NSFW Anyone suffering a dead bedroom?

[pechaberry]

My last two relationships have been years long. One was 7 years and the one I have now is 5. Both relationships turned into a dead bedroom of sex maybe once a year. Both times I loved my partner more than anything. I finally left my first partner because I just couldn't do it anymore. When I met the partner I have now we had a normal sex life and I thought I had found the one. Now I'm right back where I started. I seem to be the common factor so it has to be me. I think maybe it's the cloud of depression that just follows me. I try to be attractive and fit. I try to dress well and be desirable. It always seem to come back to this though. Recently I can't maintain even the basics anymore. I'm so fucking depressed I can't shower or clean. I'm spiraling and now I'm certain sex won't come back. I think I'm venting or ranting now. Sorry. Maybe I should hire an escort before I ctb haha. I worked as an escort for a long time when I had nothing. Maybe it's my turn to be on the other side? Does anyone else suffer with this stuff? I'm sorry for spelling errors and word vomiting.

 

[fedup1982]

My gf and I only have sex about once every 6 months. She almost never turns down sex if I initiate. It's my fault. Between the psychosis, depression, medication that lowers my libido, porn habit, and my poor bathing habit of not washing for a week plus, it just rarely seems like an activity I feel like doing.

Thankfully she is now OK with it, she's just come to terms with it now which I'm really grateful.

Thankfully we are really quite affectionate and have lots of cuddles and that seems to make up for it for us

 

[Jadeith]

My bedroom life was quite eventful and fulfilling. Was. See, most of those interactions, just like in fedup's case, were initiated by me. Almost never turned down but still, starting things was on my side. But, in time, my drive kinda dropped. Maybe it was this "i'm always initiating, why my partner can't do it? Don't want me or sth?". Maybe it has sth to do with probable depression. Probable as i was never diagnosed by professional, only "peer reviewed" by someone who has first-hand experience with this kind of shit. Thing is, sex ain't what it used to be. Not thrilling anymore, even if we try new things. And culmination? Usually underwhelming. Yea, i came. So what. Seem like an element of anhedonia but i don't want to play with doctor Google here. I simply don't give a fuck anymore. Neither proverbial nor real one.