Discussion Anyone willing to discuss suicide with me?

[Nothing………………….]

This is purely just for the sake of discussion, Im interested in your views and how they differ from mine. if you're willing to indulge me then thats great, if you're on the site as a safe place/ to vent then just ignore me. I'm personally not suicidal and as a general rule don't think suicide is the best option most of the time (key word most, I only really use this as a general rule), so I want to discuss about why you do think that it's the best option and stuff like that, since I've never really heard any views other than mine before. I am willing to hear anyone and anything out.

 

[cryone]

I personally want to CTB because there really is no point to my life and living is pretty much insufferable. "existence precedes essence" is what I follow, essentially meaning that you create your own purpose. I haven't created one nor do I think creating one would be of value.

 

[Nothing………………….]

I personally want to CTB because there really is no point to my life and living is pretty much insufferable. "existence precedes essence" is what I follow, essentially meaning that you create your own purpose. I haven't created one nor do I think creating one would be of value.

Why don't you think creating one is of value? And besides do you find no joy in other things besides a greater purpose?

 

[sanction]

This is purely just for the sake of discussion, Im interested in your views and how they differ from mine. if you're willing to indulge me then thats great, if you're on the site as a safe place/ to vent then just ignore me. I'm personally not suicidal and as a general rule don't think suicide is the best option most of the time (key word most, I only really use this as a general rule), so I want to discuss about why you do think that it's the best option and stuff like that, since I've never really heard any views other than mine before. I am willing to hear anyone and anything out.

I think may need to pinpoint what type of circumstances you're referring to

Because obviously if a person's life isn't too bad, then of course suicide won't be as easily considered, but once a person's quality of living drops below a certain point, then it naturally starts to hit you that it might not be worth the effort to continue, since most of the time we're talking decades more of going through this, which is not a short time, while in the end, we're just going to die in the end no matter what anyways, so why prolong this unnecessary suffering

I believe the main pillars of life is heath, finance, relationships, and personal related

Once these are off balance, then will start to question the point of life, if the "reward" is worth it to continue, since it takes so much effort to maintain daily surviving

As example, lets say when you come home from long day of work, you come home to a loving family, but I come home to an empty place with 4 walls. Or on your holidays, you go travel and have fun. But I have health issues, so if I have extended time off, I instead use that time to repair my health or visit different doctor clinics

In that case, you would naturally want to live more than me, while I may see not waking up anymore as a peace of mind

 

[Angel of Spades]

This is purely just for the sake of discussion, Im interested in your views and how they differ from mine. if you're willing to indulge me then thats great, if you're on the site as a safe place/ to vent then just ignore me. I'm personally not suicidal and as a general rule don't think suicide is the best option most of the time (key word most, I only really use this as a general rule), so I want to discuss about why you do think that it's the best option and stuff like that, since I've never really heard any views other than mine before. I am willing to hear anyone and anything out.

For me, I'm done with life. I see no purpose in continuing. I don't see a future for myself. It's a difficult topic for me to even explain, because the motivation behind it has changed drastically over the years. When I was younger, a lot of it was spite (at my parents, at my classmates, at my friends), and then it became just being unable to keep going. Now it's just pure exhaustion. I just want to get my ticket for the bus and not have to worry about any of the things I have going on anymore.

 

[Hotsackage]

I prefer there could be a way to live but some conditions are unbearable, so I can see why people choose it

 

[lostinmythoughts]

I want to kms because I'm just not happy! Whatever I do with my parents it's just a waste of time in the end of the day I go back to the same depression state! I feel like this life is not for me. To be depressed is to be in the dark you will never ignore the sadness and hopelessness you experience and I being depressed since I was 9 years old. I'm 21 now it's time to end the pain

 

[Nothing………………….]

