Anyone let themselves go?

[Pluto]

Let me give one piece of advice, though. Place a priority on your teeth no matter how bad your state. They can cost tens of thousands of dollars and cause unspeakable pain later in life if you do ultimately recover.

 

[Idontmatter]

Yes- I'm still working but it's a huge struggle to get out of bed to get ready for work. I go home and go right to bed. I can't concentrate at work because I'm so tired.

 

[Why Me?]

I want to thank everybody for being open and honest about this topic, because it makes me realize that I'm not the only one that has been struggling like this.

 

[goldenvirginia]

I was totally in that place. Didn't give a shit about anything anymore. Until I realised not making an effort was making how I felt even worse. Was a slow start, baby steps even, but I'm making progress every day now.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

Really, really sorry to hear you're going through that mate. I can relate to most of it, though, for what it's worth. It's like things tend to slowly fall away isn't it? It's as though your world slowly becomes a smaller place, things fall away until you're just a single point of life - existing - just breathing and experiencing, being alive, but that's all.

I used to play rugby, but stopped, I used to box but that stopped. I recently stopped going to the gym to lift heavy, and used to do a tonne of conditioning, although that's all slipped away fairly recently so I'm still pretty big and in shape for the time being - that too will change no doubt.

Also, now, certain things that I used to derive enjoyment from, I can't even face because they remind me of certain things, certain people, times, situations, the past, regrets, things I've lost, all sorts really.
So I haven't only lost enjoyment from them, but even the very thought of doing them, and thinking about it causing me to ruminate on things stops me even attempting them in the first place. If that makes sense?

I used to love reading, but aside from a very few select things, I can't. I can't watch anything apart from bits relating to an ever decreasing pool of subjects I've been interested in over the years. Music? The pool of choice that I can tolerate is getting smaller by the day.

Currently I push myself to do the things I know I must - anything related to hygiene, keeping the place tidy, doing the washing and so on. But I do have to make myself do it, which is nothing more than self discipline now I think. I used to absolutely love cooking good food, but now I eat the basic minimum, sometimes eating one small meal a day. I can't even stand the thought of making something dapper in the kitchen.

I could go on, but as you can see, I definitely empathise with you. Fun it ain't

I relate to SO MUCH of this. Especially about everything slowly falling away, bit by bit, and one's world becoming smaller and smaller and also about things you used to love doing turning into only sources of pain because they remind you of past experiences, people, times, etc. I'm so very sorry you're going through this hell, too, but at the same time it's comforting to find people who understand about these issues -- no one in my real life does.

I admire you for having the discipline to keep up on things like hygiene and cleaning and things. That's not easy to do and you should be proud of yourself. I hope for you that somehow things will get better.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

when I do it is the most dreadful feeling. I wake up feeling a sense of doom. Its like waking up in hell metaphorically.

I experience this regularly. I can't believe I have to face another day in this state, and it's only 7 am. I can't believe I have to occupy myself for another 14 hours, and I feel panic about what I'm going to do to get through to the evening.

 

[MementoMori81]

I relate to SO MUCH of this. Especially about everything slowly falling away, bit by bit, and one's world becoming smaller and smaller and also about things you used to love doing turning into only sources of pain because they remind you of past experiences, people, times, etc. I'm so very sorry you're going through this hell, too, but at the same time it's comforting to find people who understand about these issues -- no one in my real life does.

I admire you for having the discipline to keep up on things like hygiene and cleaning and things. That's not easy to do and you should be proud of yourself. I hope for you that somehow things will get better.

Thank you. That's exactly how it feel doesn't it? It's almost as though you're slowly stripped of everything you feel makes up what others know to be 'you' - if that makes sense? I'm glad that I can offer you something that's familiar, something you can relate to so that you know you're not alone in feeling like this, that you have someone else who understands what you, too, are going through and so can offer empathy. I like that reading my reply has perhaps given you a feeling of relief like that - I find this place helps a lot in that way. Mutual understanding with others in the same or similar positions.

Thank you, that's really kind of you to say. I think where I was in the forces, I've retained a level of self discipline that forces me to keep on top of my personal admin; my hygiene, cleaning, washing etc. I really hope things improve for you, too. I don't want to see anyone feeling how people here feel, and if I could do one thing, it'd be to take the ills - whether physical, mental or both - of everyone on this site and have them go with me.

 

[Ligottian]

I try to keep my body hygiene decent. Showering, brushing teeth, shaving. Keeping my clothes clean. But my house keeping is often a horror.