At the age of 15 I was diagnosed with sero-negative juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. I've had it ever since, until I moved and now the rheumatologist doesn't think that's what it is, but does think it's an inflammatory condition of my muscles and perhaps some other things going on as well. My whole body experiences pain in one form or another each day. My hands are typically bad, always feel inflamed, resistance in moving and pain all over, even in the joints. I have recently started to have muscle contractions/spasms in my upper back/neck/shoulders, at times it can be quite violent and the pain does at times literally take my breath away. I find walking difficult, especially if it's more than just a little. I also have difficulty driving because of my hands and feet, I don't leave my little city because I just can't drive that far. My foot gets so badly cramped and my hands get extremely sore. I used to get horrible churning sensation in my feet, they would literally feel like they were being burned, and I have some experience in that area. Thankfully I seem to have that under control.
My rheumatologist is sending me to a neurologist to have my muscles tested, and whatever else is on the req. I'm quite fearful of the potential diagnoses or the lack of diagnosis. Lupus wouldn't surprise me, I don't think I've ever been tested for Lyme disease. Part of me really wants a diagnosis so I know what I'm up against, but I'm fearful it's going to be something that has a horrible ending. I don't want a horrible ending to my life. Even suicide is just the lesser evil of the options.
I have been dealing with chronic pain since I was around 10yo when I had to quit piano lessons because my hands hurt too much. I'm 35 now.