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D

DoMore

Member
Jun 25, 2024
8
Hey Caleb,

It's my first post too! I had some real low spells during my teens & 20's, however during my 30's I think I overcame this and broadly speaking felt well again, it was around turning 40 that I started to sink back down again, I'm 45 soon and the spiral downwards continues. I guess life just keeps churning on, untill it doesn't.
 
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AshersGirl

AshersGirl

Girl, Interrupted
Apr 29, 2022
386
Welcome to the forum Caleb. I'm in my early 40s, been knocking about here for two years, though I take time outs when I'm disassociative. As you've seen, there are a fair few of us.

When I'm not so active, I sometimes still lurk and read. It's about the only place I feel less like an alien, even when I don't have the energy to engage. I hope you find some semblance of comfort or support here too.
 
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Csmith8827

Csmith8827

"We'll fly away, We'll find a way"
Oct 26, 2019
838
I'm 35 but there are a lot of older members here as you can see... it's not all young people...though at times it does seem that way.
 
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L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,485
46
And looking back on a lifetime of mental illness…
 
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E

ExitLight

New Member
Jun 20, 2023
2
I am 46. I've been lurking on SS since the Reddit days. I have hated myself for as long as I can remember. Meds and therapy have only masked what I intrinsically know to be true: that I should not be alive. So why am I? My fear of death takes over every time I get close to making the call. The guilt of leaving my loved ones in pain also comes into play. I have come to accept that I am doomed to live this rotten life to its bitter end. This is the only place I can go where I can openly commiserate with others about suicidal thoughts and feelings, without making the normal people uncomfortable, or getting myself locked up.
 
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C

Cruelhearted

Member
Feb 12, 2024
19
My first post here. I am 42. I feel like I am the oldest member here. I don't think there is anything wrong with it but I can't help but feel extra shitty because I feel like, by having lived this long, I have contributed well enough the misery of every 25 yo or younger person here. I am biding my time to ctb. I am just sorry I lasted this long.
Nope, 47 here.
 
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S

suffering_mo_7

Experienced
May 8, 2024
213
46. I don't want to be suicidal but am suffering immensely, physically and neurologically. I loved my life just 8 short months ago.
 
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Lookingtoflyfree

Lookingtoflyfree

Experienced
Jan 11, 2024
211
Not going to reveal my age but old enough that I'm exhausted by decades of struggle. You're not alone.
 
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S

scientificmethid

Member
Feb 12, 2024
13
38
 
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W

wyo777

When life is a nightmare...
May 18, 2024
185
43 and totally agree with post before. Ammount of young people looking for CTB is huge. It is hard to watch it.
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
3,698
 
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Bremer

Bremer

Member
Feb 2, 2024
16
Not going to reveal my age but old enough that I'm exhausted by decades of struggle. You're not alone.
Folks, I don't mean to sound rude, but anyone who thinks that age alone, a simple number, says anything about the person, the traumas, physical and mental illnesses, feelings and despair and pain (which I'm just assuming across the board when you join a forum like this) has not understood that we are all a product of genetics and individual experiences.

What happens to some of us in the early years of a young life can bring them to the exact same point where they don't know how or why they have to go on living as someone significantly older. It's not about age, it's about what has happened to us so far. But that can neither be easily measured nor quantified.

I think your post sums it up: decades of experience are enough.
Whether it's "only" two (where many say they are "children" who have a life ahead of them after all), 5 (in my case it will soon be 5) or 8 decades. The only unacceptable thing for me is people who make the decision to end their existence in an emotionally unstable moment, almost on impulse, who are otherwise stable in their lives. Impulsive suicide attempts should be prevented, people who make a decision for themselves based on their life so far and the things they have been through, who exchange ideas here, network, reflect and realize that it is their choice to live or end their existence, I respect - regardless of their age. Yes, "only 2 decades" can feel like a finally long agony, after 2 decades you are of age and should also have the right to self-determination.

And I know people who are mature and very reflective in their 20s, whereas I also know plenty of "adults" aged 30, 40, 50, (...) who have little life experience and act like children.

Just my humble opinion.
 
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DefinitelyReady

DefinitelyReady

Life is definitely not a song...
Mar 14, 2024
892
Thre = 40+ chat rm

If thre = enuf intrst am sre tht a 40+ peer spport thred cld b mde fr 'oldr' membrs t/ cme 2gthr
Maybe 35+ and up would help?
or a "Mature Audience" section. Idk. Something to set apart the older and younger crowd where they have options
 
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Spiritual survivor

Spiritual survivor

A born again but occasionally suicidal
Feb 13, 2022
509
I'm 47F
 
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Lookingtoflyfree

Lookingtoflyfree

Experienced
Jan 11, 2024
211
Folks, I don't mean to sound rude, but anyone who thinks that age alone, a simple number, says anything about the person, the traumas, physical and mental illnesses, feelings and despair and pain (which I'm just assuming across the board when you join a forum like this) has not understood that we are all a product of genetics and individual experiences.