I think may need to pinpoint what type of circumstances you're referring to

Because obviously if a person's life isn't too bad, then of course suicide won't be as easily considered, but once a person's quality of living drops below a certain point, then it naturally starts to hit you that it might not be worth the effort to continue, since most of the time we're talking decades more of going through this, which is not a short time, while in the end, we're just going to die in the end no matter what anyways, so why prolong this unnecessary suffering

I believe the main pillars of life is heath, finance, relationships, and personal related

Once these are off balance, then will start to question the point of life, if the "reward" is worth it to continue, since it takes so much effort to maintain daily surviving

As example, lets say when you come home from long day of work, you come home to a loving family, but I come home to an empty place with 4 walls. Or on your holidays, you go travel and have fun. But I have health issues, so if I have extended time off, I use that time to repair my health or visit different doctor clinics

In that case ,you would naturally want to live more than me, while I may see not waking up anymore as a peace of mind

Well for me even when I was suicidal I never saw CTB as truly the best option, it was always too difficult and messy, and continuing to live was always just easier. It's not that living is easy, but that going through daily life is just easier than ctb.

For me, I'm done with life. I see no purpose in continuing. I don't see a future for myself. It's a difficult topic for me to even explain, because the motivation behind it has changed drastically over the years. When I was younger, a lot of it was spite (at my parents, at my classmates, at my friends), and then it became just being unable to keep going. Now it's just pure exhaustion. I just want to get my ticket for the bus and not have to worry about any of the things I have going on anymore.

Would you say that CTB is easier than just going through the daily motions of life?

I want to kms because I'm just not happy! Whatever I do with my parents it's just a waste of time in the end of the day I go back to the same depression state! I feel like this life is not for me. To be depressed is to be in the dark you will never ignore the sadness and hopelessness you experience and I being depressed since I was 9 years old. I'm 21 now it's time to end the pain

Have you ever considered/ tried therapy?if you have tried it, what was your experience?

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

It's no different than tossing an empty milk carton. Once something turns into trash and no longer serves a purpose, it should be thrown away.

 

[sanction]

Well for me even when I was suicidal I never saw CTB as truly the best option, it was always too difficult and messy, and continuing to live was always just easier. It's not that living is easy, but that going through daily life is just easier than ctb.

Would you say that CTB is easier than just going through the daily motions of life?

To be honest, it really depends case by case. To get into more smaller details, here are some general examples and comparison. Lets say 2 people were experiencing a similar problem

- A younger person will normally be able to bear it more. They naturally have more time and energy to overcome it, and even make up for it later in life, versus if compared to someone who is 20-30 years older, its just different

- If you have a reasonable family and support system. Some people truly have no one in this world but themselves

- if you live in first world country, versus third world country

- your health conditions

- if you're born attractive or ugly

and the list goes on. On the surface level, many people appear similar. But if you dig deeper, sometimes there are just enough differences to make them have a different view of their life and journey

 

[Nothing………………….]

To be honest, it really depends case by case. To get into more smaller details, here are some general examples and comparison. Lets say 2 people were experiencing a similar problem

- A younger person will normally be able to bear it more. They naturally have more time and energy to overcome it, and even make up for it later in life, versus if compared to someone who is 20-30 years older, its just different

- If you have a reasonable family and support system. Some people truly have no one in this world but themselves

- if you live in first world country, versus third world country

- your health conditions

- if you're born attractive or ugly

and the list goes on. On the surface level, many people appear similar. But if you dig deeper, sometimes there are just enough differences to make them have a different view of their life and journey

Thats fair enough, but what I want to discuss is pretty subjective, so being general doesn't really work. So for you personally would you consider CTB an easier option than continuing to live?

 

[Angel of Spades]

Well for me even when I was suicidal I never saw CTB as truly the best option, it was always too difficult and messy, and continuing to live was always just easier. It's not that living is easy, but that going through daily life is just easier than ctb.

Would you say that CTB is easier than just going through the daily motions of life?

Have you ever considered/ tried therapy?if you have tried it, what was your experience?

I'd say that CTB seems like it requires a lot of work, but I'd much rather go through those motions than have to keep living life. I, of course, know that life changes as time passes, but this has been a longstanding issue for me. It's been nearly a decade, and my thoughts on the matter haven't changed much, only the motivation.

It's no different than tossing an empty milk carton. Once something turns into trash and no longer serves a purpose, it should be thrown away.

