of "why am I such a fuck up?"

I wish the world was kinder to us. hope you're well