Anyone else who do not want to get "help"?

[AdaSmiles]

I often see people asking for help to recover, but in my case, I do not want any help. I have no problem to die. Nothing in life makes really sense to me. I had a time, when I was quite weahlty, had a girlfriend and freinds, but I was not happy at all. You spend your money just to kill time. You buy things to kill time. You travel around to kill time. You have hobbies to kill time. You meet with people to kill time. If all of that would not be the case, everyone would get nuts, because they would realize that there is no meaning in life. Therefore, I am not sad at all, if I would leave this place. The only reason why I am still around are animals, as I work for an animal rescue. Maybe a strange attitude... Anyone else?

 

[Adûnâi]

Ray Kurzweil says that artificial superintelligence is gonna be to human what human is to a mouse. So maybe that? But seems like wishful thinking.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't even believe in the idea of "recovery" personally as I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what, wanting death is a result of becoming aware of how truly undesirable existence is rather than something one needs helping from. I'd be glad to not exist, I have no interest in suffering in this meaningless existence for decades on end. For me suicide is the rational solution as it's the one escape from the futile burden of existing as a human, I don't see any point or benefit to existing, rather I'd just be unconscious for all eternity and I wish that I never existed at all.

 

[wsx-rt]

If a person is physically and mentally healthy, this is the most important thing in life, everything else can be changed, remade, bought, etc. I believe that a healthy person is an equally happy person, those people who are physically or mentally ill can understand me, these are the most great suffering, and when the disease is severe and cannot be cured, then suicide is the only correct solution.

 

[Agon321]

I can't even ask anyone for help. I just can't. It's a bit like a wall you can't get through.

In the current situation, I don't want to either.
I settled into my mental shit.
I can't imagine returning to the world of the living.
It would require too much energy and time from me.
It's not worth the potential results.

I choose the most reasonable decision in my situation.
Of course, my perspective is distorted because I'm not a "normal" person, whatever that means.

 

[UKscotty]

My personal belief is that whilst we are still alive there must be something wanting help and recovery, even if we don't believe so.

Those who have lost all hope have left this world.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

I only want enough help so that I can retreat into a tiny bedroom and never leave it again, I'm done with the idea that my problems can be solved and the longer I progress the more problems I uncover!

But survival instinct, and the grief of lost potential, you know. I wouldn't mind being a complete and total shut-in, but that's not really on the list of "things society will help me do" so yeah. I only want recovery so I can write a book telling the world how much it sucked to not identify with anybody for decades, to be fundamentally misunderstood was a massive pain in my ass.

But people won't listen to that if they hear it, so it's kinda masturbatory of me to want that. I don't believe I will recover and I have had all sorts of help, paid all sorts of money for that help too.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, I don't want "help" at all, at least not the type of help that is described by pro lifers. I would however appreciate getting helped in trying to kill myself as I believe that dying in a profession setting is the only way to die with basically zero risks and chances for failure. I don't want help in living because I don't want to live and my desire to not live isn't caused by mental health issues but rather seeing that life itself isn't worth it for me. I want to die because reality is too disappointing and not worthy enough for me to want to voluntarily choose to live in it. No amount of help in making me try to live would change reality itself; the system, social norms and the limitations of the human body would stay the way they are

 

[thebelljarrr]

Yeah, the help they're talking about is bullshit, it won't make me not see how cruel reality is. My "better" has always been disappearing

 

[outrider567]

I am way beyond any help

 

[DarknessInMe]

I can very much relate to that. I was diagnosed with a severe depressive episode as I was ten, was hospitalised for a year and felt better until the beginning of 2021. At that time, my depression came back. I was hospitalised about fifteen times since then (mostly due to suicidal ideation, plans and attempts), tried a buch of different medications and therapy.
There's nothing left that could help me to get better, and even if there was something, I wouldn't want to try it out. I'm extremely tired of all that, I just wish my family could understand that it would be better for everyone if I just wasn't here anymore.

 

[Covert]

I tried it, but it didn't "help". They think if you just do therapy and take pills, you'll get better, but there are many people who did therapy for years and took all kinds of pills and it never brought a lasting improvement.

