I feel like there is a difference between "Depression anhedonia" and drug-induced anhedonia. Like do you feel nothing at all? If you tried to get better can you feel anything?
I have been depressed for 6 years, but I always had music, video games, or tv-shows that could bring me joy. Right now I feel nothing from any stimulant. Not even alcohol. I'm more afraid I have some permanent altered brain damage. It all happened like a light-switch over night for me
Well there is not a medical difference. Anhedonia induced by drug use is thought to be caused by the same mechanism which causes it in individuals with major depressive disorder (a major lack of dopamine regulation and production) - what causes that mechanism differs, but the symptom is the same. The idea of a complete "medical" inability to feel emotion is pretty much debunked, it doesn't happen (except temporarily) - the brain doesn't just lose its ability to feel joy, it just sucks at it for a long time.
Having said that, I was physically addicted to drugs from the ages of about 16 to 24, and I have definitely noticed my anhedonia most prominently after getting clean from opioids. I still get high all the time, and just like with you, I do not feel even a shred of euphoria tied to the use of benzos, molly, alcohol, marijuana, psychedelics, or more long acting stimulants. I do very occasionally feel things on dissociatives, but barely. I'm sure I'd still feel something if I took a massive hit of crack or did a shot of heroin - my body isn't physically incapable of flooding my body with opioids for example, and no ones is. No cases of it that I've ever heard of anyway.
I relate to you. For years, I thought I was very depressed (and was to be fair), but I was able to enjoy shows, movies, play video games, do drugs, listen to music, play with my cats, read a book - and now, I cannot find even the interest or mental libido to even
attempt those things. They have no hold on me that is greater than the drive to stare at a wall. I used to be able to at least feel sad and sometimes cry.
Im sorry for this question. But what is anhedonia?
reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure. sometimes people are referring specifically to the complete inability to experience pleasure physiologically - meaning the brain cannot engage with or restore hedonic functioning through the release of endorphins etc. it is commonly associated with prolonged drug use and major depressive disorder