Red_sleep

Red_sleep

Member
Jul 29, 2023
33
This is the worst fucking thing I ever experienced. This is worse than death. My mind is completely sunken. I don't feel anything from fucking anything. I used to be able to cry about my shitty life, I can't even do that. This is inhumane torture.

Did anyone here ever experience this and eventually recovered? There is literally no way any person can live with this. I don't wanna die, I just want this to go away. But if it won't I have to die. This is fucking TORTURE. The constant uncomfortableness/restlessness is driving me insane.
 
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eashanm

God
Feb 22, 2023
512
I have anhedonia. I'm ctbing soon
 
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ApparentlyNot

ApparentlyNot

Thanks for all the cats.
Jul 8, 2023
145
I'm sure people have, but we are not exactly the pool of people that is likely to report such a thing, otherwise we probably wouldn't be here. I too am living with anhedonia, and it's terrible.
 
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Red_sleep

Red_sleep

Member
Jul 29, 2023
33
I'm sure people have, but we are not exactly the pool of people that is likely to report such a thing, otherwise we probably wouldn't be here. I too am living with anhedonia, and it's terrible.
How did you get it if i May ask?
 
L

lethargic

Member
Jul 14, 2023
90
I don't have it diagnosed but I imagine I might have it. I got broken up from a relationship I valued more than anything else in my life and I couldn't even cry to relieve some stress hormones despite wanting to. I'm just perpetually stuck to feeling numb and anxious and hollow. My hobbies no longer bring me joy, I feel like I'm just observing at this point and nothing else. It is fucking awful.
 
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dialogos

dialogos

Experienced
Jul 5, 2023
269
Looking up the terms "anhedonia recovery", medication is needed because this is a symptom of a neurological condition. It can be managed like hypertension or diabetes. depends how good is the medical care you can get. If you can get it, please do so.
 
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ApparentlyNot

ApparentlyNot

Thanks for all the cats.
Jul 8, 2023
145
How did you get it if i May ask?
There wasn't any event that caused it for me, it's just the defining trait of my depression, not being able to feel any emotion beyond a fleeting surface level (if that).

I don't have it diagnosed
Anhedonia isn't something that is diagnosed, it is a symptom of depression (among other things).
 
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venin

venin

Text
Jul 28, 2023
757
This is the worst fucking thing I ever experienced. This is worse than death. My mind is completely sunken. I don't feel anything from fucking anything. I used to be able to cry about my shitty life, I can't even do that. This is inhumane torture.

Did anyone here ever experience this and eventually recovered? There is literally no way any person can live with this. I don't wanna die, I just want this to go away. But if it won't I have to die. This is fucking TORTURE. The constant uncomfortableness/restlessness is driving me insane.
Feeling it again since taking some new meds, but I felt it in the past and "healed" from it. I think that healing is more than possible
 
Red_sleep

Red_sleep

Member
Jul 29, 2023
33
There wasn't any event that caused it for me, it's just the defining trait of my depression, not being able to feel any emotion beyond a fleeting surface level (if that).


Anhedonia isn't something that is diagnosed, it is a symptom of depression (among other things).
I feel like there is a difference between "Depression anhedonia" and drug-induced anhedonia. Like do you feel nothing at all? If you tried to get better can you feel anything?
I have been depressed for 6 years, but I always had music, video games, or tv-shows that could bring me joy. Right now I feel nothing from any stimulant. Not even alcohol. I'm more afraid I have some permanent altered brain damage. It all happened like a light-switch over night for me
 
Red_sleep

Red_sleep

Member
Jul 29, 2023
33
Feeling it again since taking some new meds, but I felt it in the past and "healed" from it. I think that healing is more than possible
How long did it take for you to recover from this the first time?
 
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
No. Uncomfortable restlessness sounds like something else. Anhedonia is being blank like a living death.
 
S

Sad Avocado

Those things I've never said
May 27, 2023
206
This is the worst fucking thing I ever experienced. This is worse than death. My mind is completely sunken. I don't feel anything from fucking anything. I used to be able to cry about my shitty life, I can't even do that. This is inhumane torture.

Did anyone here ever experience this and eventually recovered? There is literally no way any person can live with this. I don't wanna die, I just want this to go away. But if it won't I have to die. This is fucking TORTURE. The constant uncomfortableness/restlessness is driving me insane.
Im sorry for this question. But what is anhedonia?
 
ApparentlyNot

ApparentlyNot

Thanks for all the cats.
Jul 8, 2023
145
I feel like there is a difference between "Depression anhedonia" and drug-induced anhedonia. Like do you feel nothing at all? If you tried to get better can you feel anything?
I have been depressed for 6 years, but I always had music, video games, or tv-shows that could bring me joy. Right now I feel nothing from any stimulant. Not even alcohol. I'm more afraid I have some permanent altered brain damage. It all happened like a light-switch over night for me
Well there is not a medical difference. Anhedonia induced by drug use is thought to be caused by the same mechanism which causes it in individuals with major depressive disorder (a major lack of dopamine regulation and production) - what causes that mechanism differs, but the symptom is the same. The idea of a complete "medical" inability to feel emotion is pretty much debunked, it doesn't happen (except temporarily) - the brain doesn't just lose its ability to feel joy, it just sucks at it for a long time.