This is such an apt analogy. If you keep the empty milk carton, it'll only gather mold and/or rot.
In another sense, if you have expired milk, why keep it? To spoil? (unless you drink expired milk, i probably couldn't handle that) There's no point in that, might as well toss it.

 

[Nothing………………….]

I'd say that CTB seems like it requires a lot of work, but I'd much rather go through those motions than have to keep living life. I, of course, know that life changes as time passes, but this has been a longstanding issue for me. It's been nearly a decade, and my thoughts on the matter haven't changed much, only the motivation.

This is such an apt analogy. If you keep the empty milk carton, it'll only gather mold and/or rot.
In another sense, if you have expired milk, why keep it? To spoil? There's no point in that, might as well toss it.

is there anything that you enjoy in life, or do you just consider it monotonous/ endless suffering?

It's no different than tossing an empty milk carton. Once something turns into trash and no longer serves a purpose, it should be thrown away.

Does life serve no purpose to you? And if so do you want it to serve a purpose, or are you just done?

I'd say that CTB seems like it requires a lot of work, but I'd much rather go through those motions than have to keep living life. I, of course, know that life changes as time passes, but this has been a longstanding issue for me. It's been nearly a decade, and my thoughts on the matter haven't changed much, only the motivation.

This is such an apt analogy. If you keep the empty milk carton, it'll only gather mold and/or rot.
In another sense, if you have expired milk, why keep it? To spoil? (unless you drink expired milk, i probably couldn't handle that) There's no point in that, might as well toss it.

apologies if I'm asking too many questions but I am genuinely curious. Would you rather your life changes and you start enjoying it, or just have it cease to exist entirely so that there's no potent for any suffering or happiness?

 

[Angel of Spades]

is there anything that you enjoy in life, or do you just consider it monotonous/ endless suffering?

Does life serve no purpose to you? And if so do you want it to serve a purpose, or are you just done?

That's an interesting question. I actually do have things I enjoy. It's not that I can't find things I like, it's just that I'm purely and wholly tired of living. I've suffered enough to last me 4 lifetimes, and that's more than enough for me. I have no doubt I could live a good life if I kept fighting for one, but I'm just so tired of fighting. And I do have internal personal issues, too — family problems, social issues, emotional difficulties, etc. There are lots of little things that pile up until it's not a bunch of little things but rather a big thing weighing down on me.

Life doesn't really serve a purpose to me. For me, it doesn't have to hold a purpose, it just has to end.

 

[SMmetalhead36]

I want to CTB because of my shitty life as a child and falling for a no good man who I had kids with and dealing with the regret from that. My current husband is trying his best to love me, but I feel empty. Another reason I want to CTB is because I don't understand why I was born in the first place. I held on so long because I wanted to make the best of the life I was given.

 

[Angel of Spades]

is there anything that you enjoy in life, or do you just consider it monotonous/ endless suffering?

Does life serve no purpose to you? And if so do you want it to serve a purpose, or are you just done?

apologies if I'm asking too many questions but I am genuinely curious. Would you rather your life changes and you start enjoying it, or just have it cease to exist entirely so that there's no potent for any suffering or happiness?

Oh to add onto your final question; my belief is that even if my life changed for the better, I would be unable to enjoy it. I'm too detached and too emotionally unavailable to make that happen, and I have no interest in attempting to fix those problems, either. (Therapy is not an option for me, nor do I wish it to be.) I'd rather just cease to exist. It would make it easier for everyone, and it would be my encore, really.

 

[ADeadBunny]

I could go on about the insufferable nature of my life and I will, but first what exactly do you mean here with this discussion? I imagine your query is that of morality and mindset. So I'll indulge on that front.

Do I think suicide is moral? Depends. If you've just committed a school shooting, no it's not moral. You've caused immeasurable pain and suffering and then essentially got off scott free. However in the context of this site, I do believe suicide to be moral.

