Discussion applied to 104 jobs since last Saturday and still no reply. Is there anything more traumatizing than job hunting?

[Insomniac]

Is there?

I eventually got over my fear of sending resumes after 2 years of "LDAR" and "NEETing".

I also got over my social anxiety enough to create a LinkedIn account despite having no connections and feeling really lame and unpopular.

However, I'm starting to relapse again into utter desperation and apathy. I feel so lost. Why haven't I gotten an interview yet? After 104 applications? Is it because I did nothing for two years after graduating?

What am I supposed to do while waiting for a reply? How am I supposed to feel? I'm exhausted and can't sleep. My mom is hospitalised for 3 months now in a different country and she's ruined because of her treatment costs. I don't know if she is going to survive. I don't have a job. My dad is an alcoholic. I have a little sister who needs me.

But I just need to die. Why am I so TRAPPED. What would people think if they learn that I CTBed despite my mom being hospitalised and having a sister who is still a minor? I just want to be GONE.

I have my rope here and an anchor. It could all be over in an instant but I can't get over what people would think. And my little sister who has no one but me.

So much pressure. I feel resentful towards my mom that I feel so responsible for her child, my little sister isn't MY CHILD, I DID NOT BRING HER TO THIS HELL HOLE SO WHY DO I HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER??????????????

WHY.

It's not my fault if my mom husband is an irresponsible alcoholic, why do I have to fix my mom's mistakes. am I her slave? Is that it? her slave?

I'm sorry that she is on the verge of death and I'm sorry that I'm such a selfish cunt.

It's just too much.

 

[Snake of Eden]

The reality of all work related things gives me so much anxiety and unhappiness. Now I gave it all up as I tried to make it work for me for 15 years but no matter what I do, I end up screwing up. I cant be neet forever but it would be one of the things that end up may pushing me to finally ctb. I dont want or need anything other than food and shelter and some little money for necessities. When that becomes an issue I will probably have to end it

 

[Foresight]

I'm with you, it's awful.

 

[Insomniac]

I dont want or need anything other than food and shelter and some little money for necessities.

I don't need much either. My mom is spending 300k on her treatment and she is an old lady.

am I an asshole for thinking that it is selfish of her to use that money to try to cling desperately to life when she has a daughter that doesn't know how to pay for college and another one who doesn't have a job? If she had just died, we would be financially free my sister and I, at least until I find a job.

I know this sounds horrible, but her body is already weak and its not even guaranteed that she will survive even after spending so much (she has late stage cancer and other issues).

I feel like she is so unbelievably selfish. Why cling to an old and dying body?

If she survives and come home, I will CTB 100%. I consider that she chose her own life over mine by chosing to spend so much on her treatment (and potentially my little sister's life).

On top of everything, she is counting on me to finance her retirement?

 

[Snake of Eden]

I don't need much either. My mom is spending 300k on her treatment and she is an old lady.

am I an asshole for thinking that it is selfish of her to use that money to try to cling desperately to life when she has a daughter that doesn't know how to pay for college and another one who doesn't have a job? If she had just died, we would be financially free my sister and I, at least until I find a job.

I know this sounds horrible, but her body is already weak and its not even guaranteed that she will survive even after spending so much (she has late stage cancer and other issues).

I feel like she is so unbelievably selfish. Why cling to an old and dying body?

If she survives and come home, I will CTB 100%. I consider that she chose her own life over mine by chosing to spend so much on her treatment (and potentially my little sister's life).

On top of everything, she is counting on me to finance her retirement?

