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Luckily no
And I can't imagine that pressure...they'll be sad but they'll be okay
And I can't imagine that pressure...they'll be sad but they'll be okay
noonetoo
Specialist
- Mar 7, 2019
- 386
I can relate. It's even more damaging seeing all the hate towards women. We're not murderers, we did what was best for ourselves at the moment. I was in so much pain, had started a job in construction, was still in the probation period so I had no health insurance. My bf didn't have a ged or a job. It took him a whole year to land work. We were broke with no parental guidance, family didn't want to help us, the government only helps after the child is born so we were out of options. Sometimes I cry because I could've had a 6 year old child now but everything was wrong in my life at the time and my body is really "allergic" to pregnancy so I doubt I'd have survived. And now that I feel more prepared for a child, my uterus is like broken, plus my throat is damaged enough from my eating disorder. It hurts even more being surrounded by family that loves to rub it in my face that I don't have kids so I stay away.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Lush_nova
Self Destruct Activated
- May 16, 2019
- 105
I have 4,p with my husband, all under the age of 10. Do I feel bad attempting to take my own life, no. I'm too selfish, I'm not allowed to left alone with the children, he does everything, I have no control over anything, I might as well not be here. No it's not because he's controlling, it'sbecause it's been said by officials that he does an amazing job and does more then anyone, when I'm with them apparently I'm too quick tempered . I don't have the energy to fight back, see no point, so when I finally manage to do my will, they won't be fussed as I'm just a spare part
Yes I felt I had no support when I got pregnant. I already had a strained relationship with my mom. I grew up with a single mother and suffered the consequences of growing up in that environment. I didn't automatically want kids, but I didn't not want kids. I was one of those on the fence because I didn't feel I was competent enough. I worried I might not love my kids because I didn't feel loved by my parents. Yea it's really awkward not having kids, I didn't expect it to be. I often feel like something is missing. I never have anything to talk about with people who have kids. I have a friend who is a grandma and I feel so left out because I just don't have stories about my kids or grandkids lol! I feel like a freak kind of.
marcusuk63
CTB
- Mar 24, 2019
- 1,735
yes a 32 year old son who (apart from seeing him at my brothers funeral two months ago ) i haven't seen for well over 10 years , a daughter who i have never seem and 5 granddaughters i have never seen
ExitTheDay
We fight to live or live to die
- May 26, 2019
- 336
No, and I will probably never have kids... I'd never want them to suffer the same consequences that I do, I cannot bring them into this sick world because if anybody ever hurt my children I would be the one paying the price... locked away in a cage for the rest of my life
I have two grown children ; one doesn't talk to me as I wouldn't Co-sign for a large loan for her. I signed for two other loans for her and now she stuck me with them. Damaged my credit.....I haven't been well for about 5 years and only my son has been here to help me. I had plans to ctb last winter, but then my son and his family had to move in with me. It helped me a bit to have meaning in my life. Now they have had to move to care for her father, but say they will be back. The only reason I have not probably ctb is what it would do to my son. Now though, I am having health issues again and found i have degenerative disc disease causing a lot of pain. I also have something else these doctors can't figure out. I again feel I want to leave, but know it will be too much for my son. I love him so and he has a lot of worries on himself right right now.....god help us all
Retched
I see the chaos in your eyes.
- Oct 8, 2018
- 837
Having a kid and being suicidal is heartbreaking. Mine had a lot of great milestones this last year, regardless of the fact he was not shielded from my attempt that failed last year. I still don't know what he thinks about it and I feel guilty as one person could possibly feel. A friend he had killed herself a few months ago, and he did randomly tell me "thanks for being here for me."
While I'm not actively suicidal right now, I wake up every day wishing I hadn't. I have a great deal of money saved for him and will spend it on his education now. Each day is a struggle though. Every damn day. And while I'll
have nothing left for my future, he will at least have a solid few years in which he won't have to worry about money.
A while back I asked the forum's younger crowd how they would feel if a parent ctb. The responses helped during that hard time I was actively pursuing. Made me step back a bit and face the facts. I just hope I haven't taught him that suicide is a logical thing to try. He already inherited my depression. Sigh.
While I'm not actively suicidal right now, I wake up every day wishing I hadn't. I have a great deal of money saved for him and will spend it on his education now. Each day is a struggle though. Every damn day. And while I'll
have nothing left for my future, he will at least have a solid few years in which he won't have to worry about money.
