anyone here with insomnia?

[idonothing]

Yeah, I've been struggling with insomnia for a little over two months now. It comes during particularly hard times and lately I've been having one of the roughest patches I ever have. It's brought on by intense depression and rumination, unsatisfied thoughts which I can't really get closure on. I get three hours of sleep on a good night and those three hours are always separated by me waking up for around thirty minutes in between each one, heart pounding and thoughts racing. And when I do sleep I have the most overwhelming incessant dreaming about all kinds of things, whether they're related to what I've been struggling with mentally directly or just surreal insanity and terror. I feel like I haven't actually fully fallen asleep more than a handful of times during this, instead being in this strange state of half awakeness, half sleep. On top of other things in my life the sleep issues have greatly contributed to my struggling. It's so hard to deal with

 

[mia_qwerty]

Every night

Do you find that hard? I really hate that I can't sleep without them. It's scary. I hear when people come off they don't sleep for a while before natural sleeps starts to return. I'm tempted to try but I've tried about 5 times and it never worked. I feel trapped.

 

[DreamEnd]

Do you find that hard? I really hate that I can't sleep without them. It's scary. I hear when people come off they don't sleep for a while before natural sleeps starts to return. I'm tempted to try but I've tried about 5 times and it never worked. I feel trapped.

The thing about this is everyone is different. For some it takes a week, some a month and for some years. I personally can't take more than a few days without sleep so I won't try to get off it

 

[RichardFirst]

I've been lucky enough to NOT suffer from this throughout my life. However, many, many people in my family have had insomnia. In particular, my own father suffered very badly from it, and we all in turn suffered from his foul moods as a result. It's a curse.

 

[jackrussell023]

When I'm feeling really down, I don't want to go to sleep as my brain starts recycling all the bad stuff so I've done 36hrs straight of netflix multiple times just to avoid allowing space for the bad stuff to enter.

 

[mia_qwerty]

The thing about this is everyone is different. For some it takes a week, some a month and for some years. I personally can't take more than a few days without sleep so I won't try to get off it

Yeah I'm no good a missing a night (having gone 3 weeks with none then another week after that) I can't take anymore nights without sleep. So I don't feel able to make the jump

 

[DreamEnd]

Yeah I'm no good a missing a night (having gone 3 weeks with none then another week after that) I can't take anymore nights without sleep. So I don't feel able to make the jump

How do you go 3 weeks with none? Aren't you like a dead zombie by then?

 

[BlazingBob]

Damn I'm sorry. What diseases do you have?

Thank you. I have severe, refractory idiopathic RLS, sleep apnea, PLMD, insomnia, and night terrors. Possibly also me/cfs. It's basically impossible for me to get quality refreshing sleep. It's a living hell. RLS is absolute torture and requires I take a medication that's fifty plus times more potent than morphine to stop the indescribable torment in my legs and sometimes arms. As soon as I relax any time of day,as soon as I start to transition from wakefulness to sleep it strikes. It's pure hell. Not being able to sleep properly or at all for the last 20 years has ruined my chances of ever getting married and starting a family, buying a home, etc. I've lost many jobs because of my unpredictable sleep. All this shit is on top of years of severe, treatment resistant depression. It's all too much to deal with especially when I have no family of origin that care if I live or die. Sorry for such a long answer. I'm beyond ready to ctb, just waiting for the dogs to go first which won't be too much longer. Losing them will be a huge catalyst for me to finally ctb because they're my life.

 

[DreamEnd]

Thank you. I have severe, refractory idiopathic RLS, sleep apnea, PLMD, insomnia, and night terrors. Possibly also me/cfs. It's basically impossible for me to get quality refreshing sleep. It's a living hell. RLS is absolute torture and requires I take a medication that's fifty plus times more potent than morphine to stop the indescribable torment in my legs and sometimes arms. As soon as I relax any time of day,as soon as I start to transition from wakefulness to sleep it strikes. It's pure hell. Not being able to sleep properly or at all for the last 20 years has ruined my chances of ever getting married and starting a family, buying a home, etc. I've lost many jobs because of my unpredictable sleep. All this shit is on top of years of severe, treatment resistant depression. It's all too much to deal with especially when I have no family of origin that care if I live or die. Sorry for such a long answer. I'm beyond ready to ctb, just waiting for the dogs to go first which won't be too much longer. Losing them will be a huge catalyst for me to finally ctb because they're my life.

wow. Cant you get on disability for something like this?

 

[BlazingBob]

wow. Cant you get on disability for something like this?

Maybe but I'd only qualify for SSI, assuming I got approved which is a big if. I don't want disability. I want death because even if I had a lot of money it still wouldn't solve the health problems which make my life miserable. Living like this is hell on earth. I spend most of my days in bed because I'm so exhausted. My Dr is one of the best for the condition I have and he told me we've hit the end of the line as far as medical science going es and we've done everything we can. I've been fighting this for 20 years. I'm just done. SSI pays around $900 these days. I've suffered enough.