In my case and for a lot of others here, we've been tormented beyond the point of breaking. We go through life dead in mind and soul, but the body persists. Personally, trauma has infected every aspect of my life and made it virtually impossible to function as a human being. Clinical depression since the age of 9 or 10 didn't help. The gender dysphoria was just the icing on the cake. For me getting better is such a herculean task that it is impractical to pursue. My mind is all but gone and my body seems to rot and decay from benieth me. I've never been able to experience a genuine human connection and now I wouldn't know one if it hit me in the face. Why would I want to continually experience this torture, isolated from everything that makes us human. This disease in my head is terminal. I am truely alone in my life and I have no reason to continue.

This is my subjective experience, but I think you'll find that other people share similar sentiment. People can be driven to accomplish what most consider to be impossible, but they can also be driven further into the depths of dispair that most could fathom. This site is a monument to what happens when people are driven so deep into despair that they become irrecoverable.

 

[sanction]

Thats fair enough, but what I want to discuss is pretty subjective, so being general doesn't really work. So for you personally would you consider CTB an easier option than continuing to live?

Some years ago, I was once pretty optimistic with life. I would by default want to live until a 100. I had big dreams and lots of positive energy to spread around. If someone told me they were suicidal, I would not understand it enough, and misunderstand that person as negative or even weird, and try to talk them out of it

Years later, now having more life experiences and understanding more how this world works, I can say with confidence, this world is a circus, a jungle, a huge dumpster full of craziness. It is simply better to not have been born in the first place, to save this unnecessary (and avoidable) headache

Consider yourself blessed if you don't feel its bad enough that suicide is a better option, and try to keep it that way. My guess is you're probably of a younger age group

 

[Nothing………………….]

Oh to add onto your final question; my belief is that even if my life changed for the better, I would be unable to enjoy it. I'm too detached and too emotionally unavailable to make that happen, and I have no interest in attempting to fix those problems, either. (Therapy is not an option for me, nor do I wish it to be.) I'd rather just cease to exist. It would make it easier for everyone, and it would be my encore, really.

Some years ago, I was once pretty optimistic with life. I would by default want to live until a 100. I had big dreams and lots of positive energy to spread around. If someone told me they were suicidal, I would not understand it enough, and misunderstand that person as negative or even weird, and try to talk them out of it

Years later, now having more life experiences and understanding more how this world works, I can say with confidence, this world is a circus, a jungle, a huge dumpster full of craziness. It is simply better to not have been born in the first place, to save this unnecessary (and avoidable) headache

Consider yourself blessed if you don't feel it's bad enough that suicide is a better option, and try to keep it that way. My guess is you're probably of a younger age group

Thanks for your replies, they were very helpful. This is a stupid thing of me to say but I hope you have a good day.

 

[Angel of Spades]

Thanks for your replies, they were very helpful. This is a stupid thing of me to say but I hope you have a good day.

I don't think it's stupid, and I appreciate it. I'll always be grateful for a good day, it just doesn't mean much in the long run. I still appreciate the sentiment, though :)

 

[Nothing………………….]

I could go on about the insufferable nature of my life and I will, but first what exactly do you mean here? I imagine your query is that of morality and mindset. Do I think suicide is moral? Depends. If you've just committed a school shooting, no it's not moral. You've caused immeasurable pain and suffering and then essentially got off scott free. However in the context of this site, I do believe suicide to be moral.

In my case and for a lot of others here, we've been tormented beyond the point of breaking. We go through life dead in mind and soul, but the body persists. Personally, trauma has infected every aspect of my life and made it virtually impossible to function as a human being. Clinical depression since the age of 9 or 10 didn't help. The gender dysphoria was just the icing on the cake. For me getting better is such a herculean task that it is impractical to pursue. My mind is all but gone and my body seems to rot and decay from benieth me. I've never been able to experience a genuine human connection and now I wouldn't know one if it hit me in the face. Why would I want to continually experience this torture, isolated from everything that makes us human. This disease in my head is terminal. I am truely alone in my life and I have no reason to continue.

This is my subjective experience, but I think you'll find that other people share similar sentiment. People can be driven to accomplish what most consider to be impossible, but they can also be driven further into the depths of dispair that most could fathom. This site is a monument to what happens when people are driven so deep into despair that they become irrecoverable.

