I've never actually attempted so I think I can't truly know my reaction. But based on how I work and previous reactions of people when I asked for help I do know that it's unlikely I'd call for help. Though it's not impossible. I went through some pretty painful stuff (mental and physical) by myself because asking for help has always been so detrimental. People just look at you with puzzled looks. Or they say it can't possibly be so bad. Or they tell me I shouldn't feel that way. If I'd actually called an ambulance when I tried taking my life I'd expect some horrific treatment. And that's more horrible than any physical pain. I know I can deal with a certain amount of physical pain. And being dismissed, ridiculed or ignored because of mental pain is something I have experienced enough in my life. I would not want to add onto that, I've experienced that enough. So no more of that for me. I hope this will ensure that I don't call for help.
Can someone tell me what does "SI" means? I see it a lot in the forum but i still dont know!!
Dot
Info abt typng styl on prfle.
- Sep 26, 2021
- 2,848
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
I've experienced a stuck kidney stone is that was not removed for four days so I know what serous pain feels like. Kidney stones that are stuck are known to be the worst pain you can experience. I haven't been right since, mentally. CPTSD from it. Yes I'm scare of pain. I also am scared of another kidney stone, terrified so much I drink gallons of water a day to flush my kidneys. I cannot look at pizza since that's what i was eating when it happened. So I'm really terrified of both feeling pain when I die, having an asthma attack as I take SN, and not dying too.
SI is survival Instinct. It's the biological instinct that makes us naturally adverse to things that endanger us. It's what makes it do hard to ctb. It's also what makes people call for help right after ingesting a poison for example
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
WOW you made my day! I have just breathed the biggest sigh of relief. I've read it is stable for three years and one supplier, a chemical company, says it is stable for ten years. I have 3 bottles of it. I am just so happy now. I might be able to do this. All I need is the right place far from civilization because I don't want to be near any hospitals.
Sincerely hope you never have to experience that again. That sound awful. And understandable how something like that can lead to CPTSD. We all have a different relationship with pain it seems. It's hard to imagine pain when you haven't actually experienced it yourself. Wish people had some more understanding when it comes to that. I used to hear from people when I was younger to be careful with my back. I couldn't fanthom being in pain all the time so I paid little attention to it. Now I have fibromyalgia and I experience pain all the time. Not sure if being more careful with lifting could've prevented that. But it is eye opening in the sense that I know I couldn't imagine this kind of pain before I actually experienced it. I can't imagine pain from kidney stones and I can only hope I never have to experience that. I can't imagine the pain I'll feel when I'm dying. There's little (if nothing) in this life that's guaranteed and it's impossible to prepare for everything. What a cursed thing. In any case: good luck to you, I wish you the best.
Yeah I was starting to get a bit worried aswell since mine is a bit over 3 years old. And yes tent in a forest is what I'm doing.
Old Friend
Sleep well, Airstrip One.
- Sep 24, 2023
- 478
Yes, I do worry about SI. It's the thing I worry about more than dealing with any pain or discomfort. I would prefer inert gas for this reason but hiding a gas cannister is a bit more difficult than a small tub of SN.
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
You are giving out false information much of the time. Conac can go ahead and spend his time just trolling you. In fact you and him are a good match, two opposites.
Never thought I'd see a comment make me laugh like this one has.
アホペンギン
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- Jul 10, 2023
- 2,199
ok im in the hospital rn from a paracetamol overdose, after i get out i will take 50 grams of paracetamol, 5x the amount i took to get in here
pthnrdnojvsc
Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
- Aug 12, 2019
- 2,523
that's great that 3-4 years old SN is still good . Is it 4 years old ? . did you use test strips? could you post or PM the test strips you used?
I've never obtained SN, but the one time I got very close to hanging via full suspension. I tried to not think about the fact that I was gonna die, because that will only give you SI, but just pretend like you're doing something inconsequential, like doing a routine chore, to calm yourself down. Also think about all the things that are unfair and messed up that the world has done to you, that might help.
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
I thought you were going to close your account here, whatever happened to that idea?ok im in the hospital rn from a paracetamol overdose, after i get out i will take 50 grams of paracetamol, 5x the amount i took to get in here
Loudwolf baby
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アホペンギン
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- Jul 10, 2023
- 2,199
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