 

[groucho]

Woke up at 2:00 wide awake, won't feel sleepy till 6:00 need to go to work at 7:30... I hate insomnia

 

[DreamEnd]

Woke up at 2:00 wide awake, won't feel sleepy till 6:00 need to go to work at 7:30... I hate insomnia

I started taking seroquel. I wake up every 2 hours but quickly fall asleep

 

[groucho]

Think I need to do more exercise and get physically exhausted instead of just mentally exhausted.

 

[sserafim]

I used to take melatonin to be able to sleep. I stopped taking it after college though. For a while, I was so tired that I passed out and slept like a baby (that was when I finally felt well-rested), but recently, I've been having insomnia again, I can't fall or stay asleep, and I wake up super tired to the point that my eyes hurt. I think it's cuz I browse this forum until like 3 am lol.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

after about 2 days without sleep, my tears get weirdly sludgy and it crystalizes into tiny little ... i dunno spikes that torture my eyelids every time i blink. takes a while to get that off with hot water and need to do that like every 30 mins when it's really bad. sticks to my eyelashes and that blurs my vision. anyone else?

 

[R_N]

after about 2 days without sleep, my tears get weirdly sludgy and it crystalizes into tiny little ... i dunno spikes that torture my eyelids every time i blink. takes a while to get that off with hot water and need to do that like every 30 mins when it's really bad. sticks to my eyelids and that blurs my vision. anyone else?

Welcome to my life. I use eye drops on my even worse days of sleep and I never slept properly since end of 2019.

On such days I noticed that laying down while staring at screen makes it worse. If it gets too bad even if sleep is not an option, try to keep your eyes closed here and there and rest them.

 

[lita-lassi]

started being unable to sleep more than a few hours tops when i was 13, never recovered. im lucky if i get 3-4 hours, quite often am awake all night anyways due to a clearly fucked up circadian rhythm. tried several meds but the only thing that actually helped for a while was weed... until it didnt then i lost even more sleep during withdrawals. nightmares constantly for nearly a decade. i listen to lengthy physics lectures to help calm down and tune out some of my anxiety brain screams

 

[wanttodie]

Yeah, I've been struggling with insomnia for years i wake a few times each hour one of the reasons I want to end my life

 

[ReadyOrNot?]

You will meet a lot of people with sleep related problems here. I have an inability to calm down and fall asleep. Together with a Circadian rhythm sleep disorder. What that means is that my sleep times wander forward around the clock. Atm I go to sleep at 4 pm and wake up 1-3 am. That goes around the clock every few weeks 24 hours.
My sleep quality is okay atm but only because my doctor is understanding and I can get medication that helps.

Growing up I had A LOT of nightmares. I don't know why but thankfully they disappeared almost completly. I was stalked, followed and even killed in them. Always hunted by a man.

 

[DreamEnd]

You will meet a lot of people with sleep related problems here. I have an inability to calm down and fall asleep. Together with a Circadian rhythm sleep disorder. What that means is that my sleep times wander forward around the clock. Atm I go to sleep at 4 pm and wake up 1-3 am. That goes around the clock every few weeks 24 hours.
My sleep quality is okay atm but only because my doctor is understanding and I can get medication that helps.

It fucking sucks to be suicidal over sleep. Like literally what the hell why sleep? Such an important part of your life and it's fucked.

The worst part is if it's really fucked and you need meds. Then you get on them and they work and then they stop working so you need more and more until you are not sleeping at all on humongous doses and then what? Then you have to withdraw from it to get on other meds and you don't sleep at all. Whoever designed us this way is a huge idiot.

 

[RemainingDubious]

Anyone else with insomnia here?

Yeah it sucks, i've been on Promethazine for over a year now, it stopped working awhile ago. i don't even think it's meant to be prescribed long term but my dr's are completely useless.

i don't even bother to contact them about stuff since they're that useless and it just triggers me, since my better half was at the same drs practice.

If they'd of done their job she'd still be here and i'd probably be sleeping like a baby next to her, Waking up each morning wondering how i got so lucky. i'd feel alive and actually be happy.

The less i have to deal with the "professionals" who get paid a decent salary to care, yet actually couldn't care less. The better.

 

[DreamEnd]

Yeah it sucks, i've been on Promethazine for over a year now, it stopped working awhile ago. i don't even think it's meant to be prescribed long term but my dr's are completely useless.

i don't even bother to contact them about stuff since they're that useless and it just triggers me, since my better half was at the same drs practice.

If they'd of done their job she'd still be here and i'd probably be sleeping like a baby next to her, Waking up each morning wondering how i got so lucky. i'd feel alive and actually be happy.