 

[333s]

My personal belief is that whilst we are still alive there must be something wanting help and recovery, even if we don't believe so.

Those who have lost all hope have left this world.

talking of ending it all, it's rather about gaining enough motivation to do so, not "losing hope"
like its pretty common for people not wanting to keep living (like this) but also not wanting to die, not having enough will to decide something or take responsibility for their decision

and it's also common for depressed people to not want anything - including help and death lol
"help" people offer for depressed people is often far from being magic - and help for suicidal people is literally hell almost always (do so-called psychologists doing a great job by telling our suicidal friends things that push them over the edge?)

 

[Forveleth]

I went for "help" to a few different professionals. They didn't give me the therapy I was looking for (intensive CBT) but rather just wanted to talk (which does nothing for me). The last shrink I went to was at a CBT specialist center and they told me I was "too difficult of a case" for them. So I guess I literally can't get help? I dunno. It's damn expensive and I gave up.

 

[Nettles]

I often see people asking for help to recover, but in my case, I do not want any help. I have no problem to die. Nothing in life makes really sense to me. I had a time, when I was quite weahlty, had a girlfriend and freinds, but I was not happy at all. You spend your money just to kill time. You buy things to kill time. You travel around to kill time. You have hobbies to kill time. You meet with people to kill time. If all of that would not be the case, everyone would get nuts, because they would realize that there is no meaning in life. Therefore, I am not sad at all, if I would leave this place. The only reason why I am still around are animals, as I work for an animal rescue. Maybe a strange attitude... Anyone else?

I don't want any more help either, I get it.

 

[Hollowman]

The "help" leaves much to be desired. They can't save us all.

 

[Raven2]

The way my life is now I am way beyond recovery I think.
Ive tried the 'help' antidepressants, therapy, in patient treatment ( they let me go before I was recovered) it doesn't work for me. I still have mental health issues that arent going to get better

I would just like a peaceful way out of this shit.

 

[LJ85]

I don't want help. I want everything on my terms. Whatever's meant to be is what'll happen. They're free to help by cutting me down after an hour or two lol.

 

[jbear824]

The only help I want is from the state to help me die.

 

[Coconut blue]

i want help, but in dying, not living

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I want help, but not the kind that's out there because nothing I've been shown is going to actually help me.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

I don't even know what help looks like anymore. I always tried to get help especially for the suicidality and it seemed like the one thing that just.. doesn't exist. It's not one size fits all and I'm sorry but pills & 1 hour therapy sessions aren't going to shift life long things just help me "cope" until I can't really & then here I am again questioning my whole existence.

What help do I need I don't kno and fear I never will, will never find it. If I find it won't be able to accept or recieve it. I'm tired of heart break like paper cuts that just add up. Having hope feels like that sometimes.


I dunno what I want anymore to make anything better. Maybe it's just within & then probs is but I dunno how to "fix" that either & not much that I've learned has shifted that so I fundamentally feel... not made for this life.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

My personal belief is that whilst we are still alive there must be something wanting help and recovery, even if we don't believe so.

Those who have lost all hope have left this world.

Many of us have already attempted on several occasions. The odds are against you when it comes to suicide, especially if you are young and physically healthy (which is why some people don't even bother attempting at all). Not everyone wants help or feels like they need it. I, for example, don't want to live a long life and once I've gotten some of the stuff I want/need to get done out of the way I plan on attempting again. Not to be rude (and I mean this in the most sincere way possible), but it feels like you are constantly protecting your feelings onto the rest of us and it's a bit annoying.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I want help, but not the kind that's out there because nothing I've been shown is going to actually help me.

This is exactly how I feel as well, and was a realization I came to after years of trying various sources of help, every therapist or psychiatrist that I went to had never seen a situation like mine before and had no idea what they were doing, in regards to my autism and complex PTSD.

Then once I actually studied in a similar field I realized just how unscientific and throw something at the wall and see if it sticks a lot of mental health treatment is. I mean, there are barely any studies that exist on how to help autistic adults, nearly nothing. It's like once you are 18, they pretend that you don't have a life long disability anymore.

