Anyone Going After Xmas

[Avicii]

Matters have come to a head for me now I'm not the person I was Tinnitus robs you of that , don't look after myself to the point I smell (pre tinnitus appearence was everything) can't remember last time bought clothes, droppprd off the gym , used to love running, socialising hard, and not forgetting when I look in the mirror I look like shit emotionally i am drained - it all mimics depression except it's not it's sinply the noise the constant noise

So yes literally emptied out my house leaving the bare minimum tv, couch, washing machine etc, everywhere looks sterile, after I did this was reading and googled upon this is what suicidal people do, go figures eh - planned for post Xmas day

 

[edward77]

i am going on xmas day if everything goes as planned

 

[Azzy69]

Will anyone get suspicious?

 

[Qdv]

Will be returning from visiting with grandparents about three days after and plan on going then. Original date was mid November but Ive felt guilt about leaving the family during this time as there was already a death a few years back before thanksgiving. Cant handle another year of living like this

 

[Shero]

I would, but have a hard time finding SN and Meto in Italy.

 

[Cutepoison]

Same here

 

[Jean4]

Matters have come to a head for me now I'm not the person I was Tinnitus robs you of that , don't look after myself to the point I smell (pre tinnitus appearence was everything) can't remember last time bought clothes, droppprd off the gym , used to love running, socialising hard, and not forgetting when I look in the mirror I look like shit emotionally i am drained - it all mimics depression except it's not it's sinply the noise the constant noise

So yes literally emptied out my house leaving the bare minimum tv, couch, washing machine etc, everywhere looks sterile, after I did this was reading and googled upon this is what suicidal people do, go figures eh - planned for post Xmas day

@Avicii were you a fan?

 

[Susan Caswell]

Matters have come to a head for me now I'm not the person I was Tinnitus robs you of that , don't look after myself to the point I smell (pre tinnitus appearence was everything) can't remember last time bought clothes, droppprd off the gym , used to love running, socialising hard, and not forgetting when I look in the mirror I look like shit emotionally i am drained - it all mimics depression except it's not it's sinply the noise the constant noise

So yes literally emptied out my house leaving the bare minimum tv, couch, washing machine etc, everywhere looks sterile, after I did this was reading and googled upon this is what suicidal people do, go figures eh - planned for post Xmas day

Oh im so sorry your words could be mine I wish I could help you im suffering deafening jet plane roaring hammering Tinnitus both ears hyperacusis so bad every noise is deafening and painful ears are pounding and vibrating the anxiety of it is horrific ive lost 2 stone most of my hair body bouncing shaking like you I had to be spotless well groomed hair teeth nice clothes on I was really well more than well dance class walking cycling lunches dinners theatre holidays wonderful life. Ive recovered from cancer chemotherapy a back op a breast op always healed recovered got well. ive wanted to die since the day this started ill never forget it 25 July 2017 ive tried and tried to get this sorted live with it but its destroyed me I look and feel horrific who cant get bathed hair washed ive done neither for 11 months and I was showerd every day bathed every night very particular with myself and our home I was capable independent calm happy soul lived looking after others I don't even know whats wrong I went to bed fine that night and just a few hours later woke up to this mild moderate liveable is one thing but extreme like you must also have is another beast altogether I so wish it would stop for you too I never knew it was so hard to go either I cant live with this rest of my life. Tell me about you are you male female how ling have you had it do you know why where are you in the world wish I could help you magic wand stop this for us both I don't think I can take much more I cant even function. Do you know how you will go how can this condition make us suicidal but it has your the only person in the state I am and wants to die I can stand a lot but I cant stand this no quiet no peace no life most people manage live with it I so want it to stop let me get my life back even then im so ill with the anxiety I don't know if I could get well the sheer panic of stuck like this is terrible ive never suffered anxiety in my life ive had high pitch hissing for years and don't hear it but these other 3 low deep noises are killing me I had so much life to live hopes dreams plans dear god can we overcome this there must be an answer ive spent thousands trying to get well get this down cope and ive no clue what set this off I just know I would have taken coped with anything but this xx

 

[Farmmaa]

I have to wait until January - my grandson's first birthday is the end of Dec, so I don't want that to be a sad day for anyone.

Unless a miracle happens before then, I have no money for rent or power bill next month

 

[a.n.kirillov]

My P's have lost a child around Christmas already and every year it affects my father so the morbid question is, does it hurt less down the line if it's the same time of the year with me or if it's "spread out" :-(

Then there's also new year's and someone's birthday that I don't want to potentially ruin for them for the next decade.

