Discussion Anyone willing to discuss suicide with me?

[Nothing………………….]

I would say that it might already be too late for that. The number of harship that accrues in the life span of an average person tends to be more significant than the good. After a certain age, life hits you and you become an adult then it's all down hill from there. You realize your worth to society is based only what it can TAKE from you. and you just give in.

I think for me it's too late. Financial freedom might ease my way but based on what rich people have to say after awhile... even having the world at your fingertips becomes tedius.

So Im assuming that you think living daily life is just pointless rather than hard necessarily. Would I be correct in that assumption? And if so then do you think CTB is worth the effort?

 

[Sleeper System]

I'm not going to repeat things already said in the post but I would like to say something that comes to mind every time I hear someone say the argument that: "we come into the world to suffer and everyone suffers and life is hell and pointless and pure suffering" .so what about the Capital punishment?... If life is so horrible then why for most of human history most of all human beings from different eras have agreed that the worst punishment that someone can have is death? I don't know, it seems like simple logic to me, you don't even have to go into complex arguments.

I think religion and general fear of the unknown was the reason that most people viewed death as the ultimate punishment and still do to this day. Death was never something people sought out for themselves. I think that people just knew a lot less than we do now. An arguement can also be bad about how hard times create hard people and soft times create soft people. Maybe we're not struggling ENOUGH. That's a scary thought.

So Im assuming that you think living daily life is just pointless rather than hard necessarily. Would I be correct in that assumption? And if so then do you think CTB is worth the effort?

I go through life thinking that things are annoying. The idea that things are pointless is sort of always in the back of my mind. It's when im alone and have a chance to think deeply that it comes to the front of my thoughts. but every day life just feels like a hassle like id rather be doing other things or nothing at all.

I think ctb is a way out with the least resistance. It's not about it being worth the effort for me. It's a decision based on rational deduction. Enduring life is a long journey. CTB is a quick escape.

 

[DoubleUp8]

I think and urge all the young people to reconsider and try every other option 1st. But it's your life and I feel everyone should have dominion over their own lives. If you're old and disabled like me and not extremely wealthy it probably is your best option at some point. Especially in America where the govt trying to kill us all anyway. Determined not to go through 70s disabled in America.

 

[Angel of Spades]

I want to CTB because deep down I don't feel that I deserve to live.

The ungrateful recipient of a gift that under any other circumstances would
very much be welcomed and cherished. Do you realize that every person who is born into this world starts off as a winner? Do you understand the mathamatical odds of you being the sperm that made it into the egg before 300 million other sperm cells? You could never predict or control that outcome and yet we're here and it doesn't feel like a win at all.

If I were god and you came to me bitching about your life I would simply say " I created you... from NOTHING. What more do you want? " and it would be rational response. You have all the tools you need to make something of yourself and chose to complain and want to squander this impossible thing you've been given. It's a shame really.

You can easily sit there and say your life is tough and unfair and you've been through trauma or a bad childhood filled with abuse and neglect so you deserve to feel this way but the truth is... life has never been more simple and easy.

We don't have to hunt for food or risk starvation. We don't have to brave the elements or die from a common cold. We don't have to see death and despair in every corner like they did in early human history. We have so much they didn't. They wish they had what we have and take for granted.

So I can complain all I want and that's ok but it's all just noise.
I know that life could be worse but i dont care because im unhappy.
I wish I could donate my life to someone who wants it.
I'm clearly not using it right.

This is such a perfect way to put it! That's how I feel a lot of the time, too. I know my life isn't remotely as bad as it could be, but I don't really want it either. It's not helping me, and it would honestly do so much better in someone else's hands.

I get it but for me it's about a relationship that went hay wire ....a marriage ended and then I was with a narcissist..I just dont wanna do this any further and then I think about it..who will miss me ..who will want to see me around and the answer is everyone will be great without me

That's exactly it. There's just nothing left to do. There's no one left to want you. Nobody would care if I died, and I assume that's how you feel about it too. Or... they would care, but they wouldn't need to mourn over me for very long. They would move on.

 

[Rouge4000]

This is purely just for the sake of discussion, Im interested in your views and how they differ from mine. if you're willing to indulge me then thats great, if you're on the site as a safe place/ to vent then just ignore me. I'm personally not suicidal and as a general rule don't think suicide is the best option most of the time (key word most, I only really use this as a general rule), so I want to discuss about why you do think that it's the best option and stuff like that, since I've never really heard any views other than mine before. I am willing to hear anyone and anything out.

You could just say you're not and looking for perspective lol. For me suicide is simply a choice that I choose to make based on how my life is turning out. I don't wanna WAIT for someone to get better when it isn't getting any better going on a year now lmao

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Throughout all my life (from late teens/early adulthood) it was somehow clear to me that suicide can be an option that I would consider should certain life circumstances occur. "Life circumstances" is pretty vague but it can be anything that makes life not worth to be lived anymore.