Having said that, I was physically addicted to drugs from the ages of about 16 to 24, and I have definitely noticed my anhedonia most prominently after getting clean from opioids. I still get high all the time, and just like with you, I do not feel even a shred of euphoria tied to the use of benzos, molly, alcohol, marijuana, psychedelics, or more long acting stimulants. I do very occasionally feel things on dissociatives, but barely. I'm sure I'd still feel something if I took a massive hit of crack or did a shot of heroin - my body isn't physically incapable of flooding my body with opioids for example, and no ones is. No cases of it that I've ever heard of anyway.

I relate to you. For years, I thought I was very depressed (and was to be fair), but I was able to enjoy shows, movies, play video games, do drugs, listen to music, play with my cats, read a book - and now, I cannot find even the interest or mental libido to even attempt those things. They have no hold on me that is greater than the drive to stare at a wall. I used to be able to at least feel sad and sometimes cry.
Im sorry for this question. But what is anhedonia?
reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure. sometimes people are referring specifically to the complete inability to experience pleasure physiologically - meaning the brain cannot engage with or restore hedonic functioning through the release of endorphins etc. it is commonly associated with prolonged drug use and major depressive disorder
 
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H

hellohello123

Member
Aug 7, 2023
14
I have anhedonia and it's killing me. I can't get comfortable or relaxed. No matter what position I'm in I can't feel comfortable. It's torture.
 
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Red_sleep

Red_sleep

Member
Jul 29, 2023
33
I have anhedonia and it's killing me. I can't get comfortable or relaxed. No matter what position I'm in I can't feel comfortable. It's torture.
How Long you had it? What caused it? I'm Sorry, i know it's hell…
 
WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,422
You don't generally recover from it, unless you are able to get through your depression. It is a side effect of severe depression.
 
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SenseOfLoss

SenseOfLoss

life could have been so beautiful
Feb 24, 2023
208
I was in this state for several months. I had no more joy in anything, could relax zero, feel nothing, not sleep properly, had no more strength for anything, could not watch movies or listen to music.... I was petrified. I just wanted to die. It's still hard for me, but it has improved a bit.
 
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Takamagahara

Takamagahara

Seeker Of Heaven
Aug 8, 2023
142
I always wondered if I had it, or if my life just fucking sucked. lol. apparently its a major component of depression.
 
H

hellohello123

Member
Aug 7, 2023
14
How Long you had it? What caused it? I'm Sorry, i know it's hell…
I've had it for 8 months now. I had a psychosis and ended up at a psych ward. I got injected with prolixin (antipsychotic medication) there and got severe brain damage. Can't feel relaxed or comfortable anymore. It's torture. No emotions, no feelings. Everyday is the same.
 
phersper

phersper

F*ck psychiatry
Jun 28, 2023
165
I feel like there is a difference between "Depression anhedonia" and drug-induced anhedonia. Like do you feel nothing at all? If you tried to get better can you feel anything?
I have been depressed for 6 years, but I always had music, video games, or tv-shows that could bring me joy. Right now I feel nothing from any stimulant. Not even alcohol. I'm more afraid I have some permanent altered brain damage. It all happened like a light-switch over night for me
For it happened while I was taking an ssri and I added lamictal, even if it was a very tiny amount, three days later I had no emotions, no more anxiety, no more depression, no more drive, motivation, desires, ambitions. Nothing brings me the least amount of pleasure. Music, sport, sleep, watching my favourite tv series (better call soul became just an intermittent flow of empty images), coffee, alcohol (I don't feel the effects), heroin (I only get tired) which I used only once to see if I was capable of feeling some relief, talking with friends and family, drink a cocktail and watching the sunset, camping in the most beautiful places you could even imagine. I tried everything. My reward system is fucked. The only small, compared to how it was before, pleasure I get is from orgasms (I d say a good 80% compared to the pre anhedonic me).
Doctors think I have some psychotic symptoms, which is complete bs, and they want me on antipsychotics. So in the last 9 months I was on and off antipsychotics and mood stabilizers, but nothing has changed except for a slight bettering in my sexual symptoms.
Before ctbing, the only thing I want to try is pramipexole, that's it. If even that it's not gonna work, I m off. Bye bye. Thanks Big Pharma.
 
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eternal.peace

Member
Sep 15, 2023
52
I've been struggling with severe depression and anhedonia since March, it's been awful and has definitely played into my desire to ctb. I've been depressed before, but never like this. I can't feel anything, no motivation, no desire. I'm just rotting. I wish I had answers for what helps op, unfortunately I'm looking for those answers too. I can empathize with how shitty anhedonia is though. I just wish I could feel like myself again.
 

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