What happens to some of us in the early years of a young life can bring them to the exact same point where they don't know how or why they have to go on living as someone significantly older. It's not about age, it's about what has happened to us so far. But that can neither be easily measured nor quantified.

I think your post sums it up: decades of experience are enough.
Whether it's "only" two (where many say they are "children" who have a life ahead of them after all), 5 (in my case it will soon be 5) or 8 decades. The only unacceptable thing for me is people who make the decision to end their existence in an emotionally unstable moment, almost on impulse, who are otherwise stable in their lives. Impulsive suicide attempts should be prevented, people who make a decision for themselves based on their life so far and the things they have been through, who exchange ideas here, network, reflect and realize that it is their choice to live or end their existence, I respect - regardless of their age. Yes, "only 2 decades" can feel like a finally long agony, after 2 decades you are of age and should also have the right to self-determination.

And I know people who are mature and very reflective in their 20s, whereas I also know plenty of "adults" aged 30, 40, 50, (...) who have little life experience and act like children.

Just my humble opinion.

Whenever someone starts out 'I don't meant to...' it general is :D

I don't think any of us have a right to judge what is stable or not or, or impulsive or not. When you've reached the end and you tried, then I respect someone's right to not be here. As someone planning my demise, I couldn't give a toss about what's acceptable to someone stranger online. My life, my choice.
 
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Apathy79

Apathy79

Arcanist
Oct 13, 2019
470
Also 44. Some of our usernames give it away!
 
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D

DeadFlowers

Member
Jul 6, 2024
6
I'm in my fifties. So far, it does seem like it's more younger people here.
 
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Bremer

Bremer

Member
Feb 2, 2024
16
Whenever someone starts out 'I don't meant to...' it general is :D

I don't think any of us have a right to judge what is stable or not or, or impulsive or not. When you've reached the end and you tried, then I respect someone's right to not be here. As someone planning my demise, I couldn't give a toss about what's acceptable to someone stranger online. My life, my choice.

I agree with you. Period.

What I was alluding to are phases in development in which people ("children") can feel deep pain due to pubertal restructuring of the brain and organism, perhaps because their first love has broken up, or for whatever reason. It is precisely in such phases that a desire to die can temporarly manifest itself. But these "children" need help, because such phases pass.

You write when you have reached the end and tried. That's exactly what I didn't mean - and no, no one has the right to pass judgment then.

Your life, your choice. Absolutely.
 
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4everHeartBroken

4everHeartBroken

Experienced
Feb 11, 2024
200
My first post here. I am 42. I feel like I am the oldest member here. I don't think there is anything wrong with it but I can't help but feel extra shitty because I feel like, by having lived this long, I have contributed well enough the misery of every 25 yo or younger person here. I am biding my time to ctb. I am just sorry I lasted this long.
In my 40s.
 
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R

ropearoundatree

Student
Nov 9, 2023
189
My first post here. I am 42. I feel like I am the oldest member here. I don't think there is anything wrong with it but I can't help but feel extra shitty because I feel like, by having lived this long, I have contributed well enough the misery of every 25 yo or younger person here. I am biding my time to ctb. I am just sorry I lasted this long.
Yup. I'm even older than that! If you can believe it? (that such a thing, can exist/or occur...) Just joking~ I swear, I sometimes forget: but it's mid to late 40's - or am I off by a decade, or more, given what's given. . .. w/my memory related, "issues?" ;D hahah~ Take care^
 
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DefinitelyReady

DefinitelyReady

Life is definitely not a song...
Mar 14, 2024
892
I'm in my fifties. So far, it does seem like it's more younger people here.
I had made a poll. Of course not everyone participated but like half who were between the ages 18-24 :/
 
Lookingtoflyfree

Lookingtoflyfree

Experienced
Jan 11, 2024
211
I agree with you. Period.

What I was alluding to are phases in development in which people ("children") can feel deep pain due to pubertal restructuring of the brain and organism, perhaps because their first love has broken up, or for whatever reason. It is precisely in such phases that a desire to die can temporarly manifest itself. But these "children" need help, because such phases pass.

You write when you have reached the end and tried. That's exactly what I didn't mean - and no, no one has the right to pass judgment then.

Your life, your choice. Absolutely.
I wish people took more care about what they communicate. Your original post was dismissive, so good job on that I suppose.

most online forums are a reminder for me: use them to answer questions and don't bother with social contact any more.
 
N

Not a Cylon

Blah
Jun 27, 2024
49
My first post here. I am 42. I feel like I am the oldest member here. I don't think there is anything wrong with it but I can't help but feel extra shitty because I feel like, by having lived this long, I have contributed well enough the misery of every 25 yo or younger person here. I am biding my time to ctb. I am just sorry I lasted this long.
I'm middle aged as well. Hi friend. Hate that you're suffering :(
 

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