Discussion Anyone here actually want to die rather than have their problems go away?

[MeowTheFlemishCat]

I've been put through literal torture but still want to live. I love life when things are good even if it's only one week out of the year

 

[its.all.gone]

I am tried to solve my problems for years now. when I should have known to quit early and not tried to solve them but just get away.

now I am so tired and know there is no solution.

even if it may happen in some distant future, I am so tired that I just want it all to end. even if the problems will go away in future, I am just too tired to go on anymore.

 

[ClownWorld2023]

Anyone here actually want to die rather than have their problems go away?

Why not both? Two birds, one stone.

 

[CPY]

Contrary to a lot of people here(I believe) I would like my problems to go away but since my problem cannot be cured with our current knowledge and they are probably going to lead me to live a miserable life even worse than what I'm already suffering I feel like I'm caught between the tragedy of ending my own life and the equally tragic life that I'm suffering now as well as the even greater suffering that awaits me once my parents won't be around anymore

 

[Adamsnolife]

My problems aren't going to go away anytime soon so ctb is the best option for me

 

[brokeandbroken]

I'd prefer my problems go away but I won't get the help needed as I can't do it by myself... Therefore I will have to CTB...

 

[BrknEyes]

My problem is myself.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't really have much interest left in life now. It's not that I don't still enjoy stuff but I guess- just not enough.

Besides- 'solving my problems' is complicated and would simply lead to more problems! A major problem for me is money. If I was just given money- I would feel guilty and then become complacent. It wouldn't take long for me to become bored.

For my 'problems' to be solved, I would need to earn the money from my creative job. The nature of this creative job is all or nothing though. While I still enjoy the work, I'm so tired. I'm so tired of being exploited too! And- progressing in my particular industry only means being exploited more! 16 hour days are common. Can't say I fancy that! Plus- that would mean working with others and I get very socially anxious and self doubtful doing that.

If I could just pace myself at home working away with podcasts and films and music on in the background and earn enough to be comfortable- I'd be ok with that but- that's unrealistic. So nah- life as it really is. Not some fairytale fantasy- isn't for me.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

If my major problem was able to be solved in a way that is acceptable for me I'd really prefer to live.

 

[achb]

I guess technically what I want is for my problems to be solved. But my problems also happen to be inevitable in life. Nobody can solve the fact that they feel any stress ever. Or that sometimes they will feel lonely. Or that not every second is an enjoyable haze where I'm not thinking just feeling good. Life just isn't that. That isn't living.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I certainly wish to cease existing, as after all death is the only way to escape from all suffering and harms that are ultimately caused by existence itself. To me existence is a curse and I see death as a relief, it's comforting to think of existence no longer being my problem, only the thought of being dead appeals to me as then I won't have to deal with existence, i'll be at peace and all will be forgotten about.

In general existing just doesn't interest me, it's not for me, existence is so burdensome and it fills me with dread the thought of potentially decades trapped in this harmful existence.

I don't believe that existence was worth having in the first place and to me it only feels rational wishing for death, as after all one cannot suffer from the absence of everything.

 

[Heading to Darkness]

Hi
I am on here and yes i want to die, more than want i feel i need to, i have a long story and always knew it would end that way .My CTB date is November 30 because i will be in the right place at the right time.
I am making a day to day vlog which explains a lot to those few people it will matter too in the hope they understand that it's not selfish but i need my way out as i do have no future People will as how can i leave children behind? and the answer is they are grown up and nearly grown up and very happy with their mum and her new partner. ai know they are financially secure and I can leave in peace. I just find comfort following this site, which has not influenced me tin anyway but has made me feel not quite so outcast.
Hi
I am on here and yes i want to die, more than want i feel i need to, i have a long story and always knew it would end that way .My CTB date is November 30 because i will be in the right place at the right time.
I am making a day to day vlog which explains a lot to those few people it will matter too in the hope they understand that it's not selfish but i need my way out as i do have no future People will as how can i leave children behind? and the answer is they are grown up and nearly grown up and very happy with their mum and her new partner. ai know they are financially secure and I can leave in peace. I just find comfort following this site, which has not influenced me tin anyway but has made me feel not quite so outcast.

 

[gbi2]

I don't think my problems will go away and I'm even fed up of trying now. My attempt last year was out of panic, frustration and isolation but next time it will be out of the knowledge that there is no workable solution for me and out of knowing even trying is futile.

 

[L0nely]

For me thing is that I don't even have actual problems. I live with my parents, don't have to pay for anything, have option for education, all the possibilities I could ask for, privileged. And even though, I struggle with making friends / keeping them. I have no1 to talk to on a daily basis. I don't feel wanted or important to anyone, would consider myself a burden. I lost all my ambitions and hopes for better future.
I'm the one creating all the problems, so the only way of all of them to go away is if I go.

 

[sserafim]

I've been put through literal torture but still want to live. I love life when things are good even if it's only one week out of the year

Death will allow my problems to go away.

 

[anonymousfoxxo]

Even if my problems suddenly magically went away, somehow, I would still very much be scarred for life. I can't enjoy shit anymore. I hate it here. Sure I have some ups. Would lie if I said so otherwise. But I cannot really care about those moments when every other moment is a literal hell. I hate myself. I hate my memories. I hate everything. I would much rather die than live without problems at this point. If memories could be erased then maybe I could give life another chance. I'd have no idea why I hated it, therefore I would not hate it. And it could be good. But that is no more than fantasy and we all know it. No more to say here.
Glad to hear OP that you are having good things going on too. Maybe you have a chance for recovery. Good luck.

Take Care,

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I definitely want to die since I can't go back in time or block out/erase any of my traumatic memories. I also don't get anything out of life, just don't enjoy it and never have. If I could at least not have all the regrets and wasted time I'd probably stick around despite not really enjoying anything but since I can't go back in time I'm stuck either living in misery for the rest of my natural life or CTB. I'm choosing the latter at some point assuming I can go through with it. I suppose if I suddenly started enjoying life I might think differently? I don't see that happening though, never has yet!

I'm glad you enjoy life when you can though, wish you more days like that

 

[Mistiie]

I would like to still experience life if my problem were solved but only just a bit.

My problem has turned me into a very bitter and a very tired person. Even if it was cured today, my life has been enough trouble so far that I just haven't enjoyed it and that lack of enjoyment for the past 17 years will haunt me.

And then there's the fact that my problem won't be solved. It isn't solvable. No medicine will work its way through my brain to tamper with it and make me happy. No therapy will remove the thoughts and the feelings that I express. No experiences will renew my views on life.

It's looking like that problem has actually driven me into a permanent depression, and I'm probably going to succumb to it.

 

[hi-okbye]

i want to ctb because my past has gotten too much to handle. i can't really deal with it, and it's ruining my future as well. i just want to feel at peace. i agree with the loving life when it's good though. i miss that feeling :/
wishing you the best <3

 

[BlazingBob]

If my incurable health problems could be cured, I could have good health and energy, have a loving family and sense of community, manageable debt, maybe.

 

[F@#$]

Yes,I do.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

I am tried to solve my problems for years now. when I should have known to quit early and not tried to solve them but just get away.

now I am so tired and know there is no solution.

even if it may happen in some distant future, I am so tired that I just want it all to end. even if the problems will go away in future, I am just too tired to go on anymore.

Yes.

 

[Neogoloid]

My problems are things that literally can't be fixed, so death is the only option.