It is not a clear cut situation. It is very hard to say if she is right or wrong. Drive to cling too life is too powerful

 

[Kristicide]

I feel you so much! It's God awful. I worked 20 years then got laid off because the company was doing poorly financially. I didn't think it'd be that hard to get a new job. I have 2 degrees, graduated from high school and 2 colleges with honors. Always had glowing annual work reviews. Been out of work for almost 3 years now! Never thought that could happen. Searched daily for roles, got lots of interviews. Not 1 offer. A boss from a company where we worked together for 8 years has two open roles on her team at a new corporation and she recommended me to HR. I did 9 rounds of interviews (Yes - 9). I heard from HR 3 weeks ago that they are just working out the headcount and budget for the 2022 year and are still interested in my candidacy. I'm tired of waiting. I stopped looking for roles when I was in the middle of that interview process since it seemed like I had all the best chances of getting hired. Plus looking for roles and preparing for interviews is very time consuming (and being rejected or ghosted is deflating). Once my SN arrives I'm ctb - unless I get an offer from them before that. My luck the offer would come the day after I ctb.

 

[Antigonish]

I've applied, and pretty much got a lot of fast responses. Then my social anxiety kicked in and I got sick...

Point of story. Use indeed.

 

[Charcoal Feathers]

I'm in the same boat as you at the moment. I've been looking for jobs and freelance gigs at the same time. I don't want to look at the number of job applications and proposals I've sent out cause It'd only depress me further. My latest desperate move is to apply for jobs out of my experience/skill level in hopes that I'd be able to fake my way through it. If this goes on then I'll have to take on some mundane repetitive job with garbage pay, but hey, beggars can't be choosers I guess. To answer your question, yes, job hunting it incredibly depressing, hang in there bud, you're not alone.

 

[Insomniac]

I feel you so much! It's God awful. I worked 20 years then got laid off because the company was doing poorly financially. I didn't think it'd be that hard to get a new job. I have 2 degrees, graduated from high school and 2 colleges with honors. Always had glowing annual work reviews. Been out of work for almost 3 years now! Never thought that could happen. Searched daily for roles, got lots of interviews. Not 1 offer. A boss from a company where we worked together for 8 years has two open roles on her team at a new corporation and she recommended me to HR. I did 9 rounds of interviews (Yes - 9). I heard from HR 3 weeks ago that they are just working out the headcount and budget for the 2022 year and are still interested in my candidacy. I'm tired of waiting. I stopped looking for roles when I was in the middle of that interview process since it seemed like I had all the best chances of getting hired. Plus looking for roles and preparing for interviews is very time consuming (and being rejected or ghosted is deflating). Once my SN arrives I'm ctb - unless I get an offer from them before that. My luck the offer would come the day after I ctb.

Oh my god that must SUCK so bad. I can't believe someone with so much qualification is struggling to find a job when you hear everyday new graduates get jobs as soon as they are out of college!

I just don't understand how things work. and I'm afraid that when I do, it'll be too late.

how did you spend your time these last 3 years? Please don't tell me that you were sending applications 8h/day 7 days/week. I can gather enough strength to do something like that. I only wrote one resume and one cover letter and send them to 104 positions. I can't make an application for each job

 

[xLosthopex]

Yep… applying for 'normal' jobs stresses me the fuck out
One of the reasons I became a stripper lol

 

[Insomniac]

Yep… applying for 'normal' jobs stresses me the fuck out
One of the reasons I became a stripper lol

honestly being a stripper sounds incredibly difficult, even more difficult than regular jobs. You're brave.

 

[Arot]

I've been searching for a job for 2+ years. Some reply with "thank you but we have chosen another candidate" while the others don't reply at all.
Lost all hope 3 months ago...
I feel your pain.

 

[xLosthopex]

honestly being a stripper sounds incredibly difficult, even more difficult than regular jobs. You're brave.

In some ways yes, but in other ways no… plus the money is far better than any regular job I've had

 

[Kristicide]

Oh my god that must SUCK so bad. I can't believe someone with so much qualification is struggling to find a job when you hear everyday new graduates get jobs as soon as they are out of college!