A honorable suicide is always the best choice.

For most of my life I was lucky that things went in my favor and I had not even a single thought about dying or suicide at all. But a few years ago I failed big in life which lead to depressive episodes and in the end active suicidal ideation and I ended up here.

It really would have been better if I was long gone, right after the failure bc it was already clear that recovery mission is almost impossible. It would have prevented me from much more suffering. CTB is sooner or later inevitable for me but I'm just not ready yet although I know that it would be better if I wasn't here anymore. But that's another topic how difficult it really is in the end.

I don't consider my life worth to be lived anymore bc I don't want to experience any further decline in my life quality. That's why a honorable and dignified suicide is justified in my opinion.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Well the reason why I wish I killed myself instead of live it out is because I crave death as early as possible which is something that a successful suicide can give me. The thing with death is that (my version of it anyway) sounds peaceful to me. I see death as permanent non existence where one feels no emotions or possesses no thoughts. There's just.. nothing. To me this is what I want as I suffer in life with no way to alleviate said suffering. People tend to calm down through events of suffering by having solace in a trusted friend or through social events or through interests like listening to music or.. well there are a couple of ways people calm down. Yet I could never access any of them due to my neurotype. I never made a single friend in my life nor do I really have interests I can rely on

Additionally, I always wanted inertia. I believe that life was never meant for people like me. I don't want to work or deal with responsibilities but I have to as long as I'm alive. However, when I'm dead, I'll be free from having to work

Unfortunately, death is only a dream of mine and it won't be a reality soon enough unless if a tragic accident were to happen to me which was out of my control. Because of this inertia that I possess as well as how the only suicide methods I can currently access are the risky and painful ones, I can't exactly kill myself either.

Hence I'm just stuck in limbo. Neither killing myself nor improving myself. Nonetheless, the desire I have for death is still there

 

[DandiFynalicious]

This is purely just for the sake of discussion, Im interested in your views and how they differ from mine. if you're willing to indulge me then thats great, if you're on the site as a safe place/ to vent then just ignore me. I'm personally not suicidal and as a general rule don't think suicide is the best option most of the time (key word most, I only really use this as a general rule), so I want to discuss about why you do think that it's the best option and stuff like that, since I've never really heard any views other than mine before. I am willing to hear anyone and anything out.

I consider it a way to permanently end my suffering. It is an escape hatch...but it can only be used once and I'm pretty much certain that once used, my consciousness is over. It is really and truly a permanent solution.

It is a bit like having a one time use big weapon or power up in a game and saving it for when you really need it and not wasting it on any minor challenge.

Once life becomes unbearable I will end it but so far it turns out I can handle a lot. One day it will be too much though and when that happens I know what to do.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd say for most people- it's simply that they have a problem in their life that they don't think they can fix. Or- they can see ways to fix it but they don't think the end goal will be worth the effort. Most people here are pro-choice too. So- on the face of it- they may not feel the need to justify their decision to you or anyone else. Basically- their life belongs to them. It's up to them what they do with it.

What I would say is- most people have at least tried to figure out ways of making life liveable. Many have tried multiple things that obviously haven't worked- for them. They may well have got to the point where they don't want to try anymore.

There's also differences here in attitude. Most like I say are pro-choice. Some though- are pro-choice with a pro-life leaning. They may well not actually want to suicide or want others to but may none the less recognise that in some cases, it can seem like the best option to avoid anavoidable suffering. Others are promortalist and think every living creature would be better off dead! We're a mixed crowd here...

 

[Photographer Fizzle]

I want to CTB because deep down I don't feel that I deserve to live.

The ungrateful recipient of a gift that under any other circumstances would
very much be welcomed and cherished. Do you realize that every person who is born into this world starts off as a winner? Do you understand the mathamatical odds of you being the sperm that made it into the egg before 300 million other sperm cells? You could never predict or control that outcome and yet we're here and it doesn't feel like a win at all.

If I were god and you came to me bitching about your life I would simply say " I created you... from NOTHING. What more do you want? " and it would be rational response. You have all the tools you need to make something of yourself and chose to complain and want to squander this impossible thing you've been given. It's a shame really.

You can easily sit there and say your life is tough and unfair and you've been through trauma or a bad childhood filled with abuse and neglect so you deserve to feel this way but the truth is... life has never been more simple and easy.

We don't have to hunt for food or risk starvation. We don't have to brave the elements or die from a common cold. We don't have to see death and despair in every corner like they did in early human history. We have so much they didn't. They wish they had what we have and take for granted.

So I can complain all I want and that's ok but it's all just noise.
I know that life could be worse but i dont care because im unhappy.
I wish I could donate my life to someone who wants it.
I'm clearly not using it right.

