Anyone over 35 — find a dream?

[orca87]

I lost everything Last year. My whole life has been an Illusion, for the good parts. Or a struggle from crisis to crisis, depending on how you look at it.

I've had it all, but I was too delusional to keep it. And I've lost everything.

To me, even if I disrespect any probabilities, there is just nothing that could happen that would make me happy. Even if I could wish for everything, there is nothing I could imagine making me feel less miserable.

Has anyone managed to find at least a picture of the future, let Aline hope?

 

[guayabas]

I would by no means call myself recovered. I don't think I'll ever rule out ctb as an option for me in the future if things get too bad. And I'm kinda just on a 2 day upswing atm lol. But I will say this. My desire to ctb the past few months has been solely due to life circumstances that are mostly caused by poverty, due to being disabled, trapping me in a relationship with a manipulative asshole who makes me feel like shit about myself.

prior to this though, I was able to find happiness and made no plans to ctb for many years, despite all the issues that came up in life. It's gonna be different for everyone so idk if my journey will be helpful to you, I can give you more details if you're interested. But age isn't a barrier to finding a dream or hope.

I wasn't always this disabled, and I took a long time trying to become abled again before I realized, this is just my reality now and I have to accept it and adapt. I had to find new goals and new hobbies and new friends. I had to prioritize different things for my life and from the ppl I surrounded myself with. I had to figure out what worked for me outside any societal expectations.

I also wanna mention that finding the right antidepressant for me was a big part of it. Not that that's necessary or even accessible for everyone, I just wanna be transparent about it though. It took months and lots of experimenting for me to find the right one and I'm not sure I'd still be around if it weren't for that.

I hope you're able to find some sort of enjoyment or meaning out of your life regardless of how old you grow

 

[Sulyya]

I hope you can build something good - whatever you can. At 36 I don't have much but just trying to make small steps is worth it.

 

[orca87]

I hope you can build something good - whatever you can. At 36 I don't have much but just trying to make small steps is worth it.

That's the point for me. My whole life was built in "it's worth it" and small steps.

I've had it all. I've had the best life I could imagine. And now nothing would bring me even close. It's more grief than despair to me.

 

[damnatio memoriae]

Not over 35 but I relate, I want to be a marine biologist but the current and future state of the oceans makes me feel depressed. I don't want to watch marine life fade as my job. I wish I would study for marine bio instead but I'm going to get a CompTIA A+ because I literally have nothing else to do

 

[LittleBlackCat]

I'm over 35. Feel like my life is over now.. I actually feel like I've lived my life and I'm now an old lady .. in reality I'm not, but I can't imagine living until 60/70.. I don't know how people do that.

 

[orca87]

I'm over 35. Feel like my life is over now.. I actually feel like I've lived my life and I'm now an old lady .. in reality I'm not, but I can't imagine living until 60/70.. I don't know how people do that.

I feel you… I have seen everything— even those things I considered being out of reach for me. Now I lost everything and starting from scratch feels too late