My query was more about why you would think that suicide is the best option. I think suicide is terrible, not because the person committing suicide is terrible. I think it's just awful that CTB should ever be a better option than living to anyone, it shows how messed up our world is. I kinda just want to hear about the perspectives of the people on this site, since they're completely different to mine.

 

[Sleeper System]

I want to CTB because deep down I don't feel that I deserve to live.

The ungrateful recipient of a gift that under any other circumstances would
very much be welcomed and cherished. Do you realize that every person who is born into this world starts off as a winner? Do you understand the mathamatical odds of you being the sperm that made it into the egg before 300 million other sperm cells? You could never predict or control that outcome and yet we're here and it doesn't feel like a win at all.

If I were god and you came to me bitching about your life I would simply say " I created you... from NOTHING. What more do you want? " and it would be rational response. You have all the tools you need to make something of yourself and chose to complain and want to squander this impossible thing you've been given. It's a shame really.

You can easily sit there and say your life is tough and unfair and you've been through trauma or a bad childhood filled with abuse and neglect so you deserve to feel this way but the truth is... life has never been more simple and easy.

We don't have to hunt for food or risk starvation. We don't have to brave the elements or die from a common cold. We don't have to see death and despair in every corner like they did in early human history. We have so much they didn't. They wish they had what we have and take for granted.

So I can complain all I want and that's ok but it's all just noise.
I know that life could be worse but i dont care because im unhappy.
I wish I could donate my life to someone who wants it.
I'm clearly not using it right.

 

[Nothing………………….]

I want to CTB because deep down I don't feel that I deserve to live.

The ungrateful recipient of a gift that under any other circumstances would
very much be welcomed and cherished. Do you realize that every person who is born into this world starts off as a winner? Do you understand the mathamatical odds of you being the sperm that made it into the egg before 300 million other sperm cells? You could never predict or control that outcome and yet we're here and it doesn't feel like a win at all.

If I were god and you came to me bitching about your life I would simply say " I created you... from NOTHING. What more do you want? " and it would be rational response. You have all the tools you need to make something of yourself and chose to complain and want to squander this impossible thing you've been given. It's a shame really.

You can easily sit there and say your life is tough and unfair and you've been through trauma or a bad childhood filled with abuse and neglect so you deserve to feel this way but the truth is... life has never been more simple and easy.

We don't have to hunt for food or risk starvation. We don't have to brave the elements or die from a common cold. We don't have to see death and despair in every corner like they did in early human history. We have so much they didn't. They wish they had what we have and take for granted.

So I can complain all I want and that's ok but it's all just noise.
I know that life could be worse but i dont care because im unhappy.
I wish I could donate my life to someone who wants it.
I'm clearly not using it right.

Holy shit I never even thought of it like that, you're genuinely making me appreciate my life even more than I did before lol. I've already asked others this but do you enjoy any parts of life, or do you just see it as endless monotony that you wish to end, or do you see it as suffering that you wish to end?

 

[edu0z]

I want to CTB because deep down I don't feel that I deserve to live.

The ungrateful recipient of a gift that under any other circumstances would
very much be welcomed and cherished. Do you realize that every person who is born into this world starts off as a winner? Do you understand the mathamatical odds of you being the sperm that made it into the egg before 300 million other sperm cells? You could never predict or control that outcome and yet we're here and it doesn't feel like a win at all.

If I were god and you came to me bitching about your life I would simply say " I created you... from NOTHING. What more do you want? " and it would be rational response. You have all the tools you need to make something of yourself and chose to complain and want to squander this impossible thing you've been given. It's a shame really.

You can easily sit there and say your life is tough and unfair and you've been through trauma or a bad childhood filled with abuse and neglect so you deserve to feel this way but the truth is... life has never been more simple and easy.

We don't have to hunt for food or risk starvation. We don't have to brave the elements or die from a common cold. We don't have to see death and despair in every corner like they did in early human history. We have so much they didn't. They wish they had what we have and take for granted.