Except it's not the case that everyone can get by. Sure, ostensible hunting has ended, but the need to gather resources to gather food remains. Sure, death and despair aren't on every street corner, but in many places, even in the U.S., impoverished living situations remain stark reminders of the difficulties some people can have.

I hear your point about general quality of life, but much of your statement comes off as invalidating. Trauma is a real and damaging thing, and studies demonstrate people respond differently to the same stressors -- ergo, your traumas aren't necessarily mine and vice versa. Childhood emotional abuse remains one of the most ruinous things in the world, and a qick Google search will reveal a troubling but consistent pattern in the back stories of serial killers and mass murderers.

So, yes, medicine and industry have advanced such that human lives are longer than ever, quality of life is generally better in most places and food, shelter and comfort are accessible (to many) at rates inconceivable to people even 100 years ago.
However, human civilization is an imperfect construct that still runs on the ancient engines of natural selection and competition for resources.

 

[Kit1]

The first time I tried to end my life was at the age of 14. I was apparently found roaming down the street from the age of 3/4. Abused throughout my childhood - every kind of abuse and the earliest documented age was 2 and possibly earlier. Left home at 14/15 and essentially was homeless hiding from social services and police as I though I was found, I would be raped or returned to the family.

Leaving home was the first positive thing I did - and that says something. Hiding in a play area in London so that no one knew that there was a on the street- absolute dread and fear, cold/frozen, disassociated, a fight for survival and yet liberation and freedom from rape, violence and more. Actually life worked out. I managed to seeing three jobs, worked and rented a room - someone the employers and definitely the landlady took advantage of my innocence and vulnerability. ButbInstill thrived, went ro college as soon as I turned 16, went to university and eventually ended up in secure long term employment - been with the same employer for the past it 23 years and it is a privilege to donwhat I do. Fell in love and have two wonderful children. My life sounds ideal in a lot of ways.

Yet I struggle to keep myself alive and safe for my children - despite knowing how lucky I have been in the lottery of life. Flashbacks, nightmares, cPTSD, CFS, autism, pain and so much more rules my life. I managed survival, masking, hiding my pain from the human race and I coped. Then covid came round, I went downhill and never managed to pick myself like I used to do. My doctor/GP stepped in and supported me and kept me alive - and then shut the door on my face alive to a change in rules about how one contacts the surgery and due to accessibility challenges, I am back at the cliff edge, unmanaged overdoses when dissociated etc.

I am angry with myself for not managing, for trusting that the medical system will keep me alive etc. And now I know that as much as I cannot really afford to end my life to protect my children and I will try to stay alive - I also know that there is a high probability that I will end my life especially in a vulnerable dissociative place as (just like birth family), the systems that are built to protect its people (such as the medical systems) has turned out to be punitive, discriminatory, destructive and a complete let down.

 

[ADeadBunny]

My query was more about why you would think that suicide is the best option. I think suicide is terrible, not because the person committing suicide is terrible. I think it's just awful that CTB should ever be a better option than living to anyone, it shows how messed up our world is. I kinda just want to hear about the perspectives of the people on this site, since they're completely different to mine.

Ah, I understand. Well I suppose I don't believe suicide to be the "best" option, but it's often the only option that you'd be left with in a miriad of terrible situations. I believe a painless and quick death should be afforded to any adult with a sound mind. I believe in choice. I believe that I should be able to do whatever I want with my life and my body, including to end it at my discretion.

Personally, as I previously stated, getting better and being able to life a life that I would be content in is not feasible. I'm in constant pain and my only desire is for that pain to cease. I don't want to die per se, but dead people don't suffer. At least not in any capacity that we can measure.

I hope this does well to aid in your understanding.

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

Well
I'm to broke for euthanasia
And I'm chronically ill and disabled so my life is stuck in a cycle of pain

 

[Nothing………………….]

Except it's not the case that everyone can get by. Sure, ostensible hunting has ended, but the need to gather resources to gather food remains. Sure, death and despair aren't on every street corner, but in many places, even in the U.S., impoverished living situations remain stark reminders of the difficulties some people can have.

I hear your point about general quality of life, but much of your statement comes off as invalidating. Trauma is a real and damaging thing, and studies demonstrate people respond differently to the same stressors -- ergo, your traumas aren't necessarily mine and vice versa. Childhood emotional abuse remains one of the most ruinous things in the world, and a qick Google search will reveal a troubling but consistent pattern in the back stories of serial killers and mass murderers.

So, yes, medicine and industry have advanced such that human lives are longer than ever, quality of life is generally better in most places and food, shelter and comfort are accessible (to many) at rates inconceivable to people even 100 years ago.
However, human civilization is an imperfect construct that still runs on the ancient engines of natural selection and competition for resources.

I think you might have missed the point of what sleeper system was saying.