Are You 100% Suicidal?

[MatrixPrisoner]

If not, what percentage would you say your likelihood is? If you are, do you recall when you became 100%? Please try to make a true and honest assessment before answering.

 

[MythicalGriff]

Not yet. But I will be if I can't get help soon. I need to make sure there's nothing else I can do first.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Not yet. But I will be if I can't get help soon. I need to make sure there's nothing else I can do first.

I used to feel the same way. That technically, there always something you can do. The game isn't over until we're dead. But over time I just ran out of energy to keep going. Got old. It's over for me. 100%

 

[兎の耳]

80% maybe? There's a part of me that doesn't want to give up and thinks things can get better. I hate that part of myself. Every time I listen to it and start to care again I end up getting hurt and every time the pain is worse.

Eventually I'll get rid of the last few vestiges of hope and be ready to let go.

 

[bqhh]

I use to be like 90 percent but it has gone down a bit since I'll be starting a job Monday but I feel like if the job doesn't work out or other things I'll probably still go through with it I've had my SN for like 2 weeks now

 

[MythicalGriff]

I used to feel the same way. That technically, there always something you can do. The game isn't over until we're dead. But over time I just ran out of energy to keep going. Got old. It's over for me. 100%

I'm sorry man. I wish there was something I could do to help. I understand that hopeless feeling and the exhaustion after giving up. I've been there before and I really don't want to hit that point again. Best of luck to you.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Yes.
Too many things wrong that can never be put right.
Absolutely no hope of a future.
It's inevitable that I'll be gone sometime soon.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

80% maybe? There's a part of me that doesn't want to give up and thinks things can get better. I hate that part of myself. Every time I listen to it and start to care again I end up getting hurt and every time the pain is worse.

Eventually I'll get rid of the last few vestiges of hope and be ready to let go.

I agree I'm only happy with 0 or 100.No in between.

I use to be like 90 percent but it has gone down a bit since I'll be starting a job Monday but I feel like if the job doesn't work out or other things I'll probably still go through with it I've had my SN for like 2 weeks now

If getting new job shaved off 10%, then you just need to find 9 more jobs .

...all joking aside, I hope the job is awesome and allows you to continue going. Try to make the best of it and give it a chance, even it doesn't seem like your cup of tea from the beginning.

 

[zombiegirl]

95%. there'd have to be a miracle for me to wanna keep going

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

95%. there'd have to be a miracle for me to wanna keep going

I hope you get it.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

90%. Too many problems, especially the medical ones, are not solveable. The pain is going to be with me forever, constantly. The only functional human relationships I have left are my parents, and I am burdening them every day. I realized a long time ago that for whatever reason I am incapable of succeeding, despite the opportunities I've been given. Mentally I am severely defective and can't stop falling into addicitvie cycles no matter what I try.

A few (or maybe even several) months from now I'm sure I won't be here anymore. I'll be somewhere far away.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

What kind of physical pain and addictions are you having, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[higherthanthesun]

Probably like 73%, I've been a lot worse

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Yes.
Too many things wrong that can never be put right.
Absolutely no hope of a future.
It's inevitable that I'll be gone sometime soon.

Same here. I'm up to my gills in stupid debt. Too old and have no energy left to even try and chop away at it. Sick of it all. 100 percent for me.

Probably like 73%, I've been a lot worse

Very precise number lol. You seem like you've been measuring your fluctuations for quite some time.

 

[Undertow Mermaid]

I'd say about 80%

I still have a few attachments in my life such as my pets (my family wouldn't take good care of them). I have a boyfriend but he's sometimes really awful to me, I know I don't have much to offer though so I used to think taking the bad for the larger amount of good would be a fine way to live my life. I'm getting more tired though, the few friends I had were'mt as close to me as I was to them. I have one best friend, he's already attempted to ctb and I know that he'll try again.

If I didn't have the few little pieces of treasures in my life to guard I would have exited.