So I can complain all I want and that's ok but it's all just noise.
I know that life could be worse but i dont care because im unhappy.
I wish I could donate my life to someone who wants it.
I'm clearly not using it right.

wow i would never think that I would agree so much with any comment on the post.

 

[Sleeper System]

Holy shit I never even thought of it like that, you're genuinely making me appreciate my life even more than I did before lol. I've already asked others this but do you enjoy any parts of life, or do you just see it as endless monotony that you wish to end, or do you see it as suffering that you wish to end?

There are things that make me enjoy life, sure. I like food and drink. I like anime and manga. I like movies and tv shows.

But all of that stuff is just on the surface. None of it means anything. None of it amounts to anything other than distracting me from the passing of time. And none of that stuff comes free. You have to work your ass off for it. It almost makes it not enjoyable.

In the end we're going to experience more hardship than good times but we will justify to ourselves that the good times made everything worth it. It's a joke really.

 

[aldennn]

For me, I'm done with life. I see no purpose in continuing. I don't see a future for myself. It's a difficult topic for me to even explain, because the motivation behind it has changed drastically over the years. When I was younger, a lot of it was spite (at my parents, at my classmates, at my friends), and then it became just being unable to keep going. Now it's just pure exhaustion. I just want to get my ticket for the bus and not have to worry about any of the things I have going on anymore.

I get it but for me it's about a relationship that went hay wire ....a marriage ended and then I was with a narcissist..I just dont wanna do this any further and then I think about it..who will miss me ..who will want to see me around and the answer is everyone will be great without me

 

[Nothing………………….]

There are things that make me enjoy life, sure. I like food and drink. I like anime and manga. I like movies and tv shows.

But all of that stuff is just on the surface. None of it means anything. None of it amounts to anything other than distracting me from the passing of time. And none of that stuff comes free. You have to work your ass off for it. It almost makes it not enjoyable.

In the end we're going to experience more hardship than good times but we will justify to ourselves that the good times made everything worth it. It's a joke really.

Do you think it's possible (purely hypothetically) that you could experience enough good things to make it worth the bad stuff, or do you think that's just fundamentally impossible?

 

[edu0z]

This is purely just for the sake of discussion, Im interested in your views and how they differ from mine. if you're willing to indulge me then thats great, if you're on the site as a safe place/ to vent then just ignore me. I'm personally not suicidal and as a general rule don't think suicide is the best option most of the time (key word most, I only really use this as a general rule), so I want to discuss about why you do think that it's the best option and stuff like that, since I've never really heard any views other than mine before. I am willing to hear anyone and anything out.

I'm not going to repeat things already said in the post but I would like to say something that comes to mind every time I hear someone say the argument that: "we come into the world to suffer and everyone suffers and life is hell and pointless and pure suffering" .so what about the Capital punishment?... If life is so horrible then why for most of human history most of all human beings from different eras have agreed that the worst punishment that someone can have is death? I don't know, it seems like simple logic to me, you don't even have to go into complex arguments.

 

[Nothing………………….]

I'm not going to repeat things already said in the post but I would like to say something that comes to mind every time I hear someone say the argument that: "we come into the world to suffer and everyone suffers and life is hell and pointless and pure suffering" .so what about the Capital punishment?... If life is so horrible then why for most of human history most of all human beings from different eras have agreed that the worst punishment that someone can have is death? I don't know, it seems like simple logic to me, you don't even have to go into complex arguments.

I'd argue that for most suicidal people they do believe that life can be good, its just that theirs isn't.

 

[Sleeper System]

Do you think it's possible (purely hypothetically) that you could experience enough good things to make it worth the bad stuff, or do you think that's just fundamentally impossible?

I would say that it might already be too late for that. The number of harship that accrues in the life span of an average person tends to be more significant than the good. After a certain age, life hits you and you become an adult then it's all down hill from there. You realize your worth to society is based only what it can TAKE from you. and you just give in.

I think for me it's too late. Financial freedom might ease my way but based on what rich people have to say after awhile... even having the world at your fingertips becomes tedius.