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

I had thought i would be able to hang on longer, but things took a rapid turn for the worse. I was ready 2 nights ago, but I have made christmas obligations with what is left of my family and i just don't want to ruin it. Honestly I am ready right now. I think the 30th will end up being my day as it will give me the time needed without risk of being found. SN will be my method and i feel horrible knowing it will be my sister that will find my blue body... but i just cant do it anymore...I also cant wait for the N delivery that may or may not come and may or may not have the amount needed.

 

[Nem]

That fucking sucks asshole, sorry to hear! I have tinnitus as well and I should be going after Christmas as well. A friend is keeping an eye on me and making me feel bad about ctb, says they'll be sad. That is unfortunate of course but does that mean I should keep suffering so that they aren't going to be sad? This is just fucked
Peace/hugs

 

[Avicii]

Oh im so sorry your words could be mine I wish I could help you im suffering deafening jet plane roaring hammering Tinnitus both ears hyperacusis so bad every noise is deafening and painful ears are pounding and vibrating the anxiety of it is horrific ive lost 2 stone most of my hair body bouncing shaking like you I had to be spotless well groomed hair teeth nice clothes on I was really well more than well dance class walking cycling lunches dinners theatre holidays wonderful life. Ive recovered from cancer chemotherapy a back op a breast op always healed recovered got well. ive wanted to die since the day this started ill never forget it 25 July 2017 ive tried and tried to get this sorted live with it but its destroyed me I look and feel horrific who cant get bathed hair washed ive done neither for 11 months and I was showerd every day bathed every night very particular with myself and our home I was capable independent calm happy soul lived looking after others I don't even know whats wrong I went to bed fine that night and just a few hours later woke up to this mild moderate liveable is one thing but extreme like you must also have is another beast altogether I so wish it would stop for you too I never knew it was so hard to go either I cant live with this rest of my life. Tell me about you are you male female how ling have you had it do you know why where are you in the world wish I could help you magic wand stop this for us both I don't think I can take much more I cant even function. Do you know how you will go how can this condition make us suicidal but it has your the only person in the state I am and wants to die I can stand a lot but I cant stand this no quiet no peace no life most people manage live with it I so want it to stop let me get my life back even then im so ill with the anxiety I don't know if I could get well the sheer panic of stuck like this is terrible ive never suffered anxiety in my life ive had high pitch hissing for years and don't hear it but these other 3 low deep noises are killing me I had so much life to live hopes dreams plans dear god can we overcome this there must be an answer ive spent thousands trying to get well get this down cope and ive no clue what set this off I just know I would have taken coped with anything but this xx

You might be interested in this they allow what Digntus didn't which was Tinnitus because there bullshit was that it was a symptom that could be treated ffs

That fucking sucks asshole, sorry to hear! I have tinnitus as well and I should be going after Christmas as well. A friend is keeping an eye on me and making me feel bad about ctb, says they'll be sad. That is unfortunate of course but does that mean I should keep suffering so that they aren't going to be sad? This is just fucked
Peace/hugs

Are you going all as a result of your T ? See mines fourfold , yes theress too many noise inter looping each other in my right ear and milder in my left , it's made me give up washing washing clothes buying clothes buying anything even food, stopped tgr gym running socialising tired emotionally drained and every time I go asleep I wake and think oh fucjin no I have to liver ovrtviy all again today

@Avicii were you a fan?

Of course fax is his coloboratiin with Coldplay

 

[Susan Caswell]

You might be interested in this they allow what Digntus didn't which was Tinnitus because there bullshit was that it was a symptom that could be treated ffs

Are you going all as a result of your T ? See mines fourfold , yes theress too many noise inter looping each other in my right ear and milder in my left , it's made me give up washing washing clothes buying clothes buying anything even food, stopped tgr gym running socialising tired emotionally drained and every time I go asleep I wake and think oh fucjin no I have to liver ovrtviy all again today

Of course fax is his coloboratiin with Coldplay

Yes I cant take it or live this way its been 2 years 5 months deafening tinnitus and hyperacusis and now horrific anxiety just had so much I wanted to do was happy healthy wonderful life this is torturing me to death people live with it manage I cant i just cant stand it

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Yes I cant take it or live this way its been 2 years 5 months deafening tinnitus and hyperacusis and now horrific anxiety just had so much I wanted to do was happy healthy wonderful life this is torturing me to death people live with it manage I cant i just cant stand it

So sorry. Life isn't easy for me too due to health issues but I do what I can. I do my best but I've come to the point of giving up and want to ctb. I'm just tired and I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. That's the truth.