If there were actually things out there that could help me, I'd do them, but I've tried just about everything with 0 improvement. Then if you throw physical health problems into the mix it all gets even more complicated and becomes a shit show.

For the birth defect that I have, the only option available is invasive brain surgery that sometimes only has a 50% success rate in certain studies, and can carry loads of complications like encephalitis or needing a shunt put in your head. A lot of surgeons won't even do the damn procedure and just tell you to live with the symptoms even though there's no treatment for them.

So where is the help? I don't see it anywhere.

 

[GuiltyAsSin]

I want help. I'm getting help. I have a beautiful life on paper. I'm a professional and so is my husband, we own a nice home, live comfortably, etc. My husband loves me and is supportive. I have friends. I have some family that aren't toxic and my husband's family adores me. We have dogs we adore and have been planning on getting pregnant. I have resources. I have an incredible therapist who is literally the reason I haven't attempted yet. I take medications that do help take the edge off things.

And yet, this past year has just been pain. I mean, as I realize I suffer from complex trauma, it is clear that my whole life has been pain. This past year has put it all in stark relief. I don't want to be here. My life I've built, the help I'm getting, none of it matters in the face of this agony. It's like trying to empty an ocean one spoonful at a time.

 

[divinemistress36]

Getting help is a lot of trial and error you become a guniea pig and some of the treatments just make you worse. Getting help can help some people but some of us just makes life worse

 

[fleshgarden]

I do not.l. I used to. really I already did everything to get help, but now I'm sure there's no escape and this is how life is. I don't see the point in help, I would like like help if it was something that could for sure help my life, but it doesn't. in that sense I don't want help. it's futile. and I no longer haev the energy to actively make my mindset better.. I've done it and it rationalized my intense and intrusive thoughts but I still felt the same.. I guess it makes my quality of life better but nothing could ever make me stop feeling this way
sorry if this post sounded weird, I'm a bit high (unironically.something I do for help, but its doesn't because I'm still here browsing; this forum..LOL) and I'm bad at securing my train of thought..

 

[voc_89]

i don't cause in my country, if I really open up, they will have me sectioned. There is alot of stigma in my country on mental health meanwhile CTB is really on the rise. I think the most recent that was reported was a 14 year old girl... last week or so

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've already gone through phases of trying to help myself- all those self help books, exercise, heathier diet, walks in nature, new starts in life over and over again. I tried therapy and meds briefly too.

I'm not in that frame of mind anymore. To be honest, it's exhausting to keep challenging yourself and your thinking. To push yourself to do things that scare you because they will (supposedly) be good for you in the long run. It's not to say I think it's impossible but, I simply don't have the motivation anymore. Plus, I've had 44 years of trying with not enough gratification (to my mind.)

I just want to live as easy a life as I can now, until I don't need to anymore. That in itself is hard enough- staying financially solvent. Dealing with all of life's shit and feeling resentful all the time you're doing it.

I suppose when I was younger, I knew I had more years ahead of me- so it made sense to try and turn things around. I've had ideation for decades but I've always known I wanted to wait for my Dad to go first. I suppose realistically speaking, we're closer to that happening now so, in some sense, I suppose I feel as if I'm winding down.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I've given up on it too, outside of my SSRI which helps me feel a little more composed. I'm aware that no therapist can grasp the complexity of what I'm dealing with, and I feel reluctant to share my story with just anyone too, frankly.

I don't like feeling as powerless as I do when exposed to a mental health setting. I'd rather avoid it altogether. Besides which, my main stumbling block is my undiagnosed health condition. This makes me feel spaced out, off balance, exhausted, brain-fogged and delirious almost all the time. I'm really only still here because I don't experience much pain, to speak of. If I had that on top of all this, I'd really be on borrowed time. But as it stands, I can sort of deal, albeit not tremendously well. As long as I don't have much to do on any given day, I can manage. But if and when life starts requiring more of me, I think it's pretty much over.