I just don't understand how things work. and I'm afraid that when I do, it'll be too late.

how did you spend your time these last 3 years? Please don't tell me that you were sending applications 8h/day 7 days/week. I can gather enough strength to do something like that. I only wrote one resume and one cover letter and send them to 104 positions. I can't make an application for each job

Yeah suck is an understatement. It's not like a vacation where you can relax knowing you have time off. It's always stressful - the main thing being that it comes down to money. Obviously.
I work in a specialized field so the opportunities are more limited than say if I worked in sales. I can't say for sure but I think because I'm more at a high level in my career it makes those opportunities even smaller. But yeah I was searching daily - hours at a time. I wouldn't say 8hrs each day - it fluctuated depending on what new jobs were posted. I also took classes, attended seminars/lectures, got about 5-7 career counselors, read up on lots of articles. I must have reworked my resume and LinkedIn (plus all the other job sites) profile a billion times. I did make multiple resumes/cover letters tailored slightly for different roles that fell within my scope. I felt like I was doing all the things that these career professionals say to do. Obviously, I must come off poorly in interviews. I mean at this point I can't blame it on anything else but me. I do research on the companies, the person who will be interviewing me, have plenty of questions to ask them at the end. So there must be something about my personality that's not meshing with them. Idk.

I've been searching for a job for 2+ years. Some reply with "thank you but we have chosen another candidate" while the others don't reply at all.
Lost all hope 3 months ago...
I feel your pain.

I'd still prefer the rejection letter than being ghosted. It's so unprofessional.

 

[NothingElseMatters]

yes, love hunting

 

[Someone123]

Is there?

I eventually got over my fear of sending resumes after 2 years of "LDAR" and "NEETing".

I also got over my social anxiety enough to create a LinkedIn account despite having no connections and feeling really lame and unpopular.

However, I'm starting to relapse again into utter desperation and apathy. I feel so lost. Why haven't I gotten an interview yet? After 104 applications? Is it because I did nothing for two years after graduating?

What am I supposed to do while waiting for a reply? How am I supposed to feel? I'm exhausted and can't sleep. My mom is hospitalised for 3 months now in a different country and she's ruined because of her treatment costs. I don't know if she is going to survive. I don't have a job. My dad is an alcoholic. I have a little sister who needs me.

But I just need to die. Why am I so TRAPPED. What would people think if they learn that I CTBed despite my mom being hospitalised and having a sister who is still a minor? I just want to be GONE.

I have my rope here and an anchor. It could all be over in an instant but I can't get over what people would think. And my little sister who has no one but me.

So much pressure. I feel resentful towards my mom that I feel so responsible for her child, my little sister isn't MY CHILD, I DID NOT BRING HER TO THIS HELL HOLE SO WHY DO I HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER??????????????

WHY.

It's not my fault if my mom husband is an irresponsible alcoholic, why do I have to fix my mom's mistakes. am I her slave? Is that it? her slave?

I'm sorry that she is on the verge of death and I'm sorry that I'm such a selfish cunt.

It's just too much.

One thing that really helps is if you call an employer to follow up on an application (as long as they didn't say no phone calls please)- sometimes this leads right to an interview because you took this extra step. Did you send a cover letter explaining in detail how your qualifications match their job? A detailed cover letter is essential for getting a response. I would focus on getting at most ten applications out in a week while doing the best job you can do on the cover letters and with follow-up phone calls. :)

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are going through this, it sounds really stressful. I know that the feeling of desperation can be dreadful. I understand that it is hard to carry on when you cannot take anymore. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Insomniac]

One thing that really helps is if you call an employer to follow up on an application (as long as they didn't say no phone calls please)- sometimes this leads right to an interview because you took this extra step. Did you send a cover letter explaining in detail how your qualifications match their job? A detailed cover letter is essential for getting a response. I would focus on getting at most ten applications out in a week while doing the best job you can do on the cover letters and with follow-up phone calls. :)

thanks for the advices. Tbh 10 of the 104 applications were specifically crafted for the jobs I applied to. And I did some follow up and did the whole thing of researching about the companies, the recruiters etc. After no reply I decided to kind of automate the whole thing and make a cover letter and resume that'd by default fit all jobs of my field. Still nothing. But thanks for the advices still, really appreciate.

yes, love hunting

can't relate to preferring the presence of a partner over food on the table.

 

[Someone123]

Is there?

