Anyone else's passed mistakes makes them more suicidal?

[HermitLonerGuy]

i just cannot get over some of the stupid mistakes i made and some of the good opportunities i let go.

its the worst feeling in the world, right now just thinking how much more different my life would have been had i made the right choices.

The past comes back to haunt me.

Its better dead than life like this, life is so unfair . Its all about taking the right opportunities at the right time and a small mistake can ruin your life.

Dead is better, no more haunting from the past and no regrets.

Life is just so random with luck and so much can end up wrong if you didnt roll the good dice .

It is haunting .It is inhumane. No kids for me, its subjugating someone to suffering.

 

[UnlimitedPain]

I can't move past them nor learn from them I feel, regret has taken over and has consumed me, my whole life is one big regret

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

I can't move past them nor learn from them I feel, regret has taken over and has consumed me, my whole life is one big regret

im sorry, i dont know what to say besides its the same for me.

 

[TimetoGo!]

i just cannot get over some of the stupid mistakes i made and some of the good opportunities i let go.

its the worst feeling in the world, right now just thinking how much more different my life would have been had i made the right choices.

The past comes back to haunt me.

Its better dead than life like this, life is so unfair . Its all about taking the right opportunities at the right time and a small mistake can ruin your life.

Dead is better, no more haunting from the past and no regrets.

Life is just so random with luck and so much can end up wrong if you didnt roll the good dice .

It is haunting .It is inhumane. No kids for me, its subjugating someone to suffering.

Exactly the same bro........can't move on from past shit particularly with business

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Exactly the same bro........can't move on from past shit particularly with business

It haunts you hey.

 

[UnlimitedPain]

im sorry, i dont know what to say besides its the same for me.

Some times less is more,
Sure we are not alone on this,
I sorry for how you feel too
Regret is a very powerful destructive force

 

[TimetoGo!]

It haunts you hey.

Everyday yeh..........from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep I'm not happy I'd be gone long ago if I had a sure fire method

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Everyday yeh..........from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep I'm not happy I'd be gone long ago if I had a sure fire method

100% same .
im just searching hard and thinking of a method to finally get peace.

 

[heavyeyes]

Same here friend. Shit comes back to haunt me all the time.

 

[TimetoGo!]

100% same .
im just searching hard and thinking of a method to finally get peace.

My method would 100% be a gun .........but not easy here in the UK. I'd literally hand over 10k for a gun

 

[TydalWave]

This. And also moving on from other people's mistakes.

They live in the back of my mind always and are a truly unstable and unforgiving foundation.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

My method would 100% be a gun .........but not easy here in the UK. I'd literally hand over 10k for a gun

here its easy and cheap to buy a gun off the street. I dont have money thou and useless unworking person so i cant, my best option rn is drowning in the ocean.

Same here friend. Shit comes back to haunt me all the time.

people say mistakes make you better and you learn from it but it doesnt, it ruins your life and you feel helpless cause you cant do anything to change it.

 

[Murasa]

Regrets are capable of destroying you when you are alone with your thoughts, for someone depressed that is tantamount of your mind throwing your mistakes in your face at the most vulnerable moment of your lives. Whenever I get to it I feel the same sadness and frustration.

 

[TimetoGo!]

here its easy and cheap to buy a gun off the street. I dont have money thou and useless unworking person so i cant, my best option rn is drowning in the ocean.

people say mistakes make you better and you learn from it but it doesnt, it ruins your life and you feel helpless cause you cant do anything to change it.

I've thought about booking into a shooting range and turning it on myself.......plenty of them here

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

I've thought about booking into a shooting range and turning it on myself.......plenty of them here

great idea mate i didnt even think of that but again id need money but good idea . Just only thing worries me is traumatizing others and messing their range with blood etc.

 

[Hirokami]

Very much so, actually. There are things I've done and said that I wish I could take back. Alas, I can't. So, now I have to deal with the fact that these haunting memories will never leave me. Maybe I deserve it, though. Even considered shock therapy to get rid of, not only the trauma inflicted on me, but also to rid myself of regrets. However, shock therapy has its risks. Not to mention, finding a doctor that would actually approve that procedure is arduous.

