Discussion Are there any hikikomori or recluse in our community?

[I am ___________]

If you are comfortable discussing it, would you list your reasons for how you became one and why you have decided that suicide is an option that you are leaning towards? As one myself I am very much interested in the experience of other hikikomori/recluses and how they got to where they are now.

 

[littlelady774]

I had to look up what hikikomori was.
Yeah- I would consider myself this- I am very introverted, and don't like to socialize much.
I could probably go a few weeks not talking to anyone and be just fine.

The reason I may be like this is because I'm not exactly too confident during social situations. I feel like I say and do the wrong thing a lot of the time.
I prefer to be alone because it's more comfortable and predictable that way. It's very peaceful. With making close friends, you just never know what's gonna happen or if someone will suddenly stab you in the back :(

 

[Broken]

I've been a recluse for years. Finally started to feel like I'd found a place and people that I fitted with. Now they've gone I've realised I'm not a recluse but I'm alone!

 

[Morpheus]

Yup. Same here. Social anxiety leads to agoraphobia. Then you realize you haven't talked to anyone in a completely unacceptable amount of time. That you're all. Alone. in. This.
What was once a choice has become a sort of sentence.

 

[the_inbetween]

Trauma at a young age, sexual abuse, bullying. I am not really a people person for the most part although I can develop weak positive feelings for some people. I tend to like people though on average.

 

[Anon2662]

Extreme anxiety, leading to agoraphobia... also hear voices and have a lot of professionals plotting against me so it is now unsafe for me to go out.. only ever go out with someone and that may be once every few weeks.. for all of those reasons and the fact it hasn't gotten any better (in fact it's got worse) ctb is my only option left.

 

[Apathy79]

I describe myself as a hermit and have been for a decade or so now. I often don't talk to another person for months at a time (10 months last year). And don't live near anyone. I hadn't heard of hikikomori but it looks to be describing me.

As to how I got here, what drove me to the life was an inward spiritual search to remove all attachments to anything in the world, including the mind itself. To that end, socialising and involvement/investment in the world hindered the goal. Also being an introvert who works online with no interest in sex, relationships or having kids helped. Yet now I'm on the internet all the time, I have to question what the point was. I assume the next move will be to somewhere without it either.

In relation to suicide, I don't consider myself suicidal in the sense that others here are suicidal. But my goal is enlightenment, which is a state in which the body won't be able to function, and without anyone nearby to keep it alive, will result in death. So the end I guess is the same.

 

[Xaphous]

Yes me, involuntarily. Practically Lifelong.

 

[the_inbetween]

I describe myself as a hermit and have been for a decade or so now. I often don't talk to another person for months at a time (10 months last year). And don't live near anyone. I hadn't heard of hikikomori but it looks to be describing me.

As to how I got here, what drove me to the life was an inward spiritual search to remove all attachments to anything in the world, including the mind itself. To that end, socialising and involvement/investment in the world hindered the goal. Also being an introvert who works online with no interest in sex, relationships or having kids helped. Yet now I'm on the internet all the time, I have to question what the point was. I assume the next move will be to somewhere without it either.

In relation to suicide, I don't consider myself suicidal in the sense that others here are suicidal. But my goal is enlightenment, which is a state in which the body won't be able to function, and without anyone nearby to keep it alive, will result in death. So the end I guess is the same.

Dude whats you job. Working online sounds sweet. How'd you get into it, learning what particular skills.

 

[Apathy79]

Back when I had a real job, I started downloading torrents of online marketing courses and taking it all in. Then I quit and traveled a lot. As I went, I'd stay at places whose marketing was terrible and show them how to improve it. And every now and then one would hire me to either fix something or do some other work. And slowly built up a client base. I still don't make much money, but I don't work much either and don't need much to live like I do now so I can spend time on other things.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I am reclusive but not through choice, because of illness and lack of support. I feel like little more than a battery, left alive in order to keep supporting a system that has almost abandoned me, pushed away into a quiet corner so no-one has to witness.

 

[Cave Johnson]

Had to look up hikikomori tbh. Yeah i describes me fairly well. Anxiety makes me not do well with people in general Once a week I'm supposed to meet up with people, but I will often cancel or say I'm not going to show up because I just can't deal with it. I'm pretty well introverted.

 

[BPD Barbie]

There is a interesting documentary on YouTube about this. Worth a watch.

 

[terry_a_davis]

I only go out to walk my dog which is most days for 10-15 mins.