 

[Susan Caswell]

So sorry. Life isn't easy for me too due to health issues but I do what I can. I do my best but I've come to the point of giving up and want to ctb. I'm just tired and I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. That's the truth.

im so very sorry x

 

[mathieu]

I think I'll go in february. Anti emetics will probably not arrive till then.

 

[SativaKherifa]

Nah, I will be celebrating Xmas and New Year's Eve but I will isolate myself from social media and friends.
I'll be going in begin February.

 

[chris8000]

Yes I cant take it or live this way its been 2 years 5 months deafening tinnitus and hyperacusis and now horrific anxiety just had so much I wanted to do was happy healthy wonderful life this is torturing me to death people live with it manage I cant i just cant stand it

That does sound bad, I've had chronic pain all over for 5 years. Last 2 years have been a lot worse, I have tried so many things now and either I got worse or only temporarily better.

I battled through depression and psychosis when I was in my 20s, but there was always some sense of this can get better and I tried things that did improve my situation a great deal. This time its like banging my head against a wall.

 

[mediocre]

I hope so. I've had everything I've needed for a while and still haven't done it. I just want my physical pain to end.

 

[BadDoctors]

I'll probably be gone January 4th or 5th. Just letting the holidays get out of the way, make it to the next decade, give a little breathing room from New Year's and I'm out.

Going to buy a new rope tomorrow because the one I have is too thick. Maybe try passing out with it.

 

[Azzy69]

Soon

 

[waterbottleman]

Was planning on going before Christmas but my meto never arrived.

now I'm wondering whether I should keep waiting or just try SN without meto.

 

[Flume]

Was planning on januari but that's not an option anymore. I'm not going to stress this so who knows when it happens. I just wish that my plans doesn't fuck up again, that feeling is the worst.

 

[GinaIsReady]

I can't imagine many forms of suffering worse than Tinnitus (and related illnesses). It must drive people insane. It seems that at least you have a reason that many other non-suicidal people would understand and forgive.

Every day I have urges to purge myself of my personal property. I have donated quite a lot of my things already but am keeping most of it until I have all my needed materials and ducks in a row to carry out the act of self-euthanization. I'm hoping for mid-February. But the urges to purge are soooooo strong.

 

[a.h]

Matters have come to a head for me now I'm not the person I was Tinnitus robs you of that , don't look after myself to the point I smell (pre tinnitus appearence was everything) can't remember last time bought clothes, droppprd off the gym , used to love running, socialising hard, and not forgetting when I look in the mirror I look like shit emotionally i am drained - it all mimics depression except it's not it's sinply the noise the constant noise

So yes literally emptied out my house leaving the bare minimum tv, couch, washing machine etc, everywhere looks sterile, after I did this was reading and googled upon this is what suicidal people do, go figures eh - planned for post Xmas day

I am so sorry for you. I had constant low voice tinnitus (damage in different part of nerves) for 3-4 years after head trauma (hit to head near the ear). I went to top neurologist and he said that nerves will heal but it takes many years and he gave me then new American drugs that help heal nerve damages plus many others. Pain from nerve damages haven't left completely (80% have) though it could now be partly due to taking pain meds almost daily for many years.
When person don't sleep well he gets all the depression symptoms.

I wish I could get rid of my staff as you did. But I try to put everything in plastic boxes and throw away some of them. That's my goal since I don't have energy for more.

What you did is good for relatives since it is hard to go through the relatives personal staff when they have just died. Relatives usually take just newest electronics and antiques.

But if someone have lots of staff that can be sold their relatives can sell all his belongings to a person who buys and resells them as his job. Then they don't have to do anything. 1 month rent deposit covers the cleaning expenses and more so nobody has to do that either. :)

 

[Lotus]

Same here. I have cleaned out my apartment (as much as I can without it looking suspicious). I'm just waiting for my last preperations to arrive in the mail for SN method, then I'm ready to go.

What are you guys doing for your last days? I've made some appointments to the spa (received a gift card for Christmas), but everything else requires energy that I don't have. However, I want my last days to be calm and beautiful. I would really like some tips. And NO christmassy stuff please as I try do avoid everything that has to do with it.

 

[a.h]

Same here. I have cleaned out my apartment (as much as I can without it looking suspicious). I'm just waiting for my last preperations to arrive in the mail for SN method, then I'm ready to go.

What are you guys doing for your last days? I've made some appointments to the spa (received a gift card for Christmas), but everything else requires energy that I don't have. However, I want my last days to be calm and beautiful. I would really like some tips. And NO christmassy stuff please as I try do avoid everything that has to do with it.

I will live normally but I try to be more in nature. I think that nature and everything natural is good and beautiful.