Yeah, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I've been dependent on my boyfriend for several years, and I hate myself for ending up in this situation. Soon enough, my living situation, finances, and even immigration status will be completely in his hands, and I really despise the position I'm in.
I'm quite emotionally vunerable and susceptible to loneliness as well. This puts me further up shit creek without a paddle, because soon I'm going to have to be living alone with him in an area where there are 0 other people I know around.
My boyfriend has threatened to leave me many times, and has stated that he knows I'd be screwed without him. Like most people, he has a family to run off to when times get hard. Me? I've got nothing. When I tried to emphasise how awful I feel about this catch 22 situation, I get accused of immaturity, unreasonableness, and told that if I simply fix/change myself then there wouldn't be a problem.
I hate having no family or close friends, because it means that you constantly have to provide some sort of value to a romantic partner in order to "earn" love and help. I really have no interest in sex, or transactional arrangements, but that's all adult relationships seem to boil down to.
It is godawful being dependent on a romantic partner for most of your needs, and knowing that if you can't consrantly fulfill their desires, they will eventually abandon you. The prospect of spending years with someone only for them to inevitably never speak to you or care about you ever again once they've decided you're a poor investment is a major thing I hate about this life.