A while back I asked the forum's younger crowd how they would feel if a parent ctb. The responses helped during that hard time I was actively pursuing. Made me step back a bit and face the facts. I just hope I haven't taught him that suicide is a logical thing to try. He already inherited my depression. Sigh.
GeorgeJL
Enlightened
- Mar 7, 2019
- 1,621
I am relatively healthy so I think I will have kids. I want to impart all my wisdom into them so that they will change the world.
Chalken
Decaying
- Nov 20, 2018
- 214
No, I'm an antinatalist. I'll never have children due to the possibility of them inheriting my mental illness and generally I don't want to subject anyone to a lifetime of suffering, just to die in the end and be forgotten.
RainAndSadness
Administrator
- Jun 12, 2018
- 2,104
I wish I had children. I created a thread about this subject a while ago but basically - I can't have children because I'm trans but I wish I could actually have my own children and get them the traditional female way. But it's not possible right now and I'm probably never gonna experience it. And my mental health is way too unstable to have children anyway, so... who knows, maybe that's for the better for everyone.
I'm also an anti-natalist and I think you should only put children into this cruel world if you know you can take care of them and provide them financial stability and a good childhood. Also, don't divorce. My parents did and it was traumatizing.
I'm also an anti-natalist and I think you should only put children into this cruel world if you know you can take care of them and provide them financial stability and a good childhood. Also, don't divorce. My parents did and it was traumatizing.
I wish I had one but I'm going to have a lot of trouble even trying to "make one". I think it'd give me a will to live. I could stop focusing on my own life and past and start focusing on molding someone else's to be way, way better and safer and more loved than mine was.
They're always going to need you. You take a piece of their heart when you leave. But I understand if you feel stuck because of it.
I have a niece that loves me but I don't get to see her because she has a horrible mom. You may not think it's the same but it's only human to feel sympathetic, even empathetic.
This. I'd have a purpose and a reason to live a good life if I could have a child. But men can't get other men pregnant so it's off the table for me
AtomicNewt
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her
- Jun 5, 2019
- 145
I'm in the same position and it's making me feel worse as I am no longer the parent I was or want to be. I'm largely absent or in bed and have stopped doing all school and social activities with them for nearly two years. Their dad has taken all this on board overtime, so that now they won't miss me in the way they would have several years ago. That helps in some ways but also makes me feel dreadful, they will just remember me as a shit mum. But then I am a shit person so guess that's fair. However right now they are the only thing keeping me here too I think...
The pain of what I'm doing to my son makes me want to die. I'm so unwell in hospital, torn away from him. I'm getting worse despite everyone saying yaay you're ok now. I'm far from it. I feel so sick I can hardly move. My little one is full of anxiety, scared everyone will dieincluding him. He is scared to eat. Being unable to just scoop him up and be there for him is killing me inside. I feel sick and want it to end. I prey to God to die in my sleep. I don't want to leave him, I don't want this to be happening. I wish for a semblance of good health to be there for him. This is so cruel I could just die from the emotional pain
been_there
Life cares only for itself.
- Jun 5, 2019
- 297
My children were stolen from me by their mum, as she knew how much it would hurt. This happens a lot, fathers aren't wanted or supported these days.
not_a_robot
"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
- May 30, 2019
- 2,121
Hell to the NO!
I find having kids an unforgivably irresponsible and irrational choice. Like if I meet people, I want to get the fuck away the minute they say they have kids. It's like announcing
"I'm an irresponsible egomaniac who makes poor choices that affect other peoples' tiny lives! I think overpopulation is great!"
I hate going outside because it's just SO MANY GODDAMN people, can't humans stop breeding for one fucking second??? Why does everybody need so many little annoying copies of themselves? Most people who have kids don't even really like them, same as with married people.
Ugh, I see parents and all I see are walking hormones, with no brains.
Roe & Wade went to court so people could finally be rational. We should have fucking national Holidays for safe sex, abstinence, and abortion.
Any lazy careless POS can become a parent; staying childless takes effort.
I find having kids an unforgivably irresponsible and irrational choice. Like if I meet people, I want to get the fuck away the minute they say they have kids. It's like announcing
"I'm an irresponsible egomaniac who makes poor choices that affect other peoples' tiny lives! I think overpopulation is great!"
I hate going outside because it's just SO MANY GODDAMN people, can't humans stop breeding for one fucking second??? Why does everybody need so many little annoying copies of themselves? Most people who have kids don't even really like them, same as with married people.
