Are people serious on here or wasting their time?

[Shadowplay]

Your post is incoherent & just plain weird.

You don't think that making friends is actually helpful for making friends? It's unhealthy for suicidal people to make friends with other suicidal people?

Yeah it is kinda incoherent. Thinking out loud rather than thinking then posting. It doesn't look like English is their native tongue so give them the benefit there.

I'm serious; I want N. to end the farce that is my life. That is not going to be easy. In mean time happy to sh!tpost reminds me of old days in the noughties on forums before social media swallowed them up.

 

[Makko]

I hope those that aren't planning to execute it right away don't think too much of how to do it. It made me shake with tremors the other day so bad and turn cold. I wouldn't consider methods and make myself sick if I wasn't very serious.

I see you doing the same thing here as you did in your other thread, projecting your own feeling and experiences onto everyone else and then become confused why their behavior doesn't make sense or add up to what you are feeling and experiencing.

 

[Sans]

I'd love nothing more than to be erased from this world right now, along with any traces of my existence. Unfortunately, that's not possible, and no good CTB methods are at my disposal. I will get myself some SN when I can get it risk free or tie a noose if I can ever learn how to do it properly, but for now, I'm stuck in this limbo that is life on Earth. Might as well make the most of whatever time I have left here, and at least try to speed up the process of acquiring something to end my life with.

 

[rosie93]

I'm just waiting to grow some balls one day and finally do it. You're right - every day I'm still here it's just a waste of time.

 

[ForNow]

If you are here to research means to kill yourself then go for it. It's your life and therefore your decision. It's great that these resources are available for those who need them. That said not everyone is here for that reason.

Many have recurring suicidal thoughts and intense feelings of hopelessness. If they were to speak to friends or family they might be dismissed or ridiculed. Thoughts of killing yourself are generally considered completely irrational and indicative of mental illness. Rights can be stripped and people locked away once they've been labeled crazy.

So people use this forum for different things. I mostly browse to remind myself I'm not alone and that I'm not (necessarily) some mental case who should be thrown in a cell by quacks who claim to help people but never actually do.

Do what's best for you. Others can do what's best for them. The recovery section is proof this isn't just about learning how to kill yourself but generally a place for suicidal people.

This here ^^ is basically me since I was about 16 years old. This says it so much better than I could. Thank you!

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I am serious about ctb, all I want is to not exist. I am not meant for this life and I have been suicidal for a long time. However my ctb is likely to be in the distant future but the day will come someday. It requires courage to exit this world. If it was easier I would have already been gone, but we are programmed to survive. Also society denies us a right to die and does everything to prolong life. I guess for me, this website is a way to pass the time. I have no reason to carry on living, my life is so empty.

 

[yellothere]

In my case, I am serious about ctb, all I want is to not exist. I am not meant for this life and I have been suicidal for a long time. However my ctb is likely to be in the distant future but the day will come someday. It requires courage to exit this world. If it was easier I would have already been gone, but we are programmed to survive. Also society denies us a right to die and does everything to prolong life. I guess for me, this website is a way to pass the time. I have no reason to carry on living, my life is so empty.

I am so sorry that you feel that much pain. Maybe there is a possibility that you will change your mind in the future. In hope until you reach death ( natural or not) that you find good things to try to think about instead of how to shut your body down and what happens if you fail.

 

[SleepDealer]

Yello, I suspect your confusion surrounding SN and N has to do with the fact that those are genuinely hard to obtain substances. People are not reaching out to you about how to obtain them because they are risky to buy, and risky to sell. People who get their hands on those substances typically have to do a shit ton of research, and that seems to be where the familiarity you're sensing is coming from. It's a hell of a process. The wiki provides more insight into how you can find a seller (who isn't a scammer) so I suggest starting there. I doubt any legitimate sellers are going to reach out to you themselves.

 

[fox_wannabe]

We are serious in giving info, if by saying "being serious" you mean supplying you with illegal substances then no, we are not serious.
Sorry you are in such a rush anyway. Hope you somehow find what you look for.

 

[yellothere]

We are serious in giving info, if by saying "being serious" you mean supplying you with illegal substances then no, we are not serious.
Sorry you are in such a rush anyway. Hope you somehow find what you look for.

