N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 7,199
Each half a year a charity comes to my house to ask for money. I am embarrassed every single time when I say I don't work and I am disabled. Theoretically I could give money. But instead I want to save it. I am really stingy. And I don't trust charities. You hear stories that the money sometimes get abused. And I hate that notion. It is probably better when other people don't adapt my take on it.
This time they anticipated I will say that I don't have money. But they wanted me to come to a meet-up with neighbors. I sort of panicked. I fear other people. And I am anxious of my neighbors. I told the person I had a meeting of my self-help group this evening. And this also was the truth. I think these people are quite honest in what they do. At least the ones that knock at doors. They sound concerned about me. But I cannot stop replaying the conversations I have with them. They make me so fucking uncomfortable.
Edit: I think I was just ghosted by a very interesting person with a very interesting friend group. And I will never have certainty. I despise texting/dating so much when it comes to such situations. And it isn't that uncommon. In general all of that is so toxic for my mental health. I ask myself what I did wrong for the next few days at least...and self-loath me imagining the worst.
This time they anticipated I will say that I don't have money. But they wanted me to come to a meet-up with neighbors. I sort of panicked. I fear other people. And I am anxious of my neighbors. I told the person I had a meeting of my self-help group this evening. And this also was the truth. I think these people are quite honest in what they do. At least the ones that knock at doors. They sound concerned about me. But I cannot stop replaying the conversations I have with them. They make me so fucking uncomfortable.
Edit: I think I was just ghosted by a very interesting person with a very interesting friend group. And I will never have certainty. I despise texting/dating so much when it comes to such situations. And it isn't that uncommon. In general all of that is so toxic for my mental health. I ask myself what I did wrong for the next few days at least...and self-loath me imagining the worst.
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