 

[TAW122]

I was for some time, then wasn't, and now just recently am. (Yes, then no, and finally yes). I don't do well in social situations and with my social anxiety, general anxiety as well as Aspergers, it's a recipe for disaster. It just falls apart quickly. Even if I could "get better" and depending on how much (which isn't a lot -- at least not enough to make me satisfied), it simply isn't worth all the trouble. It's all bullshit and I've pretty much resigned myself to accepting suicide as my fate. I plan to check out in the 2nd half of 2020 (no date nor location set yet though).

 

[nightflight]

I've been a non-active agoraphobic for a solid four years now; this means that I can and do leave the house but only if absolutely necessary. Recently I visited my family but I only went out with them because I had to; otherwise I can go weeks not leaving my house.

 

[Life sucks]

Yep. Minimizing contact with humans as much as possible

 

[YukiFox]

Reclusion partially. I have a job, but I don't have real friends or a boyfriend. I don't talk at social media either and my dad argues with me for not being more interactive with family.
I have gender dysphoria. I have anxiety. I have a hopeless view of life and I only let all flow until my existence becomes unbearable or the apocalypse will coming, whatever comes first.

 

[SimpleFarmer]

I'd say yes even though I have a job working for family. Since it's farm work I'm usually by myself and even when I'm with them I don't talk unless I have to.

 

[Xaphous]

Anyone else endure 24/7 isolation for many many years ot just me

 

[howard]

I have been agoraphobic for many years, but never a Japanese teenager with it. I am oddly still very agoraphobic yet living in hotels. Often the only people I meet are the housekeepers for days or weeks.

 

[Apathy79]

Anyone else endure 24/7 isolation for many many years ot just me

What do you mean by 24/7 isolation? I live remote. There are no neighbours within a couple of miles in any direction. There's a road in front where people drive past sometimes and a beach nearby where I see people occasionally but never speak to them. There's a delivery driver that comes once a fortnight to deliver groceries. Not always the same guy. Occasionally we say a few words. But people I know don't exist here. I consider it my hermitage.

I would live here 24/7/365 by choice. But I still attend things like weddings and funerals when invited/obligated. I usually go to my parents house for Christmas because they like that. I looked after my brother's cats when he was overseas a few years ago. Once every few years some old friends will get together and invite me so I'll do that. Recently I got evacuated frequently due to fires so spent a lot of time in evac centres. So I do see people every now and then. But usually I get long stretches alone - like 10 months for example last year without a break. That was great! A normal year usually involves Christmas at my parents, 1-2 other events and 355-360 days at my hermitage.

How does that compare with you?

 

[Burbank]

At least rn I have the burden of school on my shoulders. The moment I graduate, this is going to probably become a reality, I know it. I'm too anxious and reclusive to ever be a normal functioning person. I weirdly am looking forward to isolation though.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I'm a recluse I just noticed I use to be more social before age 23 after my first heart break and abusive relationship where I was taken advantage of my depression and social anxiety went up to the extreme and abused alcohol, lost all my friends and left it at that. I guess I have agoraphobic. I have no interest anymore in existence

 

[Hurt]

Nope but I would like to. I'm tired of people and going out.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do leave the house sometimes but only to go to quiet nature areas. It is not often though. I need my own space and being around people is tiring. I cannot stand people. I spend most of my life in one room. In general, I struggle to cope with life. If I do not isolate myself I will become really stressed. I have no will to live and I am tired of existing. All I want is to fall asleep and never wake again.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Totally neet. I reject everything about life

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I try to be.

 

[MeltedJello]

Been one ever since I graduated high school 3 years ago. I'm 21 now. Still a living burden on my parents & can only see myself continuing this way forever, hence ctb is my only solution. I have no will to live. I have no confidence & motivation to go outside anymore. I have no life.

 

[blueclover_.]

I describe myself as a hermit and have been for a decade or so now. I often don't talk to another person for months at a time (10 months last year). And don't live near anyone. I hadn't heard of hikikomori but it looks to be describing me.

As to how I got here, what drove me to the life was an inward spiritual search to remove all attachments to anything in the world, including the mind itself. To that end, socialising and involvement/investment in the world hindered the goal. Also being an introvert who works online with no interest in sex, relationships or having kids helped. Yet now I'm on the internet all the time, I have to question what the point was. I assume the next move will be to somewhere without it either.

In relation to suicide, I don't consider myself suicidal in the sense that others here are suicidal. But my goal is enlightenment, which is a state in which the body won't be able to function, and without anyone nearby to keep it alive, will result in death. So the end I guess is the same.

Very interesting.