Ugh, I see parents and all I see are walking hormones, with no brains.
Roe & Wade went to court so people could finally be rational. We should have fucking national Holidays for safe sex, abstinence, and abortion.
Any lazy careless POS can become a parent; staying childless takes effort.
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been_there
Life cares only for itself.
- Jun 5, 2019
- 297
Not true at all. Sure, life is a selfish entity and many people reproduce because that's all they're wired to do, but I consciously had kids because I had something to give. The only problem was that I wasn't picky enough about who to have them with.
not_a_robot
"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
- May 30, 2019
- 2,121
Sigh. that's what all breeders say, and none of them grasp the supreme arrogance of that mentality. Yes, we get it, you thought you are so wonderful that the world just needed more of your wonderfulness.
I'm glad being so wonderful has worked out so well for you.
been_there
Life cares only for itself.
- Jun 5, 2019
- 297
If I thought the world needed more of my wonderfulness I sure wouldn't be here!
Yes, I have three, all in their early twenties. The eldest is on the autism spectrum. He has a good job, is sweet natured and generally well adjusted. I fear my leaving would be very hard for him and would upend his equilibrium. Been hanging on - existing, really - for years primarily because of him, but I don't think I can sustain this much longer.
AtomicNewt
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her
- Jun 5, 2019
- 145
Hahaha, there's a lot to work with there, and most of it I totally agree with. If I were looking to have kids now for the first time would be a big No! The planet and society is fucked! I'm too broken to offer what they (me bubbas) deserve, even though I love them. But yet most people don't seem to engage brains or give a crap about what's going on do they? And I'm the crazy one!
But reckon a fucking holiday for safe sex sounds cracking
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I have a 23 y.o. and a 13 y.o. from two different wives. The mother of the 23 y.o. has a borderline personality disorder and she has some serious psychological symptoms. The mother has poisoned her against me. I've tried to tell her that I won't be around forever and that she should try to get to know me and have a relationship with me, but she's got a lot of attachment issues problems. Doesn't have a great relationship with her mother either.
been_there
Life cares only for itself.
- Jun 5, 2019
- 297
So many mothers do this to their children. Its fucked up. They're terrified that their kid may love someone that they hate.
No need for that at all. I get your point ref it being selfish. It's a programmed instinct so I don't know how selfishness comes into it. Most of us go into this with good intentions
Do you still get to see them?
My son hasn't been stolen but I'm losing him due to my illnesses and inability to do anything of use for him or with him anymore. I think depriving your kids of you is unforgivable and gives women a bad name.
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been_there
Life cares only for itself.
- Jun 5, 2019
- 297
I see them sometimes when their mum lets them come. That can be as long as seven months though. The kids hate it, will end up hating her and, yes, her behaviour does give women a bad name, although I don't see any of her friends telling her that. Nor social services or court. You're systematically removed from their lives, then society bleats on about all the fatherless children when they go to shit later.
I saw your other post and your situation sounds really tough, I hope you can find a way to tolerate your illnesses. Does your son's dad help care for him?
I saw your other post and your situation sounds really tough, I hope you can find a way to tolerate your illnesses. Does your son's dad help care for him?
She is only hurting them in the long run. Unforgivable. I feel your pain.
My son's father and his partner have always been very involved in my son's life and he has and does see them regularly before all this happened - since very young. For that I'm grateful. We get on well enough between us also which is the best I can ask for. I don't understand the approach your ex has taken unless there's violence ( not saying you btw) or bitterness!!
been_there
Life cares only for itself.
- Jun 5, 2019
- 297
Thanks. No violence. Bitterness for sure.
Good to hear your son has a father in his life. I hope that is one thing less for you to worry about. Hope today gets better for you.
Good to hear your son has a father in his life. I hope that is one thing less for you to worry about. Hope today gets better for you.
not_a_robot
"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
- May 30, 2019
- 2,121
I don't have kids because I'm not careless selfish or arrogant enough to try to fill the world with copies of myself.
I think the women who give women a bad name are the ones who shackle themselves to men and kids in a thankless effort to perpetuate a society I view as destructive. Not everyone has to be slaves to their base animal instinct to breed.
You sound really angry and bitter. I guess you have good reason to feel that way, hence being here. I know I feel that way.
If we all knew how things might turn out many of us would agree with you. Most go into it with good feeling and good intention. Some people have a really happy enjoyable life. It has just turned to shit for all of us lot.