The less i have to deal with the "professionals" who get paid a decent salary to care, yet actually couldn't care less. The better.

Damn I'm sorry. I know a guy who was prescribed diazepam then jumped under a train because he couldn't get through withdrawals

 

[ReadyOrNot?]

Yeah it sucks, i've been on Promethazine for over a year now, it stopped working awhile ago. i don't even think it's meant to be prescribed long term but my dr's are completely useless.

I'm on Promethazine for a long time too. It helps with my restlessness and the sleep quality. Did you have any side effects after such long time? What dosage do you take? Have you tried any meds that helped you better?

 

[R_N]

It fucking sucks to be suicidal over sleep. Like literally what the hell why sleep? Such an important part of your life and it's fucked.

The worst part is if it's really fucked and you need meds. Then you get on them and they work and then they stop working so you need more and more until you are not sleeping at all on humongous doses and then what? Then you have to withdraw from it to get on other meds and you don't sleep at all. Whoever designed us this way is a huge idiot.

Nature doesn't care nor pharma when it destroys our health.

Evolution came to mind. I think I read somewhere once that our jaws are getting smaller because of how and what we eat nowadays. So we get crowded teeth, bad bites and sometimes sleep apnea too as a result, which makes us wake up and have bad sleep. Even heart issues.

Human bodies can be quite trash but I am also amazed how much they can take.

 

[RemainingDubious]

Damn I'm sorry. I know a guy who was prescribed diazepam then jumped under a train because he couldn't get through withdrawals

Diazepam is actually rather effective, they would only give me that whilst i was sectioned though. i think you build up a tolerance to it fairly fast which is why they're not meant to prescribe it long term.

The "health" system is a sick joke. Years ago i couldn't sleep for days. i'd only get a couple of hours every three or four days yet a doctor wouldn't give me anything to help. They told me to exercise.

Absolutely brilliant advice telling someone with no energy, no motivation with depression and anxiety. to go out more (to have more anxiety attacks) and exercise

 

[DreamEnd]

Nature doesn't care nor pharma when it destroys our health.

Evolution came to mind. I think I read somewhere once that our jaws are getting smaller because of how and what we eat nowadays. So we get crowded teeth, bad bites and sometimes sleep apnea too as a result, which makes us wake up and have bad sleep. Even heart issues.

Human bodies can be quite trash but I am also amazed how much they can take.

Yeah when you look at the history of humanity the invention of technology and the 9-5 workday in office cubicles it is simply such a minuscule part of history that no wonder we are not adapted to living like this. Our nature still belongs to the way we lived for thousands of years before.

Diazepam is actually rather effective, they would only give me that whilst i was sectioned though. i think you build up a tolerance to it fairly fast which is why they're not meant to prescribe it long term.

The "health" system is a sick joke. Years ago i couldn't sleep for days. i'd only get a couple of hours every three or four days yet a doctor wouldn't give me anything to help. They told me to exercise.

Absolutely brilliant advice telling someone with no energy, no motivation with depression and anxiety. to go out more (to have more anxiety attacks) and exercise

Yes that's exactly what they tell me.
-you don't sleep cuz you aren't tired don't stay in your room force yourself to exercise
-I can't exercise I'm tired
-force yourself to exercise
Endless loop

 

[RemainingDubious]

I'm on Promethazine for a long time too. It helps with my restlessness and the sleep quality. Did you have any side effects after such long time? What dosage do you take? Have you tried any meds that helped you better?

i personally don't find any benefit whatsoever anymore i'm on 50mg per night.

i did have some seriously messed up side effects, that were quiet alarming. unfortunately not lethal but seriously messed up i though i'd have to go A&E it was that bad. However i couldn't be 100% sure what was the cause. i'd been on 75mg + 150mg of Venlafaxine and Promethazine for around 10 - 11 months at that point without issue. around that time they'd increased my Propranolol to 80mg - 120mg usually i'd take the lower amount unless i actually needed more. i don't see the point in building up a tolerance when i'm just bed rotting and my anxiety isn't so bad since i'm in the most comfortable position i can be in. i personally think it'd be rather foolish since when i'd need to go out and know my anxiety will be high i wouldn't benefit.

There was something they had fairly recently prescribed off label too. So when i started to have messed up side effects, since i couldn't be 100% certain what was problematic i figured it couldn't have been the Venlafaxine since i'd been on that years, it likely wouldn't have been Promethazine but reduced it to 25mg to be safe and stopped taking the Propranolol and whatever the thing they prescribed off label. After afew days things returned to normal.

Yes that's exactly what they tell me.
-you don't sleep cuz you aren't tired don't stay in your room force yourself to exercise
-I can't exercise I'm tired
-force yourself to exercise
Endless loop

It's like they don't even know the symptoms of depression and stuff. It's difficult enough having any motivation at the best of time. With no energy whatsoever it's impossible.