 

[SectOfValtiel]

Yeah, absolutely
Ive tried my fucking hardest to prevent them too
It just seems like Im incapable of changing for the better and I resent that part of me a lot because of how much I promised I would

The only good part is that I know the past few years have been my fair share of karma
Shitty people manipulating me and losing some of the most caring friends I had, every single day missing someone that Ill never get to see again
Living in awful conditions... at least Im suffering for my actions, better than having made those mistakes and not learning from them

Still theres a big part of me that thinks the only way Id make up for it is by CTB
Always goes back to my ex for me, but
I think that would be the only good thing I ever did for her
Disappear forever
And Im failing at even that haha

 

[Pluto]

I am the mistake.

 

[TimetoGo!]

great idea mate i didnt even think of that but again id need money but good idea . Just only thing worries me is traumatizing others and messing their range with blood etc.

someone will always get hurt by it but its either that or carry on which isn't an option

 

[niiina]

Yes, I can't move from the past, I keep with it in my head every day and every night, this is one of the reasons I'll ctb.

 

[fettuccinenoodle]

Yes, my mistake was thinking I was a bother to the love of my life. We dated for 6 years I backed away thinking he didn't want me around. It now been 8 years, I still love him very much and we talked everyday up until a month n a half ago, now he only responds if I text him first and its only short and once a week now. He started dating someone and said we couldnt have as close of a relationship as we had once had because he's giving his attention to her. I do still think he loves me because if he didn't he wouldn't respond, right? Maybe its just pity responds...Maybe theres something wrong with me that I feel so much closer to him than he is to me, or than we really are...

he didn't put any effort into seeing me, so maybe it was the right choice. Idk. I don't know whats wrong with my brain. Everyday I dont hear from him is miserable, how can someone have such a hold on my mental state. I've hardly ate anything since 6/7 weeks ago. Maybe my heart or kidneys will fail. I constantly feel like my heart will jump out of my chest. I just want to sleep forever.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Yes, I can't move from the past, I keep with it in my head every day and every night, this is one of the reasons I'll ctb.

Im sorry, i can relate.

Yes, my mistake was thinking I was a bother to the love of my life. We dated for 6 years I backed away thinking he didn't want me around. It now been 8 years, I still love him very much and we talked everyday up until a month n a half ago, now he only responds if I text him first and its only short and once a week now. He started dating someone and said we couldnt have as close of a relationship as we had once had because he's giving his attention to her. I do still think he loves me because if he didn't he wouldn't respond, right? Maybe its just pity responds...Maybe theres something wrong with me that I feel so much closer to him than he is to me, or than we really are...

he didn't put any effort into seeing me, so maybe it was the right choice. Idk. I don't know whats wrong with my brain. Everyday I dont hear from him is miserable, how can someone have such a hold on my mental state. I've hardly ate anything since 6/7 weeks ago. Maybe my heart or kidneys will fail. I constantly feel like my heart will jump out of my chest. I just want to sleep forever.

i know what thats like, trust me i was madly in love in my life .

i was crying and upset for weeks, but i got over them by keeping my mind occupied and meeting new people.

you have to let go, its toxic to your mental health, i know its difficult and painful to think of right now but in the long run you will be better off trust me.

 

[BipolarExpress]

Mine certainly contribute to my suicidal ideations. (Especially the ones I made while I was going through hypomanic and manic episodes—I'm bipolar and hate it.)

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

im sorry , i hope you can find peace. We are here for you.

btw i like your username its cool.

 

[BipolarExpress]

im sorry , i hope you can find peace. We are here for you.

btw i like your username its cool.

Thank you!

 

[onlyway63]

Oh yes. Regrets. So many regrets.
There are so many things I would do differently, if I could. I can't ever forget those things I did wrong. They randomly pop into my head every day, and I can't help but loathe myself even more when they do.

 

[deadliftEnjoyer]

I am ashamed of almost all my decisions

I have this very weak hope that by ctbing I can have another chance and live correctly this time

 

[fettuccinenoodle]

Im sorry, i can relate.

i know what thats like, trust me i was madly in love in my life .

i was crying and upset for weeks, but i got over them by keeping my mind occupied and meeting new people.

you have to let go, its toxic to your mental health, i know its difficult and painful to think of right now but in the long run you will be better off trust me.