I eventually got over my fear of sending resumes after 2 years of "LDAR" and "NEETing".

I also got over my social anxiety enough to create a LinkedIn account despite having no connections and feeling really lame and unpopular.

However, I'm starting to relapse again into utter desperation and apathy. I feel so lost. Why haven't I gotten an interview yet? After 104 applications? Is it because I did nothing for two years after graduating?

What am I supposed to do while waiting for a reply? How am I supposed to feel? I'm exhausted and can't sleep. My mom is hospitalised for 3 months now in a different country and she's ruined because of her treatment costs. I don't know if she is going to survive. I don't have a job. My dad is an alcoholic. I have a little sister who needs me.

But I just need to die. Why am I so TRAPPED. What would people think if they learn that I CTBed despite my mom being hospitalised and having a sister who is still a minor? I just want to be GONE.

I have my rope here and an anchor. It could all be over in an instant but I can't get over what people would think. And my little sister who has no one but me.

So much pressure. I feel resentful towards my mom that I feel so responsible for her child, my little sister isn't MY CHILD, I DID NOT BRING HER TO THIS HELL HOLE SO WHY DO I HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER??????????????

WHY.

It's not my fault if my mom husband is an irresponsible alcoholic, why do I have to fix my mom's mistakes. am I her slave? Is that it? her slave?

I'm sorry that she is on the verge of death and I'm sorry that I'm such a selfish cunt.

It's just too much.

Also, this is only 2 1/2 business days since Saturday- many employers do not start calling for interviews until a job has been posted for a week or two.

 

[absoluteanimal1]

There is nothing worse than job hunting. I had 2 interviews in a row today and they were awful. I'm sorry you are going through this, but it can take awhile for them to call, honestly. Don't give up hope yet.

 

[Of The Universe]

Ctb?

 

[Julgran]

Is there?

I eventually got over my fear of sending resumes after 2 years of "LDAR" and "NEETing".

I also got over my social anxiety enough to create a LinkedIn account despite having no connections and feeling really lame and unpopular.

However, I'm starting to relapse again into utter desperation and apathy. I feel so lost. Why haven't I gotten an interview yet? After 104 applications? Is it because I did nothing for two years after graduating?

What am I supposed to do while waiting for a reply? How am I supposed to feel? I'm exhausted and can't sleep. My mom is hospitalised for 3 months now in a different country and she's ruined because of her treatment costs. I don't know if she is going to survive. I don't have a job. My dad is an alcoholic. I have a little sister who needs me.

But I just need to die. Why am I so TRAPPED. What would people think if they learn that I CTBed despite my mom being hospitalised and having a sister who is still a minor? I just want to be GONE.

I have my rope here and an anchor. It could all be over in an instant but I can't get over what people would think. And my little sister who has no one but me.

So much pressure. I feel resentful towards my mom that I feel so responsible for her child, my little sister isn't MY CHILD, I DID NOT BRING HER TO THIS HELL HOLE SO WHY DO I HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER??????????????

WHY.

It's not my fault if my mom husband is an irresponsible alcoholic, why do I have to fix my mom's mistakes. am I her slave? Is that it? her slave?

I'm sorry that she is on the verge of death and I'm sorry that I'm such a selfish cunt.

It's just too much.

I don't need much either. My mom is spending 300k on her treatment and she is an old lady.

am I an asshole for thinking that it is selfish of her to use that money to try to cling desperately to life when she has a daughter that doesn't know how to pay for college and another one who doesn't have a job? If she had just died, we would be financially free my sister and I, at least until I find a job.

I know this sounds horrible, but her body is already weak and its not even guaranteed that she will survive even after spending so much (she has late stage cancer and other issues).

I feel like she is so unbelievably selfish. Why cling to an old and dying body?

If she survives and come home, I will CTB 100%. I consider that she chose her own life over mine by chosing to spend so much on her treatment (and potentially my little sister's life).

On top of everything, she is counting on me to finance her retirement?

