Are there any ways we can make it easier for our family after we ctb?

[looking_for_peace]

My biggest fear is that my parents will go crazy or something after I ctb. of course my death would shake them, but I don't want to ruin the entire family. In the best-case scenario, they would be somewhat normal again after a few years. They would reminisce occasionally but not drive themselves mad. I wonder if there's anything I could do to facilitate this if such a thing is possible. Even the tiny details, such as whether or not we leave a note seem to matter. What do you all think?

 

[FuneralCry]

At least to me, I don't really think that there is much that can be done to make it easier, but I would see it as being beneficial to leave a note, so at least they may have some sort of explanation and closure and it may mean that they are left with less unanswered questions. But grief and loss are simply an inevitable consequence of bringing life into this world, and even if we don't ctb we will all die and lose everything someday no matter what. Also whatever happens in this world after we are gone could never be our concern as we simply won't be there at that point.

 

[purplehearted]

Agree with FuneralCry's response, there isn't much you can do but provide a note with an explanation to hopefully provide some closure and prevent them from blaming themselves. I think maybe reassuring them that you're in a better place now may be helpful as well. Most parents will spiral by blaming themselves and trying to find ways they could have helped/noticed the signs so possibly reassuring that they were great parents and they shouldn't blame themselves would help them move on.

 

[Unending]

I worry about this excessively as well and it is the main barrier towards ctb'ing at the moment. I feel like one of my parents specifically would go mad for the rest of their life for sure. Well, like Fc stated, this is definitely a consequence of their actions. Still though, it's hard to pull the metaphorical trigger when I know what will follow for others. I wish too that there was some list to complete that would make it easier.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Most recover to a "new normal" life. Many parents of children who commit suicide even find a new purpose in their lives by becoming active in groups that work to reduce suicide.

 

[SamTam33]

From the moment they give birth, parents are guaranteeing the child will die.

They aren't guaranteed a healthy baby, or a happy or successful child. The only guarantee is death.

They probably thought you'd have to watch them die, but there's nothing wrong with flipping the script.

It should be noted that I blame my parents 100% for my predicament, so any suffering/sadness they might experience is of their own making (but mine won't be that sad).

I do think it's commendable when people with decent parents consider their well-being and a letter explaining your choice would be thoughtful.

 

[Sasel]

no

 

[PurpleBlack]

my family has seen me suffer for years and know I am done. i hope that in the end they will be happy my suffering is over

 

[kallemi]

i'm not a huge final note person, but i do want to save up enough money for my parents to cremate me bc i know dealing w someone who died can get super expensive

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd definitely say a note would be a comfort. I've cherished notes people left for me (after natural deaths.) Also- I'd say- if you live with them- maybe it's kinder to go somewhere else to do it- save them the shock of finding a body.

I guess it depends on your situation and them really. For me, I'm hanging on (if I can) for my Dad to go first. After he's gone- it will only be step relations and distant family/friends left for me. I want it to be as least hassle for them as possible. My solicitors will act as executors for the will. They will arrange a house clearance service to get rid of my stuff. I'll prepay for a cremation service.

I'll also ask the police to go from my ID and dental records in the hopes they don't ask someone to identify my body. I don't know if they'll do this but hopefully they will- I'll be dieing at home if I do it.

If my Dad were still alive- it would likely be different. It might give him more closure to deal with my stuff and arrange a funeral. Still- I guess we can make it easier for them by reducing the amount they need to go through- organizing it all.

I think so many of us struggle with the impact it is likely to leave on those left behind. It's a horrible dilemma- I agree.

 

[itsallpointless]

Make it look like an accident?

 

[LeavingInPeace]

Make it look like an accident?

Yess this will be my plan. Finding a clever way to simply disappear... enjoying a dose of N after paddling out miles into the ocean? Many details need to be dialed in before of course. Adding the N to my canteen? Hmmm