anyone give themselves the stupidest reasons to not do it?

[DyingToDie123]

Sometimes I'm just too lazy to ctb. I planned to last night. I was too tired, so I decided I'd sleep first. Now it's morning, and I feel weird about doing it in the morning. I used to wait until after class/assignments were done. Why? If I'm going to ctb anyway why bother?

I swear I want to do this but it never seems like the right time for the stupidest reasons.

 

[gluttony]

yeah for me it's always like "this manga isn't finished" or something like I want to eat a kebab first before I die. Maybe a part of me still wants to live and I try to find any dumb reason to make it to the next day.

also sometimes I feel like trying ctb today or tomorrow isn't really that meaningful or cool so I try to ctb at a meaningful date.

 

[hadenough58]

I don't think my reasons are stupid but others may disagree.
I set myself targets or places I must visit first but it may well be my just fooling myself that I am scared?

 

[DyingToDie123]

yeah for me it's always like "this manga isn't finished" or something like I want to eat a kebab first before I die.

I can't tell you how many times I put off exit bag back when that was my main method because I didn't wanna die hungry hahaha

Maybe a part of me still wants to live and I try to find any dumb reason to make it to the next day.

I think this is the case for me too

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't have any stupid reasons. I can't ctb because ctb methods aren't really accessible for me and my executive dysfunction makes me worry that I'll fail a suicide attempt and become a vegetable

 

[Dark Window]

Understood what you're saying. Sounds like you don't want death but you just want to stop suffering.

For me though, my quality of life has diminshed a lot for a while and now I'm getting closer to be being certain I want death.

But I admit I'm definitely not sure. I'm still trying to do things to get better, because I accept while part of me wants to get better, there's no way I can justify CTBing now.

But if months roll by and nothing is working and I simply cannot find a solution, there'll come a time when I simply just cannot make a good argument to remain alive anymore.

Even if there is a chance I may just decide I've had a enough and will just want not to exist anymore.

 

[Little_Suzy]

Does anyone feel FOMO instead of SI? lol

I have FOMO for the paradise that awaits us and God, because what if the earthly church brainwashed us into believing lies?

Will our loved ones who have passed away join us in paradise? They told us that there is no sickness or suffering in heaven. I dream of living in paradise, surrounded by fluffy angels, and in perfect health.

 

[teajay1]

i've been looking forward to buying a car!! im looking for a cute mustang and i'm gonna wrap it pink:) that's my reason not to go rn

 

[iloverachel]

I understand. The act of taking your own life is indeed an extremely scary thing to do for most people.

We tend to procrastinate on huge, scary tasks like CTB and its completely normal

I have seen some of your older threads and I am sorry you have been suicidal for so long and had so many near attempts

 

[DyingToDie123]

i've been looking forward to buying a car!! im looking for a cute mustang and i'm gonna wrap it pink:) that's my reason not to go rn

Mood, it's Taylor Swift's new album for me

 

[untothedepths]

For me its just being too much of a wuss to deal with unpleasantness of having to go. I think it was easier when I tried when I was much younger since I was more impulsive but now that Im older that sneaky survival instinct just pumps a bunch of chemicals in my brain to make me stop. Not afraid of death or whatever comes after, just having only the worst methods to choose and no way to make myself be able to go all the way.

 

[HopingOnaMiracle]

If you keep postponing maybe it's not the time yet

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

Yep. My current reason is, I want this flat to look nice for the next person (it looked terrible when I moved in, now it looks lovely) so I'm finishing decorating first. But, it's merely an excuse, because why would I give a shit if I really wanted to die? I don't - I merely want the suffering to end.

 

[Forveleth]

It's not a reason to live but I collect nail polish and sometimes I feel sad that there are color combos/designs I'll never do and it almost makes me want to hang on.

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

I want to write books, but writing books takes so much time and I'm too exhausted every day so I don't. However I can't die before I have published something else than short stories.

 

[AllMyDreams]

1) My family would be devastated, and I love them
2) I might reincarnate into a far worse situation than I am in now. Even if I'm miserable in this life, at least I know what to expect, and can prepare myself.