Its been heavily effecting me the whole 8 years and worse this last year and extremely this last 6-8 weeks. I fear I will always love him. I cant imagine a life without him. The whole time he was the one I thought of when I went to bed and woke up because he would text me good mornings. Its been 14 years. How can I just not love somebody anymore? It sounds impossible. I mention things to him while we text now and he answers the fun questions like I ask about a movie he watched and ignores everything meaningful I say about how I love him so much and why didn't he try to see me and what the last 8 years was. He just says its sad but nice to hear I cared and thought of him always.

Its so frustrating. I am distracting myself to help cope. Im learning Japanese and sign language, reading the "power of now" meditating, breathing, sleeping. Not eating but I can take a couple bites every 2/3 days and trying to be around family. But my mind always slips back when its quiet. The rock in my throat. The panic and tightness in my arms and legs from the heartbreak is always there. I feel like such a baby.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Its been heavily effecting me the whole 8 years and worse this last year and extremely this last 6-8 weeks. I fear I will always love him. I cant imagine a life without him. The whole time he was the one I thought of when I went to bed and woke up because he would text me good mornings. Its been 14 years. How can I just not love somebody anymore? It sounds impossible. I mention things to him while we text now and he answers the fun questions like I ask about a movie he watched and ignores everything meaningful I say about how I love him so much and why didn't he try to see me and what the last 8 years was. He just says its sad but nice to hear I cared and thought of him always.

Its so frustrating. I am distracting myself to help cope. Im learning Japanese and sign language, reading the "power of now" meditating, breathing, sleeping. Not eating but I can take a couple bites every 2/3 days and trying to be around family. But my mind always slips back when its quiet. The rock in my throat. The panic and tightness in my arms and legs from the heartbreak is always there. I feel like such a baby.

take it a day at a time, youll get there.
what you are suffering from is called limerence . https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence and Halo Effect. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect

Your mind has just built up this person to such a level you dont see their flaws, its made them become idolized, its toxic for you. Please give getting better a chance.

This first step is acknowledging that they are not as perfect or ideal as you think.
it can have been 8 years or 80 years, you will only start healing when you stop the Limerence and halo effect and care about yourself.
Then and only then it will be day 1 of getting over them.

i know how it is, i thought id never get over those women. now i see how stupid i was and im much better , they have no power over me or ruining my day for them any longer.

 

[Un-]

Its been heavily effecting me the whole 8 years and worse this last year and extremely this last 6-8 weeks. I fear I will always love him. I cant imagine a life without him. The whole time he was the one I thought of when I went to bed and woke up because he would text me good mornings. Its been 14 years. How can I just not love somebody anymore? It sounds impossible. I mention things to him while we text now and he answers the fun questions like I ask about a movie he watched and ignores everything meaningful I say about how I love him so much and why didn't he try to see me and what the last 8 years was. He just says its sad but nice to hear I cared and thought of him always.

Its so frustrating. I am distracting myself to help cope. Im learning Japanese and sign language, reading the "power of now" meditating, breathing, sleeping. Not eating but I can take a couple bites every 2/3 days and trying to be around family. But my mind always slips back when its quiet. The rock in my throat. The panic and tightness in my arms and legs from the heartbreak is always there. I feel like such a baby.

I'm sort of going through what you're going through.. A smaller degree - the partner in question was with me for 4 years. It hurts like shit. Fuck fuck fuck it hurts.

But the only healthy solace I have is that I won't be in this pain forever. Regardless of when I decide to die, I know there'll be a time where the gash on my heart coagulates, and.. It won't hurt anymore.

The difficult part, is getting up everyday. It feels surreal to think "They're really gone". And, it's.. Awful to abandon your dreams with them. But it's much better this way, even though it definitely feels like it isn't.

If you're like me, then all of these positive tidbits aren't really helping. They aren't quenching the pain right now. I don't know how.. To do that. Distracting myself doesn't help. I usually try to acknowledge my pain - grab it by the shoulders and bore my eyes into it - but that hurts as well. There's no avoiding it.

This was supposed to be helpful. I think I just depressed you. I'm sorry.. I know at least a fraction of what you feel. And I'm so sorry, my friend. I would never wish this pain upon anyone.