Thanks. I am just unsure of emails. It am hesitant about trusting an email I uploaded unless I know someone has actually gotten it...

and yea. It's getting harder to remember before things changed and I lost everything, when my mind worked, when my body worked... before I was in a nightmare loosing touch due to bad experiences.
Support in 2018 , 2019, and begins of 2020 would have been nice. I could have used someone to talk to. But it's too late now. Therapists shouldn't have abandoned me again and again (low income insurance in America sucks) Believe me, I asked. I even tried meetups a few times to meet friends. I hope
Others find support I needed. I just want to be able leave when I still have fragments of the memories of what it felt like to be a human.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Thanks. I am just unsure of emails. It am hesitant about trusting an email I uploaded unless I know someone has actually gotten it...

and yea. It's getting harder to remember before things changed and I lost everything, when my mind worked, when my body worked... before I was in a nightmare loosing touch due to bad experiences.
Support in 2018 , 2019, and begins of 2020 would have been nice. I could have used someone to talk to. But it's too late now. Therapists shouldn't have abandoned me again and again (low income insurance in America sucks) Believe me, I asked. I even tried meetups a few times to meet friends. I hope
Others find support I needed. I just want to be able leave when I still have fragments of the memories of what it felt like to be a human.

Ask @zeroornothing he is knowledgeable in ways of obtaining N. Say that I told you about It. Be clear about why are you sure you want exit.
Zeroor I am sorry for bothering you if you read this but maybe you can help. I know it is hard to help with that stuff after what happened but I cannot do it. Sorry

 

[LastLoveLetter]

"I just want to be able leave when I still have fragments of the memories of what it felt like to be a human."

This line hit me hard. I truly empathise with not feeling like a person anymore. I feel like a hollow husk, with my hope and humanity scooped out.

You did not deserve to be abandoned when you most needed help. This seems to be a common occurrence (and I too have had awful experiences with mental health "care") - being abandoned, neglected or mistreated by the very services that are supposed to support people - and it is absolutely criminal. The system is utterly unfit for purpose and needs to be scrapped and started over. People like you - and others in similar positions - should never be failed so abysmally. You are worth so much more than the cost of your insurance. You are worth so much more than your income. It makes me so angry.

I am sorry @yellothere. No-one should be made to feel this way. I wish I could give you a hug. You deserved better than that, and I hope you can find some semblance of solace from your suffering, whether you choose to die or to live.

 

[NormaJeane]

There are people on the Internet on all webpages who only are on the Internet because they have nothing to do, so there must be people here on Sanctioned Suicide who are here because they have nothing to do, they have no intention of committing suicide.

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

Therapists shouldn't have abandoned me again and again (low income insurance in America sucks) Believe me, I asked.

Would you consider moving to another state? Low income health insurance can be better in the smaller states. There are better practitioners in the public systems since the MH systems are smaller, and often less people competing for the same services.

I'm asking because it sounds as if you would try living if you had other options. I would like to make sure you have considered some other things that, while difficult, may help your situation.

 

[yellothere]

"I just want to be able leave when I still have fragments of the memories of what it felt like to be a human."

This line hit me hard. I truly empathise with not feeling like a person anymore. I feel like a hollow husk, with my hope and humanity scooped out.

You did not deserve to be abandoned when you most needed help. This seems to be a common occurrence (and I too have had awful experiences with mental health "care") - being abandoned, neglected or mistreated by the very services that are supposed to support people - and it is absolutely criminal. The system is utterly unfit for purpose and needs to be scrapped and started over. People like you - and others in similar positions - should never be failed so abysmally. You are worth so much more than the cost of your insurance. You are worth so much more than your income. It makes me so angry.

I am sorry @yellothere. No-one should be made to feel this way. I wish I could give you a hug. You deserved better than that, and I hope you can find some semblance of peace, whether you choose to die or live.

Thank you. I was anxious because of school, bad things at home and trying to get into school. The broke my body down. They kept trying to mediate me. When I checked in for mental health, I couldn't leave becuSe it was for "suicidal ideation" and I wasn't even suicidal.

it was fucking Prozac. It was lexapro. It was other anti depressants they kept shoving me on. They even told me my brain was "off" in chemistry because my anxiety kept making me see "Visual snow" after I read about it reading about my floaters. It didn't go away until I talked to someone I know (not a close friend). I just needed someone to talk to.

I want crazy. My eye broke down.
I ruined my vision with cobwebs and blood cells from

Would you consider moving to another state? Low income health insurance can be better in the smaller states. There are better practitioners in the public systems since the MH systems are smaller, and often less people competing for the same services.

