Are you a fuck up?

[kiuya]

Aren't we all?

 

[...]

can't help but sabotage myself. but got to the point where i no longer care if i hurt people. i've been dealt too much pain

 

[ollo]

Not just the touch, its presence of me itself casts a deadly plague all around me..

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Absolutely not! I have high self esteem today.

 

[stellabelle]

Aren't we all?

I'd have to agree.
To a point, sure.
And to a point, no.

People say "life is what you make it" - which is not always true.

Have I "screwed up" before? Yes. Have I tried to have better situations? Yes. Have I worked as hard as I could? Yes. Have I dealt with enough? Yes.

I am so burned out on it all.

I feel remorseful. For being here or anywhere at all. For attempting to allow shit disturbers to "help" which their version was… LIES. Theft. LIES. Invasiveness. LIES. Playing "keep away", with MONEY, JOBS, STABILITY, HOUSING….
Things that "matter"
And I could see through it.
But I was "shut down" from getting ANYWHERE at all.
Repeatedly.
I have those grudges and always will.
It's proved itself. Stupid little fuckin cunts will always be stupid little fuckin cunts.
And then the "attention" "competition" of "shit disturbers" disturbing shit.

 

[meetapple]

I feel like I am a moron and that everyone wants to remind me of that at all times.

 

[luten]

100%, since childhood

 

[Callie Arcale]

They say that everything happens for a reason. In my case, the reason is that I make bad decisions and I'm deeply flawed.

 

[8evergo]

I always thought something like that happened only to me

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I feel like I've been a fuck up since 2019 or so, how I haven't ctb or found this forum sooner surprises even me.

 

[miserableforever]

Everything I touch eventually turns to shit …

Same. Social anxiety and later on full blown BPD made sure of it. Here I am with 2 university degrees, a failed marriage, and a shit job cause I can't convince myself I'm better than that. I modeled many years ago but developed Body Dysmorphia and quit that too. I know this isn't a competition thread but God… So much to just lol :(

 

[MindFog]

Yeah.. I think I was meant to be one anyways. Being born a neurodivergent in a lower class family shuts down alot of opportunities in life.. That and it sucks here.

Still turned out better than expected tho but I'm still a fuck up.. Maybe even if I was in a better situation, I'd still be one. I'm just too weak to survive I guess.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Yeah.. I think I was meant to be one anyways. Being born a neurodivergent in a lower class family shuts down alot of opportunities in life.. That and it sucks here.

Still turned out better than expected tho but I'm still a fuck up.. Maybe even if I was in a better situation, I'd still be one. I'm just too weak to survive I guess.

Man I relate to this so much. I was born to a lower class family that took out their anger out on me. It is like they resent I was even born in the first place.

There was very little chance of me making it in life. It used to trigger the hell out of me when I saw happy families in public smiling and laughing together. Because I knew when I got home there was a good chance I was going to get abused. These days it doesn't even bother me. I may have just given up on life by this point.

 

[miserableforever]

Man I relate to this so much. I was born to a lower class family that took out their anger out on me. It is like they resent I was even born in the first place.

There was very little chance of me making it in life. It used to trigger the hell out of me when I saw happy families in public smiling and laughing together. Because I knew when I got home there was a good chance I was going to get abused. These days it doesn't even bother me. I may have just given up on life by this point.

Exactly the same for me. We were insanely poor. I tried to be the first in my family to actually get out of poverty. When I graduated my mom turned against me, out of envy, I guess.

 

[MindFog]

There was very little chance of me making it in life. It used to trigger the hell out of me when I saw happy families in public smiling and laughing together. Because I knew when I got home there was a good chance I was going to get abused. These days it doesn't even bother me. I may have just given up on life by this point.

I think a lot of people tend to underestimate the effect of financial stability to one's mental health.. And it gets worse when you can't do it anything but bare it like; like impoverish children. That doesn't excuse any of the abuse tho. I don't even know if my own parents considered it a such. I guess we're just lucky we can indentify it as abuse so the cycle won't continue...

I'm sorry you have to go through that.. I hope things get better for you.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I think a lot of people tend to underestimate the effect of financial stability to one's mental health.. And it gets worse when you can't do it anything but bare it like; like impoverish children. That doesn't excuse any of the abuse tho. I don't even know if my own parents considered it a such. I guess we're just lucky we can indentify it as abuse so the cycle won't continue...

I'm sorry you have to go through that.. I hope things get better for you.

Yeah poverty really does ruin your chances growing up. Poor people really shouldn't be having kids in the first place. But it is controversial to say out loud for some reason. It is so selfish to expect others to be grateful for a shitty life they never even asked for.

Exactly the same for me. We were insanely poor. I tried to be the first in my family to actually get out of poverty. When I graduated my mom turned against me, out of envy, I guess.

That is so messed up your mom can't even be happy for you. I remember our utilities getting cut off all the time and scary looking people coming around looking for their money. Why the hell would you bring a child into this kind of life? It makes no sense.

 

[ikadasui]

100%. I take comfort in the fact that a huge portion of the blame lies on my parents feet for being genetically diseased animals that shouldn't of seen the light of day

 

[eternalmelancholy]

100%. I take comfort in the fact that a huge portion of the blame lies on my parents feet for being genetically diseased animals that shouldn't of seen the light of day

Do your parents also downplay or out right deny their negative influence on your life? It seems like a common theme with narcissists.

 

[Elegy]

Know what "Midas touch" means? Cool. I am, the antithesis of that.

 

[ikadasui]

Do your parents also downplay or out right deny their negative influence on your life? It seems like a common theme with narcissists.

Wish I knew. I'm adopted which makes it even worse lmao. Imagine passing on your shit mental illness and genes and then offloading the bastard child to somebody else so you have to take 0 responsibility for your monumental irreversible fuck up

 

[grungeCat]

Yes, definitely

 

[bad_luck]

Yes absolutely. I believe I'm just a natural loser.

 

[Gurtinukkk]

Everything I touch eventually turns to shit …

yes. 100% yes.

 

[StringPuppet]

I'm the fuck up

 

[happy1234]

i constantly destroy everything in my life for no reason. i have dug such a hole for myself that it seems that death is the only solution.

 

[Samsara]

I'd say objectively no, because I don't know how to NOT work hard. But I am a fuck-up in terms of my ability to manage my emotions in relationships lol. Which, given their importance to me, I suppose makes me a fuck-up