L
Lostandlooking
In limbo
- Jul 23, 2020
- 457
I've never actually attempted so I think I can't truly know my reaction. But based on how I work and previous reactions of people when I asked for help I do know that it's unlikely I'd call for help. Though it's not impossible. I went through some pretty painful stuff (mental and physical) by myself because asking for help has always been so detrimental. People just look at you with puzzled looks. Or they say it can't possibly be so bad. Or they tell me I shouldn't feel that way. If I'd actually called an ambulance when I tried taking my life I'd expect some horrific treatment. And that's more horrible than any physical pain. I know I can deal with a certain amount of physical pain. And being dismissed, ridiculed or ignored because of mental pain is something I have experienced enough in my life. I would not want to add onto that, I've experienced that enough. So no more of that for me. I hope this will ensure that I don't call for help.