Story Anyone in therapy that can tell me about their experiences?

[NekoHime2]

First post,
for roughly 3 years my mental health steadily got worse and worse, for the last year ish now my mind is almost always preoccupied with the thought of just ending it. Whenever Im in such a mood, I just dont feel anything which is weird because I usually always cry at the thought of what my mother would feel like but I just cant feel anything idk weird. Opened up to my mom a bit, didnt tell her too much about the suicidal thoughts mostly that ive been depressed. Now im trying to find a therapist next week, got a reccomendation from the family doc, anxious and scared but lets see how this turns out.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

welcome to ss! thats really good that you've been able to reach out for help, i really wish you all the best with recovery!
ive been in and out of therapy for 9 years, im currently out at the moment bc my insurance only covered so many sessions of the last type of therapy i tried. theres a lot of different types of therapy. ive tried family therapy (didnt go well at all for me because theres a lot more variables to consider), cbt (cognitive behavioural therapy), and dbt (dialectical behaviour therapy), as well as just general counselling, but theres a lot more out there. so far ive yet to find any type of therapy that helps my specific needs. im beginning to wonder if i should try trauma therapy, as all of the things ive tried have just been teaching me how to cope instead of actually healing if that makes sense.
it takes a lot of trial and error, not only finding the type of therapy that works for you, but also finding a therapist that you get on well with. if you have any doubts at all, its really important that you mention them so you dont waste time or money with a therapist you dont like or with a type of therapy you dont feel is helping. i think this is the main reason ive been in therapy for so long yet found nothing very helpful, i just try to stick it out until the end even when i feel like its not helping and i struggle letting ppl know when im not satisfied with something. so please dont let my experience discourage you, everyones journey is different.
on the note of feeling like its not helping, you may find that things will get worse before they get better, which doesnt always mean its not working. it can be a difficult and sometimes painful thing to go through, which is another reason why its so important to communicate with your therapist any concerns you have. its like for example say you have a thorn in your finger and its hurting so much you cant use your hand, but in order to fix it you need to yank the thorn out which will hurt more than how it already is hurting, but once youve pulled it out then the wound can start to heal.
hope this made sense and was at least somewhat helpful. its natural to be nervous about starting something new, especially therapy. i hope it goes well for you and you find what you need to heal. <3

 

[EternalDaydreaming]

I've had many therapists most of them were pretty bad but I found one that I connect to and I can explain most of my thoughts (not all) without being sent straight to a mental hospital.

 

[Torabol]

Therapy takes years but given you were lucky to have a good therapist, can turn your life around for the better. I understand the anxiety and fear, therapy is not easy, but it's worth the try.

It's hard to explain how therapy works, especially for someone who isn't educated in the field (I mean me.), but as a patient I can give this small description that might help others get it:

Half a year ago, having an awful thought pop into my head would debilitate me. Today, I don't care, as the path of thoughts leading to that debilitating never occurs. that tiny part of my brain has been rewired, essentially.

 

[BetweenRadioStations]

Welcome
I hope things work out for you

 

[DeathSleep]

I love my therapist. She's the one person who gets me. It's worth finding someone you connect with and are comfortable opening up with. Don't settle for less. Therapy can be great. I hope it goes well for you.

 

[Duality]

I find that just finding someone to talk to can make a difference in how I feel in that particular moment, but I am wary of truly opening up about ending my life since every therapist has this 'disclaimer'. You know, where they say that if I feel like I am going to hurt myself or others then they need to report it.

Despite that, even opening up just a teeny bit does help. However I have ceased seeing a therapist for a while as, ultimately, the 'disclaimer' issue is a big problem for me and simply talking to someone won't help with why I ultimately want to die.

Anyway, don't let my experience deter you from seeking help. I hope that you were able to see someone and that it helped you.

 

[Valky]

It can help immensely.

'can' because sadly, a lot of therapists are just straight out dicks. But don't give up, this is sadly quite normal but that doesn't mean that there isn't the right one waiting for you out there.

It helps you sort your thoughts. It helps you to determine and express your feelings better. You learn what is going on with you and how to deal with it. You can realise things that you have overlooked. Simply just venting to someone is very freeing for a lot of people.

It is normal to be scared but you got this!
I wish you all the best <3

 

[YAYorNAY]

I like my therapist, but I had to meet a few that I didn't like before I found her.
dont just settle for the first one and try finding one your compatible with.
and don't let the bad ones discourage you!

 

[Tapir]

I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling worse and worse. I'm glad you were able to at least talk about what's been going on a little and that you have a referral from your doctor.

As you might already know, there are some different kinds of therapists - ones who mostly focus on talking about your present and your past (psychoanalytic), ones who focus on processing particular difficult events or behaviors (DBT or CBT), pyschiatrists who can do talking therapy and prescribe medicines and other kinds as well (EMDR, somatic, I'm sure many others). As other folks have said, it can take a few tries to find the right therapist and this can feel exhausting which sucks when you already feel depressed or anxious or sad enough to be going to a therapist to begin with.

Having a good therapist has changed my life. I have a lot of chronic suicidal thoughts and having someone that I can talk to about them has offered me a lot of relief. Knowing that I have a scheduled time and place I can go with my horrible feelings has helped me get thorough a lot of shit.

In my experience (as a cis het white woman in the Northeastern US) saying I wanted to kill myself did not lead to instant hospitalization. I have only gone to the hospital voluntarily when I felt like my thoughts were too out of control. I did have a method in mind once and had pretty easy access to the means to make it happen and my therapist was ethically required to speak with my boyfriend who I lived with at the time to help us both make a plan to help keep me safe. I was completely mortified (almost 15 years ago now) and mad at how powerless I felt. Although my boyfriend (who I don't think really understood much about mental health issues) helped make a safety plan and carried it out and we didn't talk about it otherwise - so it was ultimately fine (And I also did not make a suicide attempt using that method, so I suppose the safety plan worked as well).

I hope that you find a therapist that is right for you and I hope you find this forum helpful.

Take care