 

[BlockHammer]

42% for me, i still want to experience 9 to 5 jobs just so i can make my own assesment about this life. Although, sometimes the thought of suicide crossed my mind, i still had some hope about a better life (or it could be just my delusion)

Another thing is i want to played a certain game, also waiting for a manga series to end but who knows, maybe in 3 or 4 years im going to commit suicide :)

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I'd say about 80%

I still have a few attachments in my life such as my pets (my family wouldn't take good care of them). I have a boyfriend but he's sometimes really awful to me, I know I don't have much to offer though so I used to think taking the bad for the larger amount of good would be a fine way to live my life. I'm getting more tired though, the few friends I had were'mt as close to me as I was to them. I have one best friend, he's already attempted to ctb and I know that he'll try again.

If I didn't have the few little pieces of treasures in my life to guard I would have exited.

Maybe "one best friend" should become boyfriend and "boyfriend" should get kicked to the curb

 

[Forever Sleep]

At my best, I'm probably still 65% suicidal. I still think longterm, it's my best option. At my worst- maybe 90%. All that's keeping me here is obligation. On average, I'm probably 80%. Just treading water as best I can. Still able to enjoy some things about life but overall, it isn't worth it and I do really want out.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

When I signed up I was 95% suicidal but after joining this community and the help of psychiatrists am at a 20%

 

[ijustwishtodie]

50%? I know that seems low but it isn't because I believe life would get better or whatever. I literally don't have the energy or courage or strength to arrange a ctb method for myself so all my suicidality manifested as only passive suicidal ideation and not active and I'm forced to live

 

[suicidal flapper]

I keep going back and fourth on my decision but I think the end result will be my death so I just go about as if I am completely certain

I'd say I'm 70-75%

 

[BlazingBob]

Absolutely 100%. I've run the numbers over and over. I'm fucked on too many levels, including physical, mental, and financial problems. I'm tired and just don't want to be here anymore. Isn't that enough?

 

[Lookoutbelow]

99%. MatrixPrisoner I don't know your age, but I am 53. I also feel too old to even attempt to turn things around. If life hasn't turned out OK for me by now, it sure as shit isn't going to magically get better from here. I will most likely jump to my death within two months.

 

[Raindancer]

When I first found this site and was lurking, I was very desperate, but still unsure so I'd say 50%. Currently overall I am doing better so 25% would be about right. I am still struggling with things in my mind, but I am also thinking of methods.

 

[todeswunsch]

Something between 43.78% to 99.49%.
It depends on the day, and hour of the day. This wide range drives me crazy.
I can't get motivation to live and fix problems since I want to die, but I can't die since I'm less suicidal at times when I have enough energy to do it.
Aaaaaaahh!

 

[ursaminor]

I'm getting pretty close to 100%. Might be at 80% now, and I'm expecting it to rise as I'm only getting more sick of the many mental problems I was born with, as well as the state of the world.

 

[Kit1]

I yoyo from 60% to 99%. I am trying to cling on for my children - but I have to admit that some days (like right now when I am probably about 80%), I cannot see myself clinging on for too long. Unfortunately I don't have a support structure to turn to (I had a good GP who kept an eye on me, but it didn't work out) and will be surprised if I am here by end of the year. Unfortunately when I do go, it will probably be unplanned - usually when I am at 99%, I always find myself at the top of a cliff/mountain, taking an overdose - but at this point, I would reach out to the GP and as that is no longer there, next time I will be gone. But will try and hang on for as long as possible.

 

[Neogoloid]

100%, actively practicing for it. I practice for it now more than I talk about it, which means I'm definitely on my way out the door.

 

[ringo99]

100%. Got my SN. Just waiting for my mom's surgery and her recovery to be done.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes of course. To eternally cease existing is all I truly wish for and wanting to die is all that makes sense to me. Existence is just a harmful imposition, and I'd always prefer the absence of everything to suffering in this hellish reality. The thought of being enslaved in this existence for potentially many more years fills me with dread, all that existence is, is undesirable and meaningless suffering yet one cannot suffer from the absence of everything. It's comforting to think of no longer being burdened with existence.