You are reminding me of when I started to look for jobs in 2010, which was right after the financial crash of 2008. Basically everyone demanded that the applicants had at least 3 years of work experience in the work field, which I didn't have - this kind of experience was also required for positions as waiters and such, which I had an education is, but I didn't receive any job offers anyway. Eventually, I started an education in health care administration and then got a job within that sector, and I progressed from there.

As a result of not receing any job offers back then, I was unemployed for a total of about five years, just because no one dared employ me, because I didn't have any work experience - I call it The Snow Ball of Work Death

To sum it up, the problem seems to lie in getting any traction when it comes to work experience. As soon as you can get your foot in the door, you might be able to progress within the company, or even look for other jobs while you are already working at your current job.

I'm writing this from the perspective of a Swedish male. Do you think that you could start some kind of vocational education?

 

[Lost Magic]

Honestly, I haven't worked in a very long time. Well, I was a paid carer for my mother, but outside of that I haven't. I have been getting sick pay for a while. However, I know how brutal the jobs market is. In fact it is completely soul destroying, especially since most employers don't give a fuck about you and don't want to pay fair. I am done with it and If they ever forced me back to work, I would say okay, and cbt ASAP. In fact Capitalism is one of the big reasons (out of plenty others) that make me hate this whole god damn hell hole of a world. I QUIT lol

 

[Lost Magic]

I have reported your post. You are asking OP to CTB which is against the rules. The OP is only venting about work situation. You shouldn't encourage CTB here

I think this is a misunderstanding here. Moonshine said, ctb? There is a question mark at the end. So the person is probably asking (like so many ask when they are new) what it stands for. Well it stands for catching the bus (another term for ending ones life). I think you jumped the gun here without knowing the intention.

 

[Crazy4u]

I think this is a misunderstanding here. Moonshine said, ctb? There is a question mark at the end. So the person is probably asking (like so many ask when they are new) what it stands for. Well it stands for catching the bus (another term for ending ones life). I think you jumped the gun here without knowing the intention.

oh you might be right. I removed the angry emoji. I think I'm being paranoid these days.

@MoonGoddess I apologize if I misunderstood. I deleted my response.

 

[Foresight]

I forget CTB is obscure. I thought the same thing about the ctb?

 

[Superdeterminist]

Job hunting is fucked. Anyone who thinks it's stupid to become disillusioned after sending out so many applications without success, is deluded. The game is so messed up.

 

[veryhappyhuman]

It really sucks, especially when they don't even tell you why they're rejecting your application, which is most instances. I had a great job, but had to leave it for family reasons. 6 months of LDARing followed. I think I applied to about 150 jobs, got like 7 interviews and bombed all of them. I was starting to give up and the rate of my applying was starting to quickly drop. Finally managed to land one with shitty pay -- not even exaggerating, they barely managed to match what I was getting 4 years ago. But hey it's not nothing.

Anyway, I guess what I wanted to say is, it really is a numbers game. Sort of like if you could endlessly buy lottery tickets for free. Remember it has to work only once. I'd also get my resume looked at by someone else -- there's maybe something in there that needs changing.

I really feel for Kristicide 's situation though. As one gains more experience , ageism becomes stronger and stronger a factor in determining how difficult it is to get a job. I've seen so many really talented senior candidates get rejected solely on the basis of age (but of course, to avoid liability it's never explicity made clear). In a capitalist setup it makes sense I guess -- why not hire someone else you can pay less AND are less likely to take days off because of their younger age? It's just so heartless. As someone else said, ageism is the last acceptable bigotry in the world.

 

[Midgardsorm]

Well I was just fired from my job.

I'm back to job hunting.

To be fair, it seems the world want to know for how long you can be tortured before breaking down.

Maybe they could make even more money by exploring people's virtues. What they want to do.

Knowing how people can contribute, not telling them how.

But sadly the world refuses to change.

 

[Onthe29th]

I think a lot of people are going through this right now. They say that unemployment is at its highest rate so you would think that people would be able to find jobs since so many people are at home but instead, finding a job is a lot harder for some people. It's bullshit