I'm asking because it sounds as if you would try living if you had other options. I would like to make sure you have considered some other things that, while difficult, may help your situation.

that is very kind of you. I think that I am from Southern California and competing with a place full of crime, drugs, and homelessness that people dismissed me much easier. They are more worried about all the meth heads getting traffic immigrant families navigating the system that social workers in their eyes didn't seem to be of importance to a middle
Class kid with a lot of issues trouble functioning asking for help.

they don't care about you until you are making others lives hard in society. Like being homeless or on drugs...

 

[Flippy]

Thank you. I was anxious because of school, bad things at home and trying to get into school. The broke my body down. They kept trying to mediate me. When I checked in for mental health, I couldn't leave becuSe it was for "suicidal ideation" and I wasn't even suicidal.

it was fucking Prozac. It was lexapro. It was other anti depressants they kept shoving me on. They even told me my brain was "off" in chemistry because my anxiety kept making me see "Visual snow" after I read about it reading about my floaters. It didn't go away until I talked to someone I know (not a close friend). I just needed someone to talk to.

I want crazy. My eye broke down.
I ruined my vision with cobwebs and blood cells from

that is very kind of you. I think that I am from Southern California and competing with a place full of crime, drugs, and homelessness that people dismissed me much easier. They are more worried about all the meth heads getting traffic immigrant families navigating the system that social workers in their eyes didn't seem to be of importance to a middle
Class kid with a lot of issues trouble functioning asking for help.

they don't care about you until you are making others lives hard in society. Like being homeless or on drugs...

I've developed loads of floaters particularly, it seems in my left eye. It's gotten progressively worse now to the point that in normal light conditions when I look around it's like there's a bunch of mosquitoes in front of me. I'm pretty sure that they are due to issues with my blood, finally now there's a specialist looking into it. But I've been gaslit over this for months :-(

 

[itstoolateforme]

I just need a way out. I need something ASAP for a peaceful death... SN may not be peaceful enough. I would prefer N or F?
I really just want help before I forget.
But it seems many people discussing obtaining things for a peaceful suicide aren't actually seriously trying to die.
Do people just want to make friends? Because this isn't a good place. I don't think making friends with people actively trying to commit s*ui*c*e is actually helpful for making friends l, nor is it good for your well-being to know people or aid people in trying to say goodbye.

I almost feel that people are much more likely to help you obtain what you need or give info on finding things if you are their friends? Am I wrong? I am a friendly person, but not looking for friends here. I just want support in my choice.

If I had more money and a long term place (couch surfing at the moment) I would have orders and tested SN, but I can't risk ordering some thing where I have to test it and compromise it or have to get it shipped in a month.

I sometimes get the feeling that people aren't serious about it. If so why be on here so long ? Could be wrong?

Personally im not in too much of a rush but i definitely plan to do it. My biggest priority in the affair is not failing so I've been practicing and making sure not to get caught by friends which takes a surprising amount of energy bc i tend to go on autopilot a lot in conversations

 

[Poptart]

I have been around for a while. Some will go on to live. Some will most certainly die - and you can watch their final moments play out on this forum.

This question of "are people here serious" has been asked a thousand times. You are not the first. You will not be the last.

 

[irememberinnocence]

It's posts like this that give fuel to people who want the site taken down. Suicide is not the aim here, choice is. Some people come here set on suiciding and do catch the bus. Others may come to determined to suicide but decide to wait or explore recovery. Some people come to explore their options. And many just come if it's the only safe place they can discuss their inner torment without getting locked in a psych ward. If someone does come and ends up making friends instead of killing themselves, then that actually makes me happy.

 

[MiseryWithoutCompany]

s*ui*c*e

Forgive the ignorance, but is there a reason to type it like that...? Even the URL has the word uncensored...

But personal take here... the site feels more like a gathering of like-minded individuals. People who have ups or downs that are willing to doscuss the true extent of how their experiences affect them. It's like a community that lacks that filter that other sites have, a thing that makes other sites feel fake. If something feels bothersome to a person, suicide isn't off the tablw in terms of discussion. It doesn't elicit the usual nor al-grade response of , "call a hotline" or "get help". It feels for genuine and detailed even, on this site.

Granted, I keep this site at a distance from own personal interactions. People on here have been super sweet or outright assholes. But never have been judging because of suicidal history or thoughts. It's odd...

Personally, suicide will come for me one day. Hopefully a successful one. But this is a great place to vent without feeling that the actual identity of a person is at risk. Nobody will call the police or authorities when venting on here... It's an interesting social environment that may not be